Dating - Are there a lot of good guys? (Denver: rating, building)

[the_koolkat]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948

well there are--- but most are in hiding. they have found that the market is not too good and that the current ms tarantula has a nasty habit of eating her partner after mating (42 million divorces since 1975 75% filed by women my gosh we are slow).
the other issue is despite affirmations on CDF of looking for mr right--- many women find mr right just plain boring and find mr wrong exciting and fun.

Ok..interesting perspective. I have had many partners and have not "eaten" any of them. I did file for my divorce though....after my husband hit me. There is no such thing as "Mr. Right" or "Mr. Wrong." There are just many, many different people out there. Everyone on a personal journey. At times we find someone to share that journey with. That doesn't make everyone else we met along the way wrong.

[2bindenver]

I think that there are plenty of quality people out there. More single men in general. But to find compatibility; a willingness to be open, honest and caring of another human is complex, and a struggle.

I didn't file, he did. He said that my health issues and our daughter's made us both defective. His issue is that his mother gave him to the grandparents to raise while they dealt with a preemie. And the grandparents were not loving, or tolerant of a little boy.

[wanttomoveeast]

That's so sad 2b!!! I loved what you said about a willingness to care for another person. It is a struggle. I've been married almost 6 yrs. now and I can honestly say the struggle was worth it for us; although not easy at all.

[tolife]

Originally Posted by Alt Dach

Friends,It's REAL simple-women are hard-wired to go after bad-boys,period end of sentence.
Of couse few will acknowledge it, especially to themselves.

Single Denver woman here. Ummm, I beg to differ. Not intelligent women. Seriously, I would never date a guy who was manipulative, controlling or emotionally abusive. At this point of my 37 yr old life, I simply laugh at that behavior and walk away, perhaps because I am comfortable being by myself. And so many people fall into that controlling category (women included!).

As a single, very available, independent, fit & healthy, active, confident & successful professional woman, I'm still frustrated with dating here in Denver, despite the ratio that is supposed to work in my favor. I get lonely, but I can't date controlling guys anymore. Or guys that aren't adventurous. Or guys that don't have personalities. Or the silent types. Or the ones who lack listening skills and are self absorbed. Yah, and guys with bad teeth. Oh, and I have to mention the "mysterious" types- they take the cake. I'm transparent and you should be too. My list goes on.

So the other factor is my age. When I finally do meet a guy around my age who I am interested in, they have their stuff together, no kids, just like me. I get excited. But then I soon realize they are not interested in me because they want a younger woman!

So, now I'm just say f*** it and do stuff I like to do. It's freeing and fun!

The only thing I miss is fun in the bedroom with men, but I can't bring myself to sleep around, so I have to get creative on my own to meet those needs!

Ladies, don't come to Denver unless the mountains are your love. If they are, contact me and I will show you how much fun they can be. I feel more alive doing mountain sports than anything else! If you are into urban life and all things cultural, stay on the east coast.

I agree with another gal on this thread. I have smashed my biological clock and I am living my life!

I'm off to Keystone for a day of fun, for example!

[the_koolkat]

Originally Posted by tolife

Single Denver woman here. Ummm, I beg to differ. Not intelligent women. Seriously, I would never date a guy who was manipulative, controlling or emotionally abusive. At this point of my 37 yr old life, I simply laugh at that behavior and walk away, perhaps because I am comfortable being by myself. And so many people fall into that controlling category (women included!).

As a single, very available, independent, fit & healthy, active, confident & successful professional woman, I'm still frustrated with dating here in Denver, despite the ratio that is supposed to work in my favor. I get lonely, but I can't date controlling guys anymore. Or guys that aren't adventurous. Or guys that don't have personalities. Or the silent types. Or the ones who lack listening skills and are self absorbed. Yah, and guys with bad teeth. Oh, and I have to mention the "mysterious" types- they take the cake. I'm transparent and you should be too. My list goes on.

No woman has to take crap from controlling or abusive men anymore. My list of undesirable men looks just like this one! However, even with such a list I have no problem finding amazing men here in Denver. I am talking professionals who are clean, fit, intelligent, fun, witty, well traveled, open minded, confident , excellent conversationalists, good listeners, charming.... I am not exaggerating either. They are everywhere.

That said here are a few things I have come to know. If I was looking for one man to share my life with it would be different. I am dating more then one man so in turn I have no problem with any of them seeing other women. Men may be drawn to me because I don't want a committed relationship. I am not demanding, clingy, or jealous. I am also a genuine friend. The friendship part of my dating is very important and very treasured. Lastly, I know without a doubt that any man who is anywhere close to old enough for me to date has baggage. If you are looking for an adult who has lived at all without baggage give it up. Part of being a friend is knowing the bad and the good, the history and past that made them who they are today. Regardless of what you are looking for don't try to skip the friend step. Friendship is the building blocks to any relationship.

[sportsfangal]

You're going to have to introduce me to some of these guys you're meeting!! I have found a couple of them, but I am interested in a LTR with one. I also love Denver men, but can't find one that wants a LTR yet.

Originally Posted by the_koolkat

No woman has to take crap from controlling or abusive men anymore. My list of undesirable men looks just like this one! However, even with such a list I have no problem finding amazing men here in Denver. I am talking professionals who are clean, fit, intelligent, fun, witty, well traveled, open minded, confident , excellent conversationalists, good listeners, charming.... I am not exaggerating either. They are everywhere.

That said here are a few things I have come to know. If I was looking for one man to share my life with it would be different. I am dating more then one man so in turn I have no problem with any of them seeing other women. Men may be drawn to me because I don't want a committed relationship. I am not demanding, clingy, or jealous. I am also a genuine friend. The friendship part of my dating is very important and very treasured. Lastly, I know without a doubt that any man who is anywhere close to old enough for me to date has baggage. If you are looking for an adult who has lived at all without baggage give it up. Part of being a friend is knowing the bad and the good, the history and past that made them who they are today. Regardless of what you are looking for don't try to skip the friend step. Friendship is the building blocks to any relationship.

[the_koolkat]

I can't help with LTR. The guys I am seeing don't want that either. I just don't think you can go out there looking for a husband. Go out there looking for a friend. Spend the time to make a strong friendship. Then you have something strong enough to build a long term relationship on.

[wanttomoveeast]

hahahaha kool, you are cracking me up.

"I just don't think you can go out there looking for a husband."

That's what I was trying to get across back on page 3.

[katmoney]

Originally Posted by wanttomoveeast

hahahaha kool, you are cracking me up.

"I just don't think you can go out there looking for a husband."

That's what I was trying to get across back on page 3.

Ain't that the truth.

Just live your life, it'll happen one day. I know it will for me, I'm not freakin out yet.

[sportsfangal]

right, I have a few friends right now, It'll probably be easier once i get a house and fell more grounded. I travel too much now for a LTR anyway, but I'm working on building the friendships.
But I do agree with your assessment of the guys in Denver, the places I go in CC are full of them, mostly older ones, but nice and professional also.

Originally Posted by the_koolkat

I can't help with LTR. The guys I am seeing don't want that either. I just don't think you can go out there looking for a husband. Go out there looking for a friend. Spend the time to make a strong friendship. Then you have something strong enough to build a long term relationship on.