Getting sick of this city! (Des Moines, Iowa City: 2013, home, neighborhood)

[Repubocrat]

Relocated to Des Moines 2 years ago. I really don't have a lot of negative things to say about this place but this city gets old really fast! I enjoy the quality of life I have here BUT sometimes I feel like I am missing on so many things just by continuing to stay here.

I find myself driving to Minneapolis, Kansas City and Chicago a lot, simply because this town can be so freaking boring. I was able to develop a good social circle here BUT sometimes I feel like the quality of the people I have met here is definitely subpar.

Dating in this city is so strange, especially when you come from a bigger city(Minneapolis). I come from a very diverse background, I speak 3 languages, also lived in a few different countries- I don't care about religion and never thought religion would be an issue when dating- but here, it is a big deal.

It seems like most girls here in DSM just want to get married, have a bunch of kids and live in suburb of Des Moines for the rest of their lives, no desire to expand their horizons or think differently than the herd.

I am 35, single, no kids and really don't have any desire to get married anytime soon, here in Des Moines, people think it is really strange for someone my age to be single and no kids

Anyways, there are just some of my observations- I have nothing against this city but I don't see myself staying her for the rest of my life.

[DMRyan]

That's cool, every place can't be everything to everyone. Des Moines is definitely a smaller metro, and while I don't find it to be boring, I get the itch to go to bigger cities every now and then too.

DSM will always be here for you if you get tired of the next place, or want to change your lifestyle to a pace that is more reflective of the more predominant culture here.

[ElleTea]

I've lived here since Sept 2001. Before moving here I lived in Burlington in the SE corner of the state. Small city, about 25,000. When I lived there I was ALWAYS going someplace. Iowa City, Quad Cities, Chicago, St Louis, etc. When I moved to Des Moines I thought I'd be going to Omaha or KC or Minneapolis a lot because they are fairly close. I did the first year or so I moved here...then stopped. There was nothing in those cities I couldn't find here.

It's too bad that you feel the people you have met here are "subpar." I've met some really cool people here, and I am glad to know them. And while I do know several people with kids, I don't know anyone who fits your description of just wanting to get married and have kids and move to the suburbs.

Not every town is for everyone. That's what makes this country so great. I am moving away from Des Moines in 2013, but not because of boredom. It's the winters I can't take anymore.

[Repubocrat]

Originally Posted by ElleTea

I've lived here since Sept 2001. Before moving here I lived in Burlington in the SE corner of the state. Small city, about 25,000. When I lived there I was ALWAYS going someplace. Iowa City, Quad Cities, Chicago, St Louis, etc. When I moved to Des Moines I thought I'd be going to Omaha or KC or Minneapolis a lot because they are fairly close. I did the first year or so I moved here...then stopped. There was nothing in those cities I couldn't find here.

I disagree. Can you find an IKEA store here in Des Moines? How about a inner city lake like Lake Calhoun in Minneapolis? Sorry but Gray's Lake does not even compare. If you know a place here in Des Moines that makes barbecue like they do in Kansas City, please let me know and I will be eating there everyday and please don't tell me Jethro's!

See what I mean? I guess, if you come from a small town somewhere in Iowa, Des Moines is a paradise, but in reality, Des Moines is the smallest metro area I have ever lived in. I find it lacking in many aspects but I also happen to agree that it would be a bit irrational to expect more from a place than what it can actually offer.

Maybe for you, it is a "comfortable" place but I can't even identify with the way the average Iowan think, sometimes I find myself having to explain to people here why I travel so much, why I am so interested in different cultures, why I like ethnic foods so much, why Hawkeye football does not excite me as much as it excites them or why I am single and have no kids at age 35.

In just about any bigger, more cosmopolitan city, my lifestyle would be considered "normal" whereas here, it is seen as "weird", exceptional or out of ordinary.

[ElleTea]

Originally Posted by Repubocrat

I disagree. Can you find an IKEA store here in Des Moines? How about a inner city lake like Lake Calhoun in Minneapolis? Sorry but Gray's Lake does not even compare. If you know a place here in Des Moines that makes barbecue like they do in Kansas City, please let me know and I will be eating there everyday and please don't tell me Jethro's!

See what I mean? I guess, if you come from a small town somewhere in Iowa, Des Moines is a paradise, but in reality, Des Moines is the smallest metro area I have ever lived in. I find it lacking in many aspects but I also happen to agree that it would be a bit irrational to expect more from a place than what it can actually offer.

Maybe for you, it is a "comfortable" place but I can't even identify with the way the average Iowan think, sometimes I find myself having to explain to people here why I travel so much, why I am so interested in different cultures, why I like ethnic foods so much, why I am single and have no kids at age 35.

In just about any bigger, more cosmopolitan city, my lifestyle would be considered "normal" whereas here, it is seen as "weird", exceptional or out of ordinary.

okay, I could find nothing I NEEDED in those cities I can't find here.

IKEA: dont care for badly made furniture
KC BBQ? I'm a vegetarian
Lakes and other such recreation? I'm not outdoorsy

I am single and have no kids at age 40, and prefer Thai food over anything anything American. I have managed to find friends here that have similar tastes and interests and don't question mine and think they are "weird." Maybe if you would drop your superior attitude, you might too.

[SharpHawkeye]

I usually try not to come down hard on people who "vent" on here, but you're just asking for it.

Basically you moved here from Minneapolis, expecting Des Moines to be Minneapolis. Didn't you do your homework before you moved here? It's not Minneapolis. It's not Chicago. It's not KC. It's a nice, smaller Midwest metro. It's more conservative and family-oriented than Chicago or Minneapolis. There are no IKEA's (for now). The people tend to be more interested in their friends and neighbors than in global culture or jet-setting. These are all things you should have known going into it. They're not good things, or bad things per se--it's just part of the way the city is.

I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you, but you can't move to a place and expect it to magically conform to your likes and dislikes. You can't expect people to think like you and act like you--and then when they don't, label them as "subpar".

Basically, the problem isn't Des Moines. It's you. So quit complaining and move already.

[econboy]

Originally Posted by Repubocrat

Relocated to Des Moines 2 years ago. I really don't have a lot of negative things to say about this place but this city gets old really fast! I enjoy the quality of life I have here BUT sometimes I feel like I am missing on so many things just by continuing to stay here.

I find myself driving to Minneapolis, Kansas City and Chicago a lot, simply because this town can be so freaking boring. I was able to develop a good social circle here BUT sometimes I feel like the quality of the people I have met here is definitely subpar.

Dating in this city is so strange, especially when you come from a bigger city(Minneapolis). I come from a very diverse background, I speak 3 languages, also lived in a few different countries- I don't care about religion and never thought religion would be an issue when dating- but here, it is a big deal.

It seems like most girls here in DSM just want to get married, have a bunch of kids and live in suburb of Des Moines for the rest of their lives, no desire to expand their horizons or think differently than the herd.

I am 35, single, no kids and really don't have any desire to get married anytime soon, here in Des Moines, people think it is really strange for someone my age to be single and no kids

Anyways, there are just some of my observations- I have nothing against this city but I don't see myself staying her for the rest of my life.

While I disagree with alot of what you have said about it being fun, interesting, etc. I see what you are saying. however, what you are saying is you are upset that Des Moines hasn't grown from a 500,000 metro to a 4 million metro in the 2 years you have been here. Don't know how that is/was supposed to happen.

Des Moines is growing and there are always new things to do all the time, whether it's retail oriented, social scene, arts (definately) entertainment, all that. It isn't going to morph into a huge city like NYC or LA for you just b/c you aren't happy with some of the cultural atmosphere.

And, you are going to find much the same thing with alot of cities around the country. Every place has something different.

BBQ? Des Moines has two nationally award winning BBQ outlets. They can't be all that awful. I've been to the deep south and to KC and had their BBQ as well. It's good stuff for sure but every brand has it's lovers and haters.

If you aren't happy, then by all means move on.

[leilay]

It sounds like you're looking for home in Des Moines. You might not find it and move back to what you like, what you're familiar with, and what offers you the most things that you find satisfying. Having moved around quite a bit, I know that comparing and ranting really doesn't help - you either have to accept where you are and make the best of it, striking out to find ways to replace the things you want or ways to do without OR you have to move on.

[capitalcityguy]

Originally Posted by Repubocrat

I was able to develop a good social circle here BUT sometimes I feel like the quality of the people I have met here is definitely subpar.

#1 – it doesn’t sound like you’ve developed a “good social circle” (as you claim) if you haven’t found people with similar interests. I’m pretty confident they are here in Des Moines….just maybe not in the numbers you’d find in bigger cities. I could be wrong, but my guess is you chose a poor place to live (i.e.….not downtown or urban neighborhood like Sherman Hill or East Village) and/or you’re not getting involved with organizations/events that attract the right type of like-minded people.

#2 – I’m not sure how serious you are when you throw out words like “sub-par” when speaking about people. Seems a bit like you are trolling for responses using language like that.

As Ryan said, a small Midwestern metro is not for everyone. This might be the case for you. That said, different than what you enjoy desire, doesn’t mean “subpar”. Open up to an appreciations for diversity (i.e.….different than what you think/believe/wish) and you’ll be a much happier person and you won't blind yourself to the possiblities DM offers --i.e... What BBQ places have you tried? Many think Flying Mango is the best. Smokey D’s has won numerous national awards. Uncle Wendell’s, Woody’s Smoke Shack…and yes, Jethro’s.

[DMRyan]

We're straying from the real topic here (the possible sexual frustrations of the OP ), but Smokey D's burnt ends are the best I've ever had, including numerious places in Texas and KC.

Give it a try.