Child Adoption is for the rich! (birth mother, cheap, African American, foster care)

[otaey1]

Yes. I’m here to vent. I want to adopt a child under the age of 5 but just can’t afford it. I called 10 adoption agencies (in & out of state) to find out the initial cost is 30,000. Average adoption cost is about 35,000.00 I’m a teacher and definitely can’t afford those fees. To make matter worse the birth mother gets no monetary reimbursement. The agency or attorney gets it all. It’s a shame I have a willing heart but $$ rules the system. Yes I have tried the foster care route. I had a new born that they told me is highly likely adoptable because the baby has also has a sibling that has been in foster care over a year. I was willing to take them both but the foster agency only gave me the baby. I took maternity leave to love, bond and take care of this sweet little baby. After 3 months I got a call saying the Judge had released the child and to have her ready within an hour to picked up by the social worker. The child was released to live in a special drug rehab program that allows its participants to bring their children. I didn’t know that type of program exited. Since then every child the foster agency has called me for is non adoptable. I just find it hard to believe that in the whole county of Los Angeles (Detroit born and raised) there is no children whose parental rights have been relinquished. Others have told me that there are many children in the system that need to be adopted but the social workers aren't able to keep up with their large caseloads to look for people who are willing to adopt the kids. So if people are wandering why many middle class African American’s like myself don’t adopt this is the reason. The system is so corrupt.

[craig11152]

I see your point. I don't have a solution.

[mgkeith]

What state do you currently live in? You mentioned something about Los Angeles? You might want to post in the Parenting (Adoption) forum.

[otaey1]

I live in LA but I'm originally from Detroit. I appreciate hearing my Detroiters perspective on situations. I just want people to be aware of how a system can price pointe you out and make it appear different.

[Jomz]

Try adopting internationally? Adopting from a Third world country like India/ Bangladesh is less than $5000.

[Coldjensens]

We had some friends who tried to adopt, they paid $20,000 went through the entire process. They day they were supposed to fly out to pick up their new son, someone discovered the kid had some native american blood and he could not be adopted without approval from the tribe he never knew he was related to (nor did his parent apparently). The tribe said no. Goodbye $20,000.

They tried again with another $20,000. I do not recall what happened but it also fell apart at the last minute.

Then they decided to adopt outside the USA. However that turned out to be a scam and they lost some more moeny.

Finally they gave up. Never did adopt. Great couple, very well off. Could have provided a wonderful home for a kid. Couldn't make it happen. They ended up losing about $50,000 and years of their time trying to make it happen.

[huckster]

Hard to believe. It is difficult that with all of the poverty and misery there is in this world, does not there
exist one child, that needs you? How on earth is this true, does this happen?

I have heard tell, that is I read in Time magazine years ago- perhaps ten, that there are many children, orphans, that live untethered in the streets of Brazil. Wild , like vermin. I know a horrible simile, but
that is exactly how the article read, brutal. Cops shoot these street urchins, there are so many, "just to clear the streets". I don't see how they could do this, but they do.
Ever seen the video by Michael Jackson called "All I really know is -They don't really care about us."? Like that. That is in , if I am not mistaken San Paolo , Brazil. I recognized the iconic Christ Statue on the Mountaintop of that city.
It is true, run it through the google search engine. The U.N. was the accuser of Brazil's military police. This has been going on for many years as I first read of this practice perhaps 15 yrs ago.
The abundance of the U.S., so prodigious that we don't realize here just how much and take for granted, is only here.

[keraT]

I don't understand why they make Adoption so expensive. I understand the need to extreme vet adoptee because you are putting a baby in their care & agree on regular monitor for few years. But why make it difficult. There are lot of kids in need.


I am sorry I don't have solution. Only thing I can suggest is try international adoption but go with agency others have used so it is not a scam.

[Nattering Heights]

That's bureaucracy. Give it a few more years to die. Neighbors dying of flu, malnutrition, wars, etc. will provide plenty of local orphans.

[MLSFan]

if you can't afford adoption fees, it would be hard raising a kid... they aren't cheap either