need impartial advice, please (Detroit: real estate market, houses, find a job)

[dadtotwo]

I came across this board while searching for some information and it seems like it is very helpful. I am in need of some impartial advice and I'm thinking this may be a place to get it. If you don't mind reading my story and posting your thoughts I would really appreciate it.

I'm going to make a long story short...

My wife and I grew up in Michigan, around the Detroit area. About 10 years ago (as adults) we moved away to Florida. We really like Florida and the lifestyle here.

However, we have had two kids since then. They are ages 2 and 4. We have no family that live down here, everyone is in Michigan. They only get to see family members once a year, sometimes twice. It's hard. Our oldest cries when grandma goes home and she asks frequently if we can go see grandma, cousins, etc. Yet they live far away.

Our mind keeps telling us that we should take our kids back to Michigan and raise then around family so they have the opportunity to build relationships with them. We are on the fence, not sure what to do. We think that raising them near family is likely better. Yet we have some concerns, such as the economy and snow.

My wife works at home, so she can take her employment with her wherever she goes. But I can't do that and fear I'd have a hard time finding a decent job, or trying to build some kind of home business.

So... basically I am wondering: do we overcome the fears and raise kids by family so they can partake in holidays, birthdays, get-togethers, etc. Or do we stay put and raise them away from people and possibly regret that when they are older they don't feel any close bonds to the extended family?

Thank you in advance for your thoughts. I appreciate it. My horoscope yesterday said to find some impartial advice. So I'm hoping this is it.

[jeanniepep]

It would be great if your kids could be closer to family, but in all honestly, I would not move unless you ALREADY have a job lined up. If you guys can get by on your wife's work-at-home salary, that's different. But the economy is not great here, as you've heard. It's not IMPOSSIBLE to find work but it is difficult. If you don't mind sharing, what kind of job would you be looking for? We might be better able to give you an idea of how hard it is to find work in that industry.

On the plus side, there are a lot of very inexpensive homes available in this economy! But, Florida's real estate market isn't a lot better than Michigan's so you may have some trouble selling. If selling your current home is not an issue, you'll find tons of great houses at extremely great prices in metro Detroit right now.

I know it really is tough to be so far away from family, but I fear that if you come here without work lined up, you'll be leaving again in a year, but with far less money than you started out with. In the short term, it might be better to set aside a larger travel budget so everyone can visit each other more often. It's just not very stable here right now, financially speaking.

Oh, and as far as snow, if you have concerns already then you'll probably have a hard time being back here in wintertime. The last few years seem to have gotten snowier and snowier!! There are people out there who love the winter sports and are very happy here (and what kid doesn't love a good snow day) but the rest of us crank up the heat and hide under a blanket, praying for an early spring. Personally I spend most of January thru March praying for a job opportunity in Florida! But that is just me, I like it hot! I know many people who love the changing seasons, maybe you're one of them.

Bottom line, I'm sure you and your family would be happy here, but not if you have to go bankrupt to do it. Find a job here first and make sure it's relatively stable before you uproot the wife & kids.

[Dexterguy]

I agree with Jeannie, if you already don't have a job lined up here, it will basically be impossible to find any kind of work here if you just move to metro Detroit and hope for the best.

The only thing that you could do is continue searching for a job in Michigan while still living and working in Florida, then when and if you find an opening move. But again, I would not suggest moving here and hoping for the best.

And about the weather, well, there is nothing you can do about it. It snows in Michigan. You just have to get use to it, even though it may be hard adapting after being away for so long.

Good Luck to you and your family!

[dadtotwo]

Thank you for the thoughts and advice, I appreciate it a lot!

[TNKY]

I agree with the 2 responses. Coming back to MI might be a big regret. If I can manage to get out, I won't be back. My wife and I moved back here from VA, mainly for the same reason you're thinking about leaving FL. Right now I'm kicking myself. It isn't all bad, but if you're happy in FL you are taking a big risk that upon returning you won't be here. A good job, though, first and foremost is a must and make sure the company won't be laying off everyone down the road as it's a daily thing up here.

[J&A'sMOM]

What about a compromise. Maybe research where the economy is better (MI unemp. rate now is around 14%) like Chicago and move closer within driving distance so you can see everyone more often? Although who doesn't want to go to FLA to visit!

[dadtotwo]

I agree.... when we moved here everyone said they would love to go to Florida to visit and that they would. But that hasn't been the case. We've only had a few visitors here and there. Researching Chicago is not a bad option...

[LizzySWW]

I'd stay put & visit family more often. Sometimes living near family ends up being stressful. Once the honeymoon wears off. :-)

[ladyblue09]

Your kids are still young enough that their memories from this time of their lives will be hazy anyway. I would wait at least another year or two to see if the economy gets any better before moving to Michigan for their sake.

[mogo]

All of these comments are very accurate. It really depends on the industry you work in. Finding a job here is one thing; finding a job in a stable industry -whatever that might be right now- is another. Also consider that, while the rest of the country is projected to begin rebounding next year, Detroit/Michigan is supposed to stabilize next year, but not rebound until 2013.

On the bright side, I think we're having parades for anyone moving to Michigan.