Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Diabetes
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-26-2012, 03:06 PM
 
5,616 posts, read 15,478,090 times
Reputation: 2823

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by lubby View Post
I am sorry about your sister. It's a shame because you can do something about it to get it under control. I also think many diabetic are in denial, my dad was for years. They think they don't have to check their sugar or eat right. My husbands childhood friend has Type 2 for about 10 years and he does not take care of it too well, but he admitts it, big deal . His last A1C was 13 ! He's 41 and I told him if he doesn't start taking care of himself he could end up having more complications. He eats alot of carbs, no veggies or fruit because he never liked them. Loves fried foods and red meat. He's on 3 different meds. He has lost weight in the past and his A1C had gone down to 7 but the Dr wants it to be at least 5. He never checks his sugar because he does not want to know what the numbers are which I am sure is at least 200+. He's only fooling himself.
yes its terrible. And terrible on me, my family hates me and wanted me to be the sacrifical lamb and donate my kidney for her being that I am her younger sister. Its been such a moral conflict and I hate myself for not jumping to the decision. Its been tough and I am basically the horrible person who wont run and give my organs. So it works both ways, her terrible choices and me the selfish sibling in some people's eyes. I have lost many night sleep over this and basically it almost thru me over the edge. I have accepted my choice I cant do it, Im too damn scared and still feel guilt and shame, and pressure to save her life under duress constantly. I almost wish I was sick or back on crack cocaine to be ruled out as a donor to get out of the torture. Talk about what a moral conflict is this is one of the highest and I am never at rest with knowing I could have saved a life but wont.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-26-2012, 06:24 PM
 
1,787 posts, read 5,730,008 times
Reputation: 1300
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevemorse View Post
yes its terrible. And terrible on me, my family hates me and wanted me to be the sacrifical lamb and donate my kidney for her being that I am her younger sister. Its been such a moral conflict and I hate myself for not jumping to the decision. Its been tough and I am basically the horrible person who wont run and give my organs. So it works both ways, her terrible choices and me the selfish sibling in some people's eyes. I have lost many night sleep over this and basically it almost thru me over the edge. I have accepted my choice I cant do it, Im too damn scared and still feel guilt and shame, and pressure to save her life under duress constantly. I almost wish I was sick or back on crack cocaine to be ruled out as a donor to get out of the torture. Talk about what a moral conflict is this is one of the highest and I am never at rest with knowing I could have saved a life but wont.

well my sister did not watch her blood sugar and she went blind at age 42 and now needs a kidney at age 46!!! She is now 50 and on dialysis and still not watching her blood sugar, off the kidney donor list for being out of compliance. So its a matter of choice!!
Don't beat yourself up. You may not be a match, even though you're related. You are younger and have your life ahead of you; how about an older family member? Has any one of those people offered to donate? You aren't the only option.

Look, there's no guarantee that you or anyone else can save her life with the transplant, especially since she's not taking care of herself.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2012, 03:48 AM
 
5,616 posts, read 15,478,090 times
Reputation: 2823
Quote:
Originally Posted by timneh5 View Post
Don't beat yourself up. You may not be a match, even though you're related. You are younger and have your life ahead of you; how about an older family member? Has any one of those people offered to donate? You aren't the only option.

Look, there's no guarantee that you or anyone else can save her life with the transplant, especially since she's not taking care of herself.
well there is really no older person and all her great so called friends ran when this happened. She has a daughter and a husband both are different blood types. I never got tested to even assume I was a match. I am dealing with it. It's been hard on me. I feel very guilty. I have alot of issues with her and cant let them go. Her daughter is 300 lbs at age 16 going on 17 and is lazy and eats all day long, in otherwords they are enabling the same disease and this just makes me so mad. I stay away from them. The husband is type 2 diabetic also. Its really a big food addiction. When my mother died in the funeral car the three of them discussed pork chop recipies!!! Its the same as my past with my drug addiction. I have been sober since age 28 but have gone to exerice addiction and they have food addiction. The bottom line is noone in my family really confronts the addiction /compulsion issues. I am on topamax for my addicitons with exercise and its helped. THey refuse to go see a shrink. I am in therapy and its helping me alot.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2012, 03:51 AM
 
5,616 posts, read 15,478,090 times
Reputation: 2823
Also I think now her heart is too weak for a transplant. She knocked herself off the list of kidney donors being out of compliance after being on it for a few years The bottom line is if she does not care, why should I ? Its really a messed up senerio!!! This patient is really in grave denial!!!!! ITs bad!! The food just gets shoveled in constantly. I have never seen anything like this. Its a bad addiction and they refuse to admit food is a problem!!!! I want out.

Thanks all
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2012, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,855 posts, read 65,623,921 times
Reputation: 19374
You have absolutely NO obligation to anyone, family or not, who refuses to help themselves to the extent that they can. It would be a waste of a perfectly good kidney!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2012, 01:47 PM
 
1,787 posts, read 5,730,008 times
Reputation: 1300
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
You have absolutely NO obligation to anyone, family or not, who refuses to help themselves to the extent that they can. It would be a waste of a perfectly good kidney!
Absolutely!! ...a waste of a perfectly good kidney!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2012, 03:07 PM
 
5,616 posts, read 15,478,090 times
Reputation: 2823
I know this however its really not easy when my father and family look at you like your a crappy human /sister! I mean its his daughter who is dying. I can understand how my father in one way feels and then all these stories of family members and strangers who jump foward to save the life of a complete stranger or brother/sister gets thrown in my face. Its tough. Her disease and addiction have not just affected her but everyone in the whole family. Its really messed up. I go to these Easter /Holiday functions and leave feeling terrible. Its like Im the bad seed ( that old movie).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2012, 03:09 PM
 
5,616 posts, read 15,478,090 times
Reputation: 2823
Funny I never played the victim role in my life but this situation I just feel so mad and like a victim of diabetes type 2 . I dont even have that problem I have other issues but this now has become my burden. Its a real saga.

Thanks for the support. Like I said I go to a shrink to deal with this issue and have it not throw me back to my problems.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2012, 03:13 PM
 
5,616 posts, read 15,478,090 times
Reputation: 2823
they all say you can live fine with one kidney. You can have a great life with just one organ! You go to the top of the list if YOU donate and you need a kidney. Your saving a human life. You are a hero. God will give you a place in heaven!! Ohh that really helps me alot. You know we really dont have support groups for the family members that dont want to donate their body parts. Its like the opposite side of the issue that noone wants to talk about. There are so many promoting organ donation and they all make it sound so rosey and happy. There is a whole other side that really never gets put foward. Its the side noone wants to see. Yes its the sad side of type 2 diabetes. The side that rips family apart.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-27-2012, 07:33 PM
 
1,787 posts, read 5,730,008 times
Reputation: 1300
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevemorse View Post
they all say you can live fine with one kidney. You can have a great life with just one organ! You go to the top of the list if YOU donate and you need a kidney. Your saving a human life. You are a hero. God will give you a place in heaven!! Ohh that really helps me alot. You know we really dont have support groups for the family members that dont want to donate their body parts. Its like the opposite side of the issue that noone wants to talk about. There are so many promoting organ donation and they all make it sound so rosey and happy. There is a whole other side that really never gets put foward. Its the side noone wants to see. Yes its the sad side of type 2 diabetes. The side that rips family apart.
You aren't the one with the problems; it's your family. What IF, you are a match, you donate a kidney, sister still doesn't take care of herself, and the inevitable happens. Would you feel better knowing you gave one of your organs or would you feel pi$$ed after you wasted it?

Tell the others in the family to get tested to see if they're a match. See how quick they'll be to donate. What is the reason no one else has stepped up?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Diabetes

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top