Very depressed after losing weight

[roneb]

Originally Posted by SteveDr

I get the message loud and clear that she's not attracted to me. She says that she is but talk is cheap. Actions speak loudest. If she was truly attracted to me, this would not be an issue. She is healthy and there is nothing stopping her. Hey, I know that other women find me attractive.

Anyway, this isn't really central to my main point. I really didn't want this thread to turn into a referendum on who is the crappier spouse in my household. I plan to see a doctor soon about my mood issues. And I'm keeping the diet going and feel good about it. The one day I was over my calorie goal didn't hurt me and I knew it wouldn't.

Yes, talk is cheap, but you're also supposed to be able to trust and believe what your spouse says. To me this is just more evidence that your wife may be suffering through some of her own depression issues; and that is putting the kibosh on her desire - not necessarily you. Though constantly reminding her that you are unsatisfied will only make things worse. Try the opposite approach: Romance her, woo her, PROVE to her that you not only still find her attractive, but are willing to WORK to make her happy. Women operate differently than men. Men find someone attractive and the desire instantly stems from that. It's been my experience that women not only need to find someone attractive, but also need to feel attractive themselves in order to feel desire.

But more than anything: GET MARRIAGE COUNSELING! It doesn't have to be either's fault, but it will take both of you working together for things to improve.

[Fiddlehead]

Sheesh, intense thread. I have some of the same issues as the OP. A tough situation, and I wish him the best.

I will add that my brother lost 140 pounds a few years ago, and I have noticed that he is much more serious now than I ever recalled him being before (he also had some professional challenges, wich could be related). I recall reading somewhere that severe caloric restriction can be related to depression. So, I don't think the OP is imagining things.

Anyhow, best wishes.

[tickyul]

When I was more aggressively trying to lose weight, I was netting out around 1,800 calories each day. Now, I'm content to stay where I am. Problem is, I've run the numbers on a few different online calculators and don't trust some of the numbers I'm seeing. One of the calculators said I could consume as much as 2,400 calories and maintain my present weight.


The above quote from the OP says to me he is looking very hard for a way to reestablish his old realtionship with food. Maybe not in totality..........but, trying to get back to that old way of living CAN come in many forms. The way I see it here is the OP is looking for ways to have more and more involvement with FOOD.........increased calories could be a way to get there.

[tickyul]

Originally Posted by Fiddlehead

Sheesh, intense thread. I have some of the same issues as the OP. A tough situation, and I wish him the best.

I will add that my brother lost 140 pounds a few years ago, and I have noticed that he is much more serious now than I ever recalled him being before (he also had some professional challenges, wich could be related). I recall reading somewhere that severe caloric restriction can be related to depression. So, I don't think the OP is imagining things.

Anyhow, best wishes.

When you want to lose weight, and you are significantly overweight.....well, most of the time you have to make a big change in your relationship with food. I think for some overweight people who have a close relationship with food, that change is enough to send them into depression or worsen already existing depression.

[zelnum1]

I lost a lot of weight and I am going through days where I am depressed. I have a relationship with food and love it. I exercise 3-4 times a week and feel great! My issue is I have about 10 pounds of extra skin hanging from my body. I lost a total of 115 pounds. My breast look like they belong to a 45 year old women when I am 30 my stomach looks like I a tub of lard with high-ways for stretch marks. People tell me I look beautiful and have a great heart but for the first time in my life I actually feel unattractive and undesirable. It feels like it was not worth it on some days. This feeling makes me feel alone and also has the affect of making me anti-social. When I feel like that I put on a fake smile and socialize anyway. And it still does not make me feel any better, and on some days it makes me feel worst. On days I feel like this I beat myself up with a 3 hour extreme work out that usually drains me emotionally and physically. I decided to become healthy and have more energy for myself, so why do I feel like this still?

[RD5050]

Originally Posted by zelnum1

I lost a lot of weight and I am going through days where I am depressed. I have a relationship with food and love it. I exercise 3-4 times a week and feel great! My issue is I have about 10 pounds of extra skin hanging from my body. I lost a total of 115 pounds. My breast look like they belong to a 45 year old women when I am 30 my stomach looks like I a tub of lard with high-ways for stretch marks. People tell me I look beautiful and have a great heart but for the first time in my life I actually feel unattractive and undesirable. It feels like it was not worth it on some days. This feeling makes me feel alone and also has the affect of making me anti-social. When I feel like that I put on a fake smile and socialize anyway. And it still does not make me feel any better, and on some days it makes me feel worst. On days I feel like this I beat myself up with a 3 hour extreme work out that usually drains me emotionally and physically. I decided to become healthy and have more energy for myself, so why do I feel like this still?

Maybe this may help:

How to tighten skin after losing weight

Or check the results of this Google Search:

What to do about sagging skin after losing weight

Also regarding your love of food ... I would say that is true of everyone on the planet. Who doesn't love food?

The key to staying healthy and keeping the weight off permanently is to eat the right kinds of foods in reasonable portions.

At this very moment I am enjoying a plate of cooked chicken breast (around 4oz) and a very large serving of cooked mixed vegetables which I purchased fresh in the produce section. The vegetables include broccoli, mushrooms, carrots, red and green bell peppers, onions, celery, and sweet potatoes.

A few years ago I would have be enjoying a giant hamburger from a fast food place like Burger King or Jack in the Box. Yes that burger was extremely tasty and filled me up ... but it also was the reason I was around 20lbs overweight and feeling sick a lot of the time. Once I decided to switch to eating only healthy foods, and permanently stopped eating fast food, I lost all of my excess weight, and began feeling much healthier than I ever did in my entire life.

I still love food, but I now focus on only eating healthy foods. So that is what I would recommend to you.

Congratulations on losing 115lbs. That is a huge achievement.

Stick to eating only healthy foods, watch your portion sizes, and keep up the daily exercise. They are the keys to living healthy.

[veuvegirl]

Excellent job in losing the weight!!!!

[Ohiogirl81]

Originally Posted by zelnum1

I lost a lot of weight and I am going through days where I am depressed. I have a relationship with food and love it. I exercise 3-4 times a week and feel great! My issue is I have about 10 pounds of extra skin hanging from my body. I lost a total of 115 pounds. My breast look like they belong to a 45 year old women when I am 30 my stomach looks like I a tub of lard with high-ways for stretch marks.

Congratulations on your weight loss!

Buy some Vitamin E oil and slather it on straight, or mix it in with your regular body lotion. Cover every inch of your body that you can reach. Be patient. It won't make you look like you're 16 again, but it will help a lot.

[Sciameriken]

Originally Posted by Fiddlehead

Sheesh, intense thread. I have some of the same issues as the OP. A tough situation, and I wish him the best.

I will add that my brother lost 140 pounds a few years ago, and I have noticed that he is much more serious now than I ever recalled him being before (he also had some professional challenges, wich could be related). I recall reading somewhere that severe caloric restriction can be related to depression. So, I don't think the OP is imagining things.

Anyhow, best wishes.

To add to this - having low vitamin D is also associated with depression - you should get your levels checked...

[stephei2000]

Originally Posted by tickyul

When you want to lose weight, and you are significantly overweight.....well, most of the time you have to make a big change in your relationship with food. I think for some overweight people who have a close relationship with food, that change is enough to send them into depression or worsen already existing depression.

But be careful with that. Sometimes it is better to keep eating than develop another health issue. Especially if the person is only 15-20lb overweight.
I stopped emotional eating last year, and then eventually had insomnia. Eating all the time keep my sleep cycle and overeating would knock me out.

Well I tried other "coping mechanisms" and my health is worse than ever after taking natural remedies to fall asleep. It backfired and now my body is in pernament withdrawal. I am oversensitivity to everything, smells, light other things.

Now, I am slightly back to normal, but guess what after all that I am still 15-20lbs overweight, but now with health problems.

In my mind, I say I wish I just kept eating instead of dealing with it! It will backfire in some people.
Generally it was not worth it because one my nerves are in withdrawal mode.
Second I am 5'11 and size 12 so it is not like I looked bad or anything, and I always worked out, played sports, so I really think it depends on the person.