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Anyone else with this struggle...
I'm hoping to learn from you.....about your experiences and thoughts on disordered eating.
My main question is about being 'legalistic' about your eating, and your thoughts on adhering PERFECTLY to a plan.
I'm not ready to say I have an eating 'disorder.' Portion control has always been a problem for me. I've always had to 'struggle to keep my weight down. I've lost weight w/ WW, OA, and on my own. The last two years I've been doing a lot of fasting. It MIGHT be fair to say I'm "preoccupied" with dieting and my weight.
When I'm ON the wagon, emotionally motivated I'm really dedicated. My eating is 'perfect.' Sometimes I slip a little...sometimes for weeks at a time.
My work shift changes...and I've got some light family stress.....I have decided I'm an emotional eater.
Well, I'm back to fasting after a month off the wagon, so to speak.
Well I usually eat pretty well...no stuff that's really bad -- no mac and cheese, not much bread, not a lot of butter, no beef, no or not much pork. I do eat out all the time. So I do get some butter or breading.
NOW.......
....here comes Thanksgiving.....Should food be considered a "treat?" I'm already thinking I'd LOVE to have some stuffing, gravy, mac and cheese, and all the veggies the holiday brings..greens, corn, spinach. sauteed veggies. I'm not MUCH of a turney person , but I'll take a pice or too, same for ham. But mostly it's the mac and cheese and stuffing I'd eat.
BUT I'm torn because I don't usually eat those things. SO..... should Thanksgiving be an eating treat. Or should I tell myself, "I COULD havet hose things ANY day I like, I'm CHOOSING NOT to have them today."
If you do that long enough, keep putting if off...you never have it. That's a good thing right?
[COLOR="rgb(139, 0, 0)"]
-- DO you see food as a TREAT or only as fuel for the body?
-- DO you ever eat things you know aren't good for you?
-- DO you think in terms of being OF or ON with you desired eating plan.
-- What tips/tricks help you make the choice to eat what you 'should' that's healthier -- instead of what you 'want?'[/color]
Basically I'm trying to decide should I eat what I WANT on Thanksgiving, or eat things I know 'are better for me.' Of COURSE a lot of this is the emotional memories associated with Thanksgiving.
I have a lot of eating "issues", too. I learned finally to accept them as part of me. I eat well/low cal a majority of the time (in my mind, I'm either being "bad" or "good" food-wise, gray area is hard for me) but also acknowledge that I'm going to binge every so often, and it's okay. Forgiving myself for it is what finally enabled me to not beat myself up about it, causing a one-day binge to turn into a 3-day binge. Now I am at a healthy weight and have been for years...but on T-Day I plan to eat every carb on the table until I'm in pain. When the pain subsides, I'll have dessert.
I marvel how after all these years I still struggle with my eating desires. I'll be 'good' for months and months, then ''bad' for a week -- EVERY. so. often....like once year I might even not make good choices (be bad) for a month straight. But I DO get back on the stick mentally, snap out of it, so to speak -- tell myself THIS is not working...you know what does work..so get back to it. I do a LOT of self talk....both good and bad.
More so even than the bad behavior -- my struggle lately has been how to stop the MENTAL back-and-forth over wanting not to slip anymore, how to figure out how to not slip anymore. Thus my Thanksgiving struggle about good and bad food choices.
For example I don't eat stuffing or mac and cheese at all it's just not part of my food choices. Soooo WHY can't I not eat those things on Thanksgiving. I don't eat them any other time. Why to I go there, give in to those choices, around Thanksgiving time. I really want to eliminate the DESIRE for those things, so they don't even tempt me any more. You could give oatmeal or olives away fro free and I'd never be tempted because I hate those foods. Why do I have to be tempted by stuffing and mac-and-cheese?
Another example is EVERY once in a while my job will treat us to pizza, well I don't eat pizza usually (but I do love it) Well if I don't buy pizza for myself or eat it normally. Why should I be tempted by it -- if it's FREE and sitting at a spread at work? I TRY to tell my self "NO pizza is not healthy. Food is just fuel for the body and that's deadly fuel." But then again of course I know that in real terms pizza twice a year isn't REALLY a factor in my weight and food issues? No really. If I eat well 80-90 percent of the time. Are bad choices 10-15 percent of the time really an issue.
That's basically part of my mental struggle.
yours and everyone else's rdflk..it's OK to fall off the wagon sometimes, main thing is you get back on.Do you make a lot of your own meals?..for me I indulge more (not always good choices) when I'm not eating at home...which isn't too often...probably why I do.
I marvel how after all these years I still struggle with my eating desires. I'll be 'good' for months and months, then ''bad' for a week -- EVERY. so. often....like once year I might even not make good choices (be bad) for a month straight. But I DO get back on the stick mentally, snap out of it, so to speak -- tell myself THIS is not working...you know what does work..so get back to it. I do a LOT of self talk....both good and bad.
More so even than the bad behavior -- my struggle lately has been how to stop the MENTAL back-and-forth over wanting not to slip anymore, how to figure out how to not slip anymore. Thus my Thanksgiving struggle about good and bad food choices.
For example I don't eat stuffing or mac and cheese at all it's just not part of my food choices. Soooo WHY can't I not eat those things on Thanksgiving. I don't eat them any other time. Why to I go there, give in to those choices, around Thanksgiving time. I really want to eliminate the DESIRE for those things, so they don't even tempt me any more. You could give oatmeal or olives away fro free and I'd never be tempted because I hate those foods. Why do I have to be tempted by stuffing and mac-and-cheese?
Another example is EVERY once in a while my job will treat us to pizza, well I don't eat pizza usually (but I do love it) Well if I don't buy pizza for myself or eat it normally. Why should I be tempted by it -- if it's FREE and sitting at a spread at work? I TRY to tell my self "NO pizza is not healthy. Food is just fuel for the body and that's deadly fuel." But then again of course I know that in real terms pizza twice a year isn't REALLY a factor in my weight and food issues? No really. If I eat well 80-90 percent of the time. Are bad choices 10-15 percent of the time really an issue.
That's basically part of my mental struggle.
IMO the key to all of is it accepting this part of yourself and letting go of the desire/need to be "normal" when it comes to food. For whatever reason, our chemistry is messed up (I personally think a lot of it came from constant dieting/overeating with my best friend starting when we were about 14) and are never going to be the person who eats 1/2 the bag of french fries then stops. The desire to binge is due a large degree due to the mental back and forth and resistance to what is, IMO.
As far as occasional binges, once in a while I need to. Especially during PMS. It really does have a medicating affect and makes me feel better now that I have learned to forgive myself for the occasional need to do this. Because I acknowledge and accept this part of me, and the part that is never going to resist unexpected things like pizza at work, that is the reason why the very next day I can go back to being "good". It is when I used to beat myself up for it that I'd find myself on a train ride I couldn't get off for days or weeks.
rdflk - The only thing bad about pizza is that it tastes so good people eat too much of it.
IIMO there is no such thing as a 'bad' food, only 'too much' food.
Except for allergies or conditions that require food restrictions, I believe diets are essentially eating disorders.
I fast lightly two days a week and eat ANYTHING and ALL I want otherwise.
I do this primarily for simplification rather than weight reduction.
I am 5'1" ~110 lbs and am not naturally hungry every day so this regimen suits me well.
YMMV
Sometimes I feel as if a "diet" is a slippery slope to disordered eating. Not for everyone, of course -- I know plenty of people who put on some weight for whatever reason, then went on a diet for awhile to lose it, lost it, and that was that. I also know plenty of people who can very easily take their diets too far, and get almost scared to eat anything beyond certain "pre-approved" foods.
The people that, I find, do the best are those who embrace a lifestyle change. Not just re-thinking their food, but their relationship to the food and also their activity levels.
That all being said, I'm sorry this is such a struggle for you. Food shouldn't be something you should have to give yourself "permission" to eat or enjoy. Enjoy Thanksgiving -- it sounds counterintuitive, but eating a light meal earlier in the day will help you to not be so ravenous for the big meal, and if you're really THAT worried about eating too much mac and cheese/stuffing, perhaps that would help you find a middle ground?
If you find yourself consistently thinking this way, maybe it's time to talk to a professional. NOT saying you have an eating disorder, but as I said above, these things can be a slippery slope and probably best to get it handled now.
I struggle with food too.
I just want to lose 10-15 lbs and then keep it off.
It's just so hard. I expect quick results so I get annoyed when I dont see result fast.
I didn't eat Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Today. Well I caved this evening and ate some stuff. I know that is why starving doesn't work.
I'm going to start back to WW. I just wanted to try to drop some pounds quickly before starting WW- I have lost some maybe it's all water weight though I hope I don't regain it.
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