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Men who would tell their wives that they're overweight don't do it because they want their wives to be healthy. They do it because of a sexual thing - they like women who look thinner, PERIOD. They want their wives to look thin so they can get more aroused. These same exact men probably don't care a rat's behind what their wives' blood count looks like, or what their gynecologist said. However, they'll fall off their chairs in a restaurant trying to see how much their wives are eating, and making damned sure it's low fat, low cal, low everything. All in the name of sex and arousal.
Now, now , you know better than this ^ being the case all the time. In some cases you are right. but there are plenty of times when the subject of someones weight is brought up because they are truly concerned for the persons health.
The whole reason I started the thread, was not to point out someone is overweight but how to encourage them to make healthy life changes.
Now, now , you know better than this ^ being the case all the time. In some cases you are right. but there are plenty of times when the subject of someones weight is brought up because they are truly concerned for the persons health.
The whole reason I started the thread, was not to point out someone is overweight but how to encourage them to make healthy life changes.
You better be in tip top shape before you suggest to anyone they need to get healthy.
If they have medical conditions (HBP, diabetes, obesity etc..) that they are choosing to ignore there's only just so much you can do.....you cant' force someone to make changes that YOU want them to make...THEY have to make those changes for themselves.
Its laughable at how ANGRY some of our posters are here over this thread.
It is ALWAYS the RIGHT THING TO DO to give suggestions to someone who is harming themselves to make changes for the better. ALWAYS!!! ESPECIALLY if it is a loved one, and doubly especially if there are children (kids) in the picture. You don't want a heart breaking scene like this to play out:
Little girl: "Daddy, why did mommy have to die?"
Dad: "She refused to do something about her health and weight so her heart just couldn't handle it"
Little girl: "Im so sad that I don't have a mommy anymore"
Dad: "I know, I just wish she listened to me"
Dad: THINKING - "We will find a new mommy soon"
Its also a joke that someone said "oh they better be in tip top shape themselves....". It doesn't matter. Often, couples who identify they need for both of them to lose weight, get in shape, have greater success because they do it together.
I think people who will get mad are the ones who are just friggin' too lazy to do anything about their fatness. Then, when the person who love(d) them gets fed up with their horrible unhealthy ways and leaves them, they all say "oh, I better join a gym" or something similar. I see a lot of women at the gym who say "Im just out of a relationship so I am trying to lose weight to get myself back in shape". What they really are saying is "I let myself get fat because I was comfortable, now that he left me for a hotter, younger girl, I better try to get rid of this fat so I can find someone again".
Now, now , you know better than this ^ being the case all the time. In some cases you are right. but there are plenty of times when the subject of someones weight is brought up because they are truly concerned for the persons health.
The whole reason I started the thread, was not to point out someone is overweight but how to encourage them to make healthy life changes.
But I made a very good point. Men tell their wives to lose weight, not because they're ever concerned about women's health (or they'd show that concern in multiple other ways). It's never about health. It's always about their sex wants.
I'm sure it's been mentioned before, but keep in mind that a good plurality of Americans do not believe that they are overweight. Furthermore, we know from research that they overestimate the amount of exercise they perform and underestimate the number of calories they eat.
Don't tell me "you don't" ! There has to be some way to bring it up and encourage / support , ask them to loose weight and get in shape without hurting their feelings. I know being pushy or rude is no way to go but somebody has had to have hit on the exact combination of timing and words to pull it off
There is no "one size fits all" answer to this question as every woman is different and will react to things differently.
However, be prepared to say it to the wrong woman and get a response that makes you look like you have egg all over your face. If it were me, I might say something like "I am in shape. Round IS a shape."
Its laughable at how ANGRY some of our posters are here over this thread.
It is ALWAYS the RIGHT THING TO DO to give suggestions to someone who is harming themselves to make changes for the better. ALWAYS!!! ESPECIALLY if it is a loved one, and doubly especially if there are children (kids) in the picture. You don't want a heart breaking scene like this to play out:
Little girl: "Daddy, why did mommy have to die?"
Dad: "She refused to do something about her health and weight so her heart just couldn't handle it"
Little girl: "Im so sad that I don't have a mommy anymore"
Dad: "I know, I just wish she listened to me"
Dad: THINKING - "We will find a new mommy soon"
Its also a joke that someone said "oh they better be in tip top shape themselves....". It doesn't matter. Often, couples who identify they need for both of them to lose weight, get in shape, have greater success because they do it together.
Oh,
I think people who will get mad are the ones who are just friggin' too lazy to do anything about their fatness. Then, when the person who love(d) them gets fed up with their horrible unhealthy ways and leaves them, they all say "oh, I better join a gym" or something similar. I see a lot of women at the gym who say "Im just out of a relationship so I am trying to lose weight to get myself back in shape". What they really are saying is "I let myself get fat because I was comfortable, now that he left me for a hotter, younger girl, I better try to get rid of this fat so I can find someone again".
It's a choice. It all boils down to whether or not someone wants to change their lifestyle and get healthy or not. No one can force them...no one. It's a personal choice and it's always been a personal choice.
If mommy drops dead of a heart attack because she ignored her health, that's her fault and only her fault.
Are you in shape?
If not, suggest that you both try to get into shape together. Or say that you would love it if she would participate in the journey with you.
If you are in shape, ask her to join you at the gym. tell her you think it would bring you closer together. Tell her you'd like it if she would join you every other day, and think of it as a date.
Assuming this is a partner or SO.
I think this is great advice.
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