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The OP can decide whether or not to take my advice - that's on her. But my advice was given in a kind hearted manner with good intentions. You may not agree with it but I can't see how this snarkiness of yours is helping the OP in any way.
Last edited by elnina; 10-28-2014 at 12:37 PM..
Reason: Please.....
[Mod cut: orphaned] ... this is so much like the TLC shows -dont know what it's called. Every time the person continues to put on weight until they can't get out of bed and have to be bathed and toileted in their beds! Does your sister want to be changing diapers/bedpans for her mom? Is she strong enough to lift/roll your mom when she can no longer move? Will she be homebound because she has to stay by mom's side 24/7? That is a scary thought.
the Dr. on the show always says to STOP enabling the person. Stop buying the food. She will need to be ready to help herself, but without assistance from family in getting all of the food, she may slow down on her eating and realize she needs help.
I feel bad for the younger sister at home. What will she do when it is her turn to go to college? Not go because she has to be a caregiver? It is not fair to her.
I would only suggest she get the help she needs before it is too late.
[Mod cut: orphaned] ... but this is so much like the TLC shows -dont know what it's called. Every time the person continues to put on weight until they can't get out of bed and have to be bathed and toileted in their beds! Does your sister want to be changing diapers/bedpans for her mom? Is she strong enough to lift/roll your mom when she can no longer move? Will she be homebound because she has to stay by mom's side 24/7? That is a scary thought.
the Dr. on the show always says to STOP enabling the person. Stop buying the food. She will need to be ready to help herself, but without assistance from family in getting all of the food, she may slow down on her eating and realize she needs help.
I feel bad for the younger sister at home. What will she do when it is her turn to go to college? Not go because she has to be a caregiver? It is not fair to her.
I would only suggest she get the help she needs before it is too late.
Yep, I thought about that show, too. It's called My 600-Pound Life. The OP could watch that if she wants a preview of her sister's future caring for her mom. I find the show very interesting, personally. Most of the people on the show are pretty successful, some (Penny) are not. They definitely have a lot to overcome, but it is possible.
The original season followed people for 7 years. Melissa's episodes (there are 2 parts for each person) are really inspiring, I think. The extended time period really shows her struggles and successes.
Your mom is so young and I totally understand why you want to her to loose weight and get healthy. I have struggled with my weight my whole life, highest weight for me 225 and I am 5'4" 43 years old. Lost 57 lbs. but I put back 20. Been trying my best to keep it off and not get back to 225 pound and it's not easy. I also work at Subway and I think that may have contributed to the weight gain over the last year. I started WW in 2011. I still stick with it but at times I fall off the wagon. My dad also died in 2004. He was always obese up until the last 2 years of his life. When we were kids he weight almost 500 pounds. My mom tried every diet for him, he did shakes, think thin, WW you name it. But the reality of it all is your mom has to be willing to change her lifestyle. Your sister is an enabler too by buying her foods. It's probably easier for her to just comply with your mom's request rather than argue. I know this from my husband. He too is obese about 350 lbs. He was at 410 in 2012 but lost 100 lbs. after he had a bad bought with diverticulitis. Has your mom been to a doctor? I am curious if she has diabetes, High BP or high cholesterol. I know my husband ended up getting type 2 diabetes but thankfully after loosing the 100 pound he is off pills. He does have a slow thyroid and your mom should have that checked too. My Aunt is very obese as well and because of this she has had spine surgery, neck surgery, hip replacement and lymphedema in her legs. She had lost over 100 pounds but has sagging skin and is confine to a scooter and has to use a walker. My uncle bathes her etc... She's 72.I think an intervention is a must plus counseling. Has she considered weight loss surgery?? I feel for you and wish you luck and hope your mom can make a fresh start to getting healthier.
I feel sorry for you and your Mom. I hope she can find her way. She is comforting herself with food. Something has to change now if your Mom is going to have a future with a decent quality of life.
She needs counseling/psychiatric help immediately. And general medical help as well. Plus it is extremely unlikely she will ever be able to get to a relatively normal weight and stay there after weighing 600lbs. So she needs some type of Weight Loss Surgery as well. Probably the Duodenal Switch. If she is resistant to surgical intervention her next best choice is Optifast or Medifast. She needs to get enough weight off fast to become motivated to lose the rest. She needs to be able to see and feel the difference.
No matter what she decides to do, there has to be a drastic lifestyle change. And she has to drive that change. You and your sister could throw out the junk and replace it with better options but as soon as she becomes able to drive again she can and will go to the store. And as soon as you go back to school she will start begging your sister to feed her. She has to want to change. You can't do it for her. Your sister needs help too so she will stop being an enabler.
This is a long sad road to walk. The quickest way out is surgery along with psychiatric help. She probably needs antidepressants as well. I would guess she feels like her life is over and she has no control over anything except what she chooses to eat. She needs to figure out there is still hope. And food is not her friend.
Maybe the best intervention would be to give her this thread. Best of luck to your family!
It's hard to explain how you feel when you're really, really fat. You become preoccupied with making sure you'll fit into places you go...does the restaurant have booths or chairs, are the fitting rooms too small, what if someone's in the handicap stall or (even worse) there is no handicap stall? Will you fit into the chair at the doctor's office? What about the examining table, will it hold you? Somebody mentioned her mother dying of female cancer because she was too embarrassed to get pap smears...when you are really obese, you are much more likely to get female cancer and at the same time, it's much more difficult to have a pelvic exam (did you know there's a plus-size speculum?)
At the beginning of this year I weighed more than 400 lbs. I couldn't stand up for more than a few minutes. I couldn't walk very far unless I was holding on to something like a shopping cart, and even then I couldn't make it halfway across the store without having to sit down. I'd put off going to the doctor for years, until I started bleeding out and had to go to the hospital. Then I found out I had precancerous changes in my uterus, high blood pressure and diabetes. I changed the way I ate right away and started losing weight. I think I lost 30 lbs the first month. Then I had to have surgery for the uterus problems and I nearly died from the anesthesia because of my weight. That only made me more determined to stick with my new way of eating and to continue the weight loss, because I don't want to die and leave my kids without a mother. I've lost 150 lbs so far and I need to lose another 100. I'm off the meds for high blood pressure and the ones for the bleeding problem. My diabetes is very well controlled. I can walk now and I can exercise. Losing a lot of weight is a scary thing to do and it messes with your emotions...sometimes I feel disconnected from my body, other times I have crying spells that last for days. My hair is falling out. I've got lots of loose skin...my belly looks like a deflated balloon. When I'm done losing weight, I'll either have to save up for reconstructive surgery or wear Spanx for the rest of my life.
Anyhow, OP, your mom has to want to change herself before it can happen. She needs to see a doctor and find out if there are any problems like diabetes or thyroid issues that could hamper her weight loss. And then she needs to start tracking her calories. A website like My Fitness Pal or Spark People makes that easy to do. Your mom could eat 2000 calories a day and still lose weight. You can lose weight eating anything, as long as you take in less calories than your body uses in a day. But some food choices make eating less more comfortable...protein and fat take longer to digest and fill you up longer than carbs. And things with fiber, like vegetables, will make you feel full longer too. She doesn't need to exercise at this point to lose weight, so don't let her focus on the things she can't do...she can't fit on an exercise machine, a bicycle that would hold her weight would be really expensive, she can't walk very much...she doesn't need to do all of those things to lose weight. She just needs to cut back on calories. And once she's lost a little weight and is feeling more positive, she can start doing seated workouts...you can find them on youtube for free. Pretty soon the advantages of losing weight (like being able to walk and to wipe your own butt) will be enough to keep her going. Finding a group to interact with is also helpful...I belong to a 300+ group on Spark People (even though I'm not 300+ anymore, they've let me stay ) and it's really nice to have a group of people who are going through the same things.
It's hard to explain how you feel when you're really, really fat. You become preoccupied with making sure you'll fit into places you go...does the restaurant have booths or chairs, are the fitting rooms too small, what if someone's in the handicap stall or (even worse) there is no handicap stall? Will you fit into the chair at the doctor's office? What about the examining table, will it hold you? Somebody mentioned her mother dying of female cancer because she was too embarrassed to get pap smears...when you are really obese, you are much more likely to get female cancer and at the same time, it's much more difficult to have a pelvic exam (did you know there's a plus-size speculum?)
At the beginning of this year I weighed more than 400 lbs. I couldn't stand up for more than a few minutes. I couldn't walk very far unless I was holding on to something like a shopping cart, and even then I couldn't make it halfway across the store without having to sit down. I'd put off going to the doctor for years, until I started bleeding out and had to go to the hospital. Then I found out I had precancerous changes in my uterus, high blood pressure and diabetes. I changed the way I ate right away and started losing weight. I think I lost 30 lbs the first month. Then I had to have surgery for the uterus problems and I nearly died from the anesthesia because of my weight. That only made me more determined to stick with my new way of eating and to continue the weight loss, because I don't want to die and leave my kids without a mother. I've lost 150 lbs so far and I need to lose another 100. I'm off the meds for high blood pressure and the ones for the bleeding problem. My diabetes is very well controlled. I can walk now and I can exercise. Losing a lot of weight is a scary thing to do and it messes with your emotions...sometimes I feel disconnected from my body, other times I have crying spells that last for days. My hair is falling out. I've got lots of loose skin...my belly looks like a deflated balloon. When I'm done losing weight, I'll either have to save up for reconstructive surgery or wear Spanx for the rest of my life.
Anyhow, OP, your mom has to want to change herself before it can happen. She needs to see a doctor and find out if there are any problems like diabetes or thyroid issues that could hamper her weight loss. And then she needs to start tracking her calories. A website like My Fitness Pal or Spark People makes that easy to do. Your mom could eat 2000 calories a day and still lose weight. You can lose weight eating anything, as long as you take in less calories than your body uses in a day. But some food choices make eating less more comfortable...protein and fat take longer to digest and fill you up longer than carbs. And things with fiber, like vegetables, will make you feel full longer too. She doesn't need to exercise at this point to lose weight, so don't let her focus on the things she can't do...she can't fit on an exercise machine, a bicycle that would hold her weight would be really expensive, she can't walk very much...she doesn't need to do all of those things to lose weight. She just needs to cut back on calories. And once she's lost a little weight and is feeling more positive, she can start doing seated workouts...you can find them on youtube for free. Pretty soon the advantages of losing weight (like being able to walk and to wipe your own butt) will be enough to keep her going. Finding a group to interact with is also helpful...I belong to a 300+ group on Spark People (even though I'm not 300+ anymore, they've let me stay ) and it's really nice to have a group of people who are going through the same things.
It's hard to explain how you feel when you're really, really fat. You become preoccupied with making sure you'll fit into places you go...does the restaurant have booths or chairs, are the fitting rooms too small, what if someone's in the handicap stall or (even worse) there is no handicap stall? Will you fit into the chair at the doctor's office? What about the examining table, will it hold you? Somebody mentioned her mother dying of female cancer because she was too embarrassed to get pap smears...when you are really obese, you are much more likely to get female cancer and at the same time, it's much more difficult to have a pelvic exam (did you know there's a plus-size speculum?)
At the beginning of this year I weighed more than 400 lbs. I couldn't stand up for more than a few minutes. I couldn't walk very far unless I was holding on to something like a shopping cart, and even then I couldn't make it halfway across the store without having to sit down. I'd put off going to the doctor for years, until I started bleeding out and had to go to the hospital. Then I found out I had precancerous changes in my uterus, high blood pressure and diabetes. I changed the way I ate right away and started losing weight. I think I lost 30 lbs the first month. Then I had to have surgery for the uterus problems and I nearly died from the anesthesia because of my weight. That only made me more determined to stick with my new way of eating and to continue the weight loss, because I don't want to die and leave my kids without a mother. I've lost 150 lbs so far and I need to lose another 100. I'm off the meds for high blood pressure and the ones for the bleeding problem. My diabetes is very well controlled. I can walk now and I can exercise. Losing a lot of weight is a scary thing to do and it messes with your emotions...sometimes I feel disconnected from my body, other times I have crying spells that last for days. My hair is falling out. I've got lots of loose skin...my belly looks like a deflated balloon. When I'm done losing weight, I'll either have to save up for reconstructive surgery or wear Spanx for the rest of my life.
Anyhow, OP, your mom has to want to change herself before it can happen. She needs to see a doctor and find out if there are any problems like diabetes or thyroid issues that could hamper her weight loss. And then she needs to start tracking her calories. A website like My Fitness Pal or Spark People makes that easy to do. Your mom could eat 2000 calories a day and still lose weight. You can lose weight eating anything, as long as you take in less calories than your body uses in a day. But some food choices make eating less more comfortable...protein and fat take longer to digest and fill you up longer than carbs. And things with fiber, like vegetables, will make you feel full longer too. She doesn't need to exercise at this point to lose weight, so don't let her focus on the things she can't do...she can't fit on an exercise machine, a bicycle that would hold her weight would be really expensive, she can't walk very much...she doesn't need to do all of those things to lose weight. She just needs to cut back on calories. And once she's lost a little weight and is feeling more positive, she can start doing seated workouts...you can find them on youtube for free. Pretty soon the advantages of losing weight (like being able to walk and to wipe your own butt) will be enough to keep her going. Finding a group to interact with is also helpful...I belong to a 300+ group on Spark People (even though I'm not 300+ anymore, they've let me stay ) and it's really nice to have a group of people who are going through the same things.
I think it would be great if the OP showed your post to her mom. You've come a long way!
Even losing small amounts of weight can seem insurmountable (in my experience, at least), so I can only imagine what it feels like to lose more. I love the community at Spark People, too! I've found My Fitness Pal's tracker to be easier to use; in particular I love their recipe builder but nothing beats the community at Spark People, IMO.
Congrats on your success!
P.S. As to wearing spanx every day, I actually do that now. I've found some that I like and are really comfortable... I'm not sure I can go back to not wearing them. So, there are definitely worse things than spanx.
Last edited by nikitakolata; 10-29-2014 at 10:07 AM..
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) and it's really nice to have a group of people who are going through the same things.
