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Old 11-23-2014, 09:20 PM
 
10 posts, read 12,415 times
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I really am appreciating the advice so thanks. Not to be Donnie Downer here but, like I said, it's the holidays and we're week willed. For both holidays we'll be going to both parents' houses, not in the same day though. Thanksgiving day we will be at her parents, the next day we'll be at my parents, nibbling on leftovers. Christmas Eve+day will be at my parents. Day after we'll be at her parents, and I just know we'll start off telling each other " no eating too much" then that becomes " oh I guess a few more cookies won't hurt"
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Old 11-23-2014, 11:33 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,138 posts, read 20,301,881 times
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I think most people eat too much at Thanksgiving. But you can eat healthier on the other days and then Thanksgiving won't have as much of an impact. The thing to remember about eating healthier is that you don't have to be perfect all the time, if you eat better 80% of the time, you're still doing a lot better than you were before.

What my husband and I did before when we were trying to lose weight was to count our calories 6 days out of the week (he was eating 1600 calories, I was eating 1400) and then we would have one splurge day a week. This was before the days of smart phones so we didn't have an app for our calories, we just used a dry erase board in the kitchen, which also helped keep us accountable to each other. The thought of the splurge day kept us going all week long, even though we got used to eating less, so sometimes we didn't eat everything we'd planned for the splurge day.
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Old 11-24-2014, 06:00 AM
 
1,168 posts, read 1,041,920 times
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Yes gaining weight is a structural thing. If your overall diet is healthy one holiday isn't even going to make a dent. (Or bump rather)
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Old 11-24-2014, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,417 posts, read 23,993,009 times
Reputation: 48531
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicSinatra View Post
Sounds simple to not buy them, buts its not, we're so used to buying them it'll be heard to break. We're not big soda people anymore. Hard not to pig out especially when you're us and you're used to a certain number of calories per day. Hard to turn out pumpkin pies and Christmas cookies. Sweets are irresistible to us at least. Most nights we have dessert after dinner
Well, do you want to lose weight and eat healthier or not? Complaining that it's so haaard not binge is a copout. Yeah, the holidays are not the healthiest time of year, but it's possible to get through the next six weeks without eating all the food in sight.

Just curious, are things going well with your girlfriend, are you both self-medicating with food to avoid some difficult truths about your relationship?:
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Old 11-24-2014, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
14,556 posts, read 8,375,724 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
Just plan for those splurges and limit them. I still eat pizza and burgers every week...two slices of pizza instead of the whole pizza I used to eat, one burger instead of three. A little cup of ice cream instead of a pint, an individual size bag of potato chips instead of the entire regular size bag, that kind of thing.
This. You can't expect to stay on a diet forever. That's exactly why people gain all the weight back that they lose after a diet. And a diet shouldn't be a diet. You have to make LIFESTYLE CHANGES. It sucks, but that's the weigh (lol) it is. Otherwise, you WILL keep gaining weight. And OP, you know in your heart that it isn't healthy to be as heavy as you guys are; otherwise you wouldn't be asking us this question in the first place. Exercise five or six days a week; cardio mixed with strength training. And I'm not talking about just walking. Running, elliptical, basketball, something that really gets your heart rate up and you sweating. If you do guys do it together, you will be more likely to stick with it.

But you also have to eat clean. That is the most important part. Lean meat, lots of veggies, fruit as your healthy carbs to give you energy boosts. Stick to you high calorie junk just once a week or so, and only a little bit. Otherwise, all the work you have put in the rest of the week will be for naught. Good luck!
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Old 11-24-2014, 11:16 AM
 
Location: too far from the sea
19,607 posts, read 18,679,720 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicSinatra View Post
And with the holidays coming up, no way will we lose weight, we'll just gorge ourselves on pie and cookies, but like I said, neither one will judge because we'll both be doing it,
You sound like you like it this way. It's just fine because neither one will judge. Well, that's an excuse for disaster and you are asking for trouble down the road. Doing what you want and thinking there will be no consequences is a sign of immaturity.

You both need to see a good doctor who can recommend a dietitian to teach you how to eat right. You both deserve to have good lives, not lives of illness or early death. You are dragging each other down by enabling bad behavior in each other. Really, if you are going to stay together and you really care about each other, then go ahead and make a commitment to good health.
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Old 11-24-2014, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
17,469 posts, read 20,811,102 times
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when my mom met my dad in 1968 he was chunky by the time they were married in 1969 he was heavier.when my brother and I were in elementary school he weighed almost 500 lbs. He did not want to go to the beach, restaurants because of fear of not fitting in a booth or people staring at him etc... He became reclusive to a point except for going to work everyday. He had suits custom made for his size which were $$$, he couldn't bend over to put on his socks, tie his shoes. My mom had to do it. It even got to the point where my mom had to help my dad wipe his own butt. Is this what you want???? He did eventually loose weight (several times) the final weight loss was due to stage 4 pancreatic cancer in 2004,he went from 300 pounds to about 190 in 5 months. I am not trying to scare you but I struggle with my weight too and so does hubby. We are in our 40's. I am doing WW and went from 222 to 169. kept that off almost 2 years now I am back up to 184 which I am not happy about. It's a struggle and life style change but I am trying. When I was heavier I had health issues. Bad skin, rashes, hormone problems, heavy menstrual cycle and a D&C 4 years ago. My GYN told me if I lost weight everything would be back to normal and thankfully it is. Your girlfriend's weight can greatly affect her health, she would be considered high risk if she got pregnant. You also have to be in the right frame of mind to want to loose the weight. If your mind isn't ready then the rest of you is not ready. Start slow by having maybe drinking water everyday, cutting down the processed carbs, making your own meals instead of eating out, keeping more fruit's and vegetables in the fridge, quit drinking soda, commit to walking for 20 minutes a few days a week. Good luck. You are young and can do it.
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Old 11-25-2014, 01:50 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,275 posts, read 4,744,726 times
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OP, you sound like you are still on the fence about whether you want to put in the work required to lose weight. I understand that feeling, totally. It might help for you and your gf to put together a list of pros and cons to losing weight.

A few other somewhat random thoughts:

1. You don't NEED to exercise in order to lose weight. If you don't want to exercise at first (or potentially ever), then don't. Diet is more important than exercise in weight loss. Exercise has many benefits such as improved mood, helps reduce stress, etc., but it's not necessary, especially right away.

2. I would focus on adding good things over removing bad ones. Don't worry about never having another Oreo, instead, tell yourself you can't have them until you've had your 7 servings of fruit and vegetables for the day. By the time you've done that, you may not even want the Oreos.

3. Altering your shopping habits is easier than altering your eating habits. Never shop for food when you're hungry. If you say no in the grocery store you only have to say no once. After you've bought the food, you have to say no over and over while knowing it's easily within reach.

4. In my experience, reducing sugar is a good first step toward weight loss. Desserts that are low in sugar are pretty easy. I love berries and whipped cream, for example. I make the whipped cream at home and use stevia to sweeten it instead of sugar. It's easy and at least the berries have some nutrition.

5. Change one thing at a time. It sounds like you guys would jump in and say you'll eat totally healthy and start exercising all at once. Honestly, that much change at one time is a recipe for disaster. Just make one change at a time (healthy desserts, for example). It's much less overwhelming and you're still doing something good for yourself.

At the end of the day eating badly only hurts you. It pays to take care of your health and develop healthy habits. I think it's worth the effort, especially when you consider the long term costs of being unhealthy. Right now this seems like it's all about weight, but really, it is about health.
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Old 11-25-2014, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Washington
479 posts, read 1,856,648 times
Reputation: 251
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikitakolata View Post
OP, you sound like you are still on the fence about whether you want to put in the work required to lose weight. I understand that feeling, totally. It might help for you and your gf to put together a list of pros and cons to losing weight.

A few other somewhat random thoughts:

1. You don't NEED to exercise in order to lose weight. If you don't want to exercise at first (or potentially ever), then don't. Diet is more important than exercise in weight loss. Exercise has many benefits such as improved mood, helps reduce stress, etc., but it's not necessary, especially right away.

2. I would focus on adding good things over removing bad ones. Don't worry about never having another Oreo, instead, tell yourself you can't have them until you've had your 7 servings of fruit and vegetables for the day. By the time you've done that, you may not even want the Oreos.

3. Altering your shopping habits is easier than altering your eating habits. Never shop for food when you're hungry. If you say no in the grocery store you only have to say no once. After you've bought the food, you have to say no over and over while knowing it's easily within reach.

4. In my experience, reducing sugar is a good first step toward weight loss. Desserts that are low in sugar are pretty easy. I love berries and whipped cream, for example. I make the whipped cream at home and use stevia to sweeten it instead of sugar. It's easy and at least the berries have some nutrition.

5. Change one thing at a time. It sounds like you guys would jump in and say you'll eat totally healthy and start exercising all at once. Honestly, that much change at one time is a recipe for disaster. Just make one change at a time (healthy desserts, for example). It's much less overwhelming and you're still doing something good for yourself.

At the end of the day eating badly only hurts you. It pays to take care of your health and develop healthy habits. I think it's worth the effort, especially when you consider the long term costs of being unhealthy. Right now this seems like it's all about weight, but really, it is about health.
I completely agree; this is really good advice!
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Old 11-30-2014, 07:48 AM
 
1,724 posts, read 2,254,418 times
Reputation: 2637
Quote:
Originally Posted by LogicSinatra View Post
We're already having difficulties climbing up stairs, finding clothes to fit, constantly buying bigger clothes.
Trouble climbing stairs should be a wake up call at your age.

Do you want to have to park in handicap parking spaces by the time you are 50?

Impotent because of all the meds you are taking?

Diabetic?

This is entirely your choice.

A serious exercise program would be a good start. Do you enjoy cycling or walking or swimming?

Do it whether or not she joins you and hope that she does.

Best of luck to the new you!

Don in Austin
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