Why "fat shaming" is good for your health (clinic, depression)
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Anorexia is an eating disorder. Obese people now join 'fat pride' groups, so clearly don't agree with your view that they have a disorder, disease, or are harming themselves.
News flash: People with anorexia don't want to change either. The fact that someone doesn't accept that they have an eating disorder doesn't mean they don't have one. Did it ever occur to you that justifying the destructive behavior might be another symptom of the disorder? Or does that just step on your desire to keep disgusting yourself over people you don't find attractive?
The Mayo Clinic and other reputable medical sources agree that :
"Obesity can sometimes be traced to a medical cause, such as Prader-Willi syndrome, Cushing's syndrome, and other diseases and conditions. However, these disorders are rare and, in general, the principal causes of obesity are: Inactivity and Unhealthy diet and eating habits."
It would never enter my mind to 'fat-shame' anyone. Mean, counter-productive, risky to the shamer, and basically none of my business. otoh, it's far more likely than not that the obese person overeats and doesn't exercise than suffers from a medical condition.
Non-sequitor. If I were arguing against this claim this post would make sense. As it stands it's a response to an argument I've not made. I actually agree with the notion that most people who are overweight are so due to their own lifestyle and decisions. I also know enough "exceptions" to suspect the degree to which exceptions exist is under-stated. Either that or I just know an abnormally high number of outliers. But that's not really relevant to this thread either. My point was not to argue stats, but to state that with any given person who is overweight, one does not necessarily know. You'd not know looking at my wife that she has a thyroid condition. You may rush to a conclusion it's her lifestyle choices that led her to her current weight. What you'd also not know is that she'd probably be able to utterly humiliate you in the gym/weight room and run circles around you in terms of her knowledge of proper dietary habits.
OMG I was just going to post this exact same comment.
I'll bet you 99% of the "fat shamers" would tell an anorexic she looks great.
I'm watching a program on HBO called "Thin". It's about a clinic in Florida for people who struggle with eating disorders, mostly anorexia and bulimia. The irony is many of these women with anorexia started out as chubby girls who were put on diets at a very young age and basically "fat shamed" by friends and family. Clearly, that isn't the answer to promote healthy living.
Just the fact that there are threads on this forum and blogs on the internet attempting to justify fat shaming shows that this country has a very unhealthy attitude toward weight. There are lots of ways to promote healthy eating and exercise for anyone genuinely so concerned with obesity that they feel they need to do something about it. Fat shaming strangers is NOT one of them.
The reality is that everysingle anorexic family member will tell their loved one the truth, they are drastically and dangerously underweight. Most of the modern treatment of anorexia (and bulimia) is around supporting the patient to see realistically how dangerous their views of food are and to point out (in glaring reality) the "truth" around how underweight they are.
I don't know a SINGLE family member that wouldn't treat anorexia as the dangerous, life threatening psychiatric condition that it is. I know much about this from living with a sister who suffered with anorexia for more than 20 years.
What you don't see are loved ones making excuses for their ill family member. That's a huge distinction from the "don't ask, don't tell" approach we have to the obese. If a family member points out ways to lose weight, or even that the weight they are at is dangerous and unhealthy, they're unsupportive and "shaming".
We do not have the same stigma around family members forcing (at times against their will) treatment on anorexics. For that I'm thankful, it saved my sister's life.
Anorexia is an eating disorder. Obese people now join 'fat pride' groups, so clearly don't agree with your view that they have a disorder, disease, or are harming themselves.
If they join those groups it's probably because they are sick and tired of other people feeling they have the right to chastize them for their weight whatever the reason. That's why people who are continually picked on by those who feel smug and superior to them form these types of groups. In the case of overweight people it could include people who are overweight due to genetic factors, overeaters or a medical disorder.
When I gained 60 pounds due to having to take Prednisone, I think I would have joined a "fat pride" group had I known they existed just be in the company of other people overweight like me.
I think the "pride" part of the "fat pride" group is how they feel about themselves as people, not just as "fat" people.
The reality is that everysingle anorexic family member will tell their loved one the truth, they are drastically and dangerously underweight. Most of the modern treatment of anorexia (and bulimia) is around supporting the patient to see realistically how dangerous their views of food are and to point out (in glaring reality) the "truth" around how underweight they are.
I don't know a SINGLE family member that wouldn't treat anorexia as the dangerous, life threatening psychiatric condition that it is. I know much about this from living with a sister who suffered with anorexia for more than 20 years.
What you don't see are loved ones making excuses for their ill family member. That's a huge distinction from the "don't ask, don't tell" approach we have to the obese. If a family member points out ways to lose weight, or even that the weight they are at is dangerous and unhealthy, they're unsupportive and "shaming".
We do not have the same stigma around family members forcing (at times against their will) treatment on anorexics. For that I'm thankful, it saved my sister's life.
And if you had chosen to title your post "Encouraging a Loved One To Lose Weight", you would have prompted an entirely different conversation. Instead, you chose to promote "Fat Shaming", and the connotation behind that term is giving the public permission to shame strangers, acquaintances, friends and family members who are fat. That is a FAR CRY from family members privately seeking help for a morbidly obese loved one, and you know it.
Also, the obvious difference between anorexia and obesity is that the public already shames overweight people on a daily basis. There isn't a need for a campaign to do more public shaming. It's hardly a silent epidemic no one is aware of that needs attention brought to the cause. The weight loss industry is a $20 Billion (with a B) industry. People don't throw that kind of money at a cause no one is paying attention to.
If you truly have a loved one who suffers from anorexia, you should watch the documentary "Thin". Most of the women profiled in the film DID end up anorexic thanks to family pressure or a famly member's (usually a parent's) obsession with weight. In one scene, two of the patients were on a day pass from the treatment center and went to get tattoos. When they told the tattoo artist they were in an in-patient facility for eating disorders, his reply was to warn them not to stay because "they looked great and they don't want to be somewhere that's going to make them fat". Imagine your loved one trying to struggle with anorexia with that kind of pressure from everyone she runs into.
Incidentally, the woman he said that to later succumed to her disorder at the age of 33.
Personally, if your story is true, it doesn't make sense to me that you would be on a forum encouraging fat shaming. It's the public's obsession with being thin that causes eating disorders in the first place. You more than anyone should know how dangerous that message can be to people struggling with eating disorders.
Personally, if your story is true, it doesn't make sense to me that you would be on a forum encouraging fat shaming. It's the public's obsession with being thin that causes eating disorders in the first place. You more than anyone should know how dangerous that message can be to people struggling with eating disorders.
Eating disorders are NOT universally about pressure to be thin. That is as common to them as health conditions are to being fat - not very. Eating disorders are a complex psychiatric condition that have far more to do with control than weight. One TV show you happen to have watched from the comfort of your couch does NOT make you an expert. That's another subject but trust me, you won't educate me or my family on this issue.
As for this post - I was not "promoting fat shaming" the link was deliberately inflammatory to get discussion going, much the same way as reference to a single documentary about anorexia is.
I was curious about why commenting on the fact that people are overweight automatically earned posters the label "fat shaming".
There is no corresponding label for getting treatment for anorexics - other than "loving family member". This double standard, under the auspices of being "supportive" is curious to me.
I'm not talking about being actively unkind, I'm just wondering why (including on a number of forums on CD) any comment on the individual responsibility obese people share in their current health becomes "fat shaming".
Understanding the danger of being excessively overweight or obese is one thing. Picking on others for being overweight or obese is something else entirely. I'm sorry, but I do not think that it's OK to pick on others for their weight. I'm 5'8" and 140 pounds, so I'm exactly where I should be. Somehow, I manage to stay there without making fun of others because they weigh too much.
I'm just wondering what it is about other people that makes them think it's appropriate to make fun of others because of their weight. You don't know them, and you don't care about them. You talk about them because it makes you feel better about yourself or something, because it's very rare that a fat shamer actually cares about a random fat stranger's health.
My mom is predisposed to be fat. Y'all can say that that's impossible, but I know it isn't true. My mother has stayed small for most of my life, but she has to literally starve herself to stay that way. She has three sisters, and they are all overweight. My mom has dieted and worked out obsessively my entire life. If I had to say, I honestly think my mom is anorexic or has anorexic tendencies. She goes through stages where she walks 10 miles a day on the treadmill, then turns around and does Youtube workout videos for 2 hours a day, and she only eats like 2 boiled eggs, a can of tuna and some spinach the whole day. Even after all of that, she's not all that thin.
She has a caretaker job, which means she lives with an 86-year-old woman who has Parkinson's disease. She almost lost her job because she dieted and exercised so hard that she passed out twice...and, well, she's supposed to take care of her old lady, not the other way around. Still, she's not very thin...she's 5'0" and 120. She gets down to 105, which is always her goal weight, but she can't seem to do it without getting sick.
My mom is predisposed to be fat. Y'all can say that that's impossible, but I know it isn't true. My mother has stayed small for most of my life, but she has to literally starve herself to stay that way. She has three sisters, and they are all overweight. My mom has dieted and worked out obsessively my entire life. If I had to say, I honestly think my mom is anorexic or has anorexic tendencies. She goes through stages where she walks 10 miles a day on the treadmill, then turns around and does Youtube workout videos for 2 hours a day, and she only eats like 2 boiled eggs, a can of tuna and some spinach the whole day. Even after all of that, she's not all that thin.
She has a caretaker job, which means she lives with an 86-year-old woman who has Parkinson's disease. She almost lost her job because she dieted and exercised so hard that she passed out twice...and, well, she's supposed to take care of her old lady, not the other way around. Still, she's not very thin...she's 5'0" and 120. She gets down to 105, which is always her goal weight, but she can't seem to do it without getting sick.
There's no reason why becoming fit should make a person so weak they pass out at work.
It sounds like your mom has the will, but just doesn't know how to exercise and eat sensibly. Couldn't you steer her toward a good program?
I feel like fat shaming is the last socially accepted form of prejudice.
There are many reasons why people are fat. Some of it is within their control. Sometimes it isn't.
I have Lupus and I gained 70 lbs on prednisone...you know, the stuff I took to save my life. I am sure to everyone else I was just a poor, uneducated, lazy slob that didn't care about their health.
As a nation we are all getting fatter (hell, the whole WORLD is getting fatter). Teaching people to hate themselves and to view themselves as disgusting, worthless human beings, is not the way to solve the obesity crisis.
This is a great post.
I dont get why there is such hatred for fat people. I reserve that kind of hate for child abusers and terrorists.
Maybe we'd get a better response if we treated all with love instead of contempt and shaming.
And I hear you on the steriods. Gee, I can either get fat or go blind, so hard to choose....
And as far as exercise - everyone should exercise, regardless of weight or fitness level. I know plenty of thin ppl who do not do any exercise at all and plenty of fat ppl who do. I think the contempt at fat ppl keep some of them out of healthy activities. I'm a huge swimmer but a bunch of women I know immediately focus on the fact they cant do that becuase they would have to wear a swimsuit in front of others. That is a horrible shame and should be culturally unacceptable.
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