Who eats Potato Salad, Swiss, on a Hoagie Roll? (overweight, doctors, weight loss)
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I find that gross and disgusting. Husband made that today. HAS to have something on a Hoagie Roll every day for lunch. Two heart attacks, stents, and now a Pacemaker. Before used to say his medications would save him. Maybe not, but now Pacemaker will?
After latest hospitalization, his weight went down to 215 lbs. which he hasn't been in about 20 years. So now better work his way back up to 250 lbs. because that Pacemaker will save him, while his meds didn't?
As his skinny wife, I just don't get this food obsession. Childhood trauma? Boredom in retirement? Find an outlet other than food? Maybe I should start preparing for Widowhood at this stage. He isn't going to do anything himself about his own health except a crutch from doctors.
I find that gross and disgusting. Husband made that today. HAS to have something on a Hoagie Roll every day for lunch. Two heart attacks, stents, and now a Pacemaker. Before used to say his medications would save him. Maybe not, but now Pacemaker will?
After latest hospitalization, his weight went down to 215 lbs. which he hasn't been in about 20 years. So now better work his way back up to 250 lbs. because that Pacemaker will save him, while his meds didn't?
As his skinny wife, I just don't get this food obsession. Childhood trauma? Boredom in retirement? Find an outlet other than food? Maybe I should start preparing for Widowhood at this stage. He isn't going to do anything himself about his own health except a crutch from doctors.
Jo, are you talking about all that food on a hoagie? If so, no, I can't imagine. Even my own dad who didn't seem to care too much about what he put in his body, but he didn't have a heart issue. Maybe his alcohol did save him afterall. Was your DH always this type of eater. Sounds like he's given up.
My question is this: were you ever severely overweight or obese? I'm not talking about a few extra lbs here.
if the answer is no, then you will not understand.
I know that you mean well and you are posting out of love for your husband. You are frustrated that he is engaging in harmful behavior but right now the best thing you can do is to be supportive and encouraging when it comes to weight loss. Beating him with the proverbial hammer isn't going to work. Be happy that you have a good relationship with food. Not all people do. I've lost over 70 lbs and still don't have a healthy relationship with food. There doesn't have to be anything wrong with your life either. I had (and still have) a great life. I love my job (though it's stressful) and am married to a wonderful man and have two sweet children. I had a great childhood. You don't have to have something mentally wrong with you to not have a healthy relationship with food. Turning to food as a source of joy doesn't mean you don't find joy from other things.
If you'd look at me now, you'd see someone who is lean and muscular. What you don't know is that I am also a binge eater who is trying to recover (and may never recover). I'd love to be one of those people who viewed food as just sustenance. But I'm not and all I can do is deal with the hand that I'm dealt. AS for finding outlets other than food, that's all a part of a long process. thankfully, I have found something other than food. I lift weights. That's my hobby. But it took me months, a year to get to that point where I didn't turn to food first.
I know that it breaks your heart to see this, but you have to never give up on him and continue to try and subtly introduce healthier habits with him and encourage him to exercise. Most of all let him know that you love him and that he's desired. Sooner or later something is going to make him re-evaluate his life and see the dangerous path he's taking. I thankfully never had pressure from my husband to lose weight, even though he watched me gain lots of weight each year after I had my child. When the crap hit the fan and I started having health problems, is when I woke up and embarked on a lifelong path of losing and then maintaining weight.
He has to want to help himself or your efforts will be in vain.
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