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I am a 43 yr old single dad, who is weighing in at 382. It sucks... It hurts to wear jeans, because they dont fit right...always huffin and puffin...dont have any motivation.
I considered gastric bypass, but I have seen people die from that, and several people I personally know regained a lot of weight. plus, I dont have medical insurance. Havent been to a doctor in 4 years, as I know that he will really moan about my blood pressure, which was like 190-110 the other day. I know its unhealthy. Believe me I know...
We have a ymca up the street, and they want 800 a year for the family plan, so the gym is out...
I think the biggest problem is the diet...which there isnt one. Bags of french fries, big macs, slushes, and whatever else. I do drink diet soda, which is laughable considering what i eat with it.
I just needed to get this all out in writing someplace where I could look at it. I want to move to Tampa and start a new life down there with my son, but his mother is afraid I may die there. I think a move from the cold where i hibernate in the winter would be a bonus. Maybe there I could accomplish what I cant do here because I hate it here so much.
I am so lost, I dont know what to do anymore to lose this weight. There has to be a trick to it.
Hats off to you for being so open with your personal issue...that takes courage.
I'm guessing that you already know the fundamentals of weight loss, but you just haven't practiced the wonderful "trick" of self-control...I'm not kidding you here, most of us could say the same thing...but each of our paths to better health will be different and unique to us.
My suggestion is to join Overeaters Anonymous (free, other than a donation if you want coffee or tea). You can sit and hear others say exactly what you said over and over, until you decide you will make a change for yourself. You need a support system from somewhere - these will be strangers who will be like friends after a while. Start now so that when you move, you can join in their local group with no problem.
At some point, make another small change for yourself...whether it be not to eat fries anymore, or no more shakes, or (as Oprah does) not to eat after 7pm. I (personally) try to leave something on my plate when I'm finished - can't tell you how difficult that has been, but I practice it and I do it. My mantra is to "eat (a little) less and to move more". Slow results, but it works.
Someone told me last week his best tip is to "talk to himself" as he makes the changes. Many spend lifetimes wishing it to be different, instead of making one tiny change...making it different.
How about Subway's Jared...he only bought vege subs and diet drinks, sometimes 3x a day. Google him for his story -
Best of luck, there are alot of people in the weight-loss boat, agonizing every waking minitue, why it can't be different. It can be. I know. It takes practice. God Bless with all your plans.
I am a 43 yr old single dad, who is weighing in at 382. It sucks... It hurts to wear jeans, because they dont fit right...always huffin and puffin...dont have any motivation.
I considered gastric bypass, but I have seen people die from that, and several people I personally know regained a lot of weight. plus, I dont have medical insurance. Havent been to a doctor in 4 years, as I know that he will really moan about my blood pressure, which was like 190-110 the other day. I know its unhealthy. Believe me I know...
We have a ymca up the street, and they want 800 a year for the family plan, so the gym is out...
I think the biggest problem is the diet...which there isnt one. Bags of french fries, big macs, slushes, and whatever else. I do drink diet soda, which is laughable considering what i eat with it.
I just needed to get this all out in writing someplace where I could look at it. I want to move to Tampa and start a new life down there with my son, but his mother is afraid I may die there. I think a move from the cold where i hibernate in the winter would be a bonus. Maybe there I could accomplish what I cant do here because I hate it here so much.
I am so lost, I dont know what to do anymore to lose this weight. There has to be a trick to it.
Shawn
Good for you for taking the first step....right now you need to focus on your health for yourself and your son....
Cut your carbs out....bread, rice, tortillas, potatos....anything carb related...gone.
Drop that soda habit....diet is just as bad, if not worse than regular...no more soda....water or green tea (all natural)
cut your portion size and no more yucky food....fried, greasy...all that has to go.
this is just for now, just until you can get your health back. Once you are doing well and you are becoming more healthy you can start adding small portions back in.
Walk or jog if you can....even if it's walking mostly....walk as vigirously as you can for as long as you can.
If you do all of these things religiously you will see a huge change in a short period of time. Once some of the weight comes off you will be able to do more as far as weights and cardio to help you get down to your ideal weight.
And lastly.....go see a doctor! tell them your plan and have them give you the okay.
I commend you...best of luck to you and feel free to jump on here if you need advice....we are always happy to support you.
I am a 43 yr old single dad, who is weighing in at 382. It sucks... It hurts to wear jeans, because they dont fit right...always huffin and puffin...dont have any motivation.
I considered gastric bypass, but I have seen people die from that, and several people I personally know regained a lot of weight. plus, I dont have medical insurance. Havent been to a doctor in 4 years, as I know that he will really moan about my blood pressure, which was like 190-110 the other day. I know its unhealthy. Believe me I know...
We have a ymca up the street, and they want 800 a year for the family plan, so the gym is out...
I think the biggest problem is the diet...which there isnt one. Bags of french fries, big macs, slushes, and whatever else. I do drink diet soda, which is laughable considering what i eat with it.
I just needed to get this all out in writing someplace where I could look at it. I want to move to Tampa and start a new life down there with my son, but his mother is afraid I may die there. I think a move from the cold where i hibernate in the winter would be a bonus. Maybe there I could accomplish what I cant do here because I hate it here so much.
I am so lost, I dont know what to do anymore to lose this weight. There has to be a trick to it.
Shawn
The only trick to it is getting your brain to trigger that you have had enough and want to change your habits.
Start walking. Even if you can only walk to the next house, do it every day and go a little further every few days. Cold should not stop you. You are spending all that money on fast food. Do you realize, you could put that money towards a membership to the Y or to a healthy diet? Make it a point to go shopping once a week and buy healthy foods and then do not have money or a ebit card or whatever available to you to go to buy the junk. The junk doesn't come to you, you go to it....so don't go.
Moving and starting a new life may be good for you but don't fool yourself into thinking that you can run from your demons.
Get a journal. Start writing in it every day. Make it your outlet. Write how you're feeling and what you ate and why and how you felt afterwards. You need to find a passion. What is it? Find something you love to do and replace your bad behavior with this new good one. It can be anything: drawing, reading, writing, photography, whatever floats your boat.
svbusdriver, I'm right with you on knowing what I should do but not doing it. Cravings and headaches get so bad sometimes that I can't even think. So I decided to change slowly instead of quitting all my bad habits cold turkey.
First I switched to diet, caffeine free soda instead of regular coke. Still got my sugar and caffeine from snacks but smaller amount. Let me wean off a little easier. Now I'm working on swapping my snacks for healthier ones and making better food choices. Sunday night I wanted chips & dip while watching tv - ended up eating carrot sticks. Probably ate more than I should have but it's a start. For lunch I've been trying beef vegetable soup with a small roll. Better than cheeseburgers or hot dogs. Dinner last night was grilled fish and raw carrots but I had baked potato with little bit of butter & sour cream.
Once I get more comfortable with these changes, I'll change to even healthier eating options like limiting butter, breads, potatoes/rice. So far I don't feel deprived and I've lost 4 lbs in a week. It is more expensive to healthy IMO. It's also requires more planning.
I just needed to get this all out in writing someplace where I could look at it. I want to move to Tampa and start a new life down there with my son, but his mother is afraid I may die there. I think a move from the cold where i hibernate in the winter would be a bonus. Maybe there I could accomplish what I cant do here because I hate it here so much.
I've moved several times and before the move I used to fantasize about how different my life would be in a new location. I think many people do the same as moving can be exciting. However, I've found one fact to be true; the place you live may change but that doesn't mean you will change. Think about it, you are carrying all your positive and negative attributes with you. If a healthy life style is not part of your life where you currently live, you will find plenty of excuses to not make it a part of your life in the new location. For one, FL summers are sweltering hot and that could easily become your new excuse for not exercising. It's great to have dreams and I'm not telling you not to move (FL weather outside of the summer is generally very nice). But, don't put off taking care of your health until you make the move. Start now.
The tone of your post sounds like you are not committed yet to your health and that you are still making excuses to put off becoming healthy. I don't mean to sound harsh; my intent is to be truthful. Mentally, I've been where you are not too long ago. I had 40 pounds to lose and finally stopped making excuses as to why I couldn't lose weight and just started exercising and eating right. I'm down 30 lbs now in 5 months with 10 lbs to go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by svbusdriver
I am so lost, I dont know what to do anymore to lose this weight. There has to be a trick to it.
There are no tricks or magic diet pills that will help you to lose weight long-term. The keys are healthy eating and exercise, gradual lifestyle changes and a positive outlook. As others have mentioned, start slowly. Throw the word diet out the window; you need to develop a new lifetime eating plan to be successful. Switch to clean eating. By that I mean, eat only whole unprocessed natural foods. Before you begin, make sure you research and understand clean eating. The first week you should probably try to cut the unhealthiest foods in your diet (fried foods, sodas, etc.) and try to add more fresh fruits and veggies. The next week you could cut out more unhealthy foods and look at switching to whole grain foods. The following week, you could look at your meat consumption and switch to lean meats. You get the idea. Also, you might want to consider supplementing your diet with vitamins right now as I doubt you are getting the nutrients that you need to be and feel healthy. A good multivitamin is the place to start.
As far as exercise goes, perhaps your goal should be to work up to walking one mile in 15 minutes. You may not complete that goal at first but your first step out the front door is your first step to reaching that goal. Eventually you'll be walking further than you thought possible and you might look at running and adding strength training. I'll admit, that first step can be hard. You probably don't feel very energetic right now due to your weight and eating habits. But I promise, after a few weeks of eating clean and exercising you will begin to feel energetic and your goals will become greater.
There is a wealth of free information on the internet to get you started. You can find eating and exercise plans to help you. Good luck!
Just like with any other addiction, admitting you have a problem is the first step - so good for you! I used to weigh 250 lbs (and I'm a woman), so I fully understand your frustration and pain... I loved people who'd say "why don't you jog 5 miles a day, and the weight will come off?" not realizing how difficult that would be for a large person, especially for myself with bad knees. The "trick" is to start SLOW, doing little things that you can manage now. For instance, I started out by walking with my dog every day, increasing the distance each time... at first we'd only make it about 1/2 mile, and within a few months we were easily clearing 3 miles! I got a talking pedometer to walk with, and found that gave me some extra motivation to keep going.
You can also use this technique with your eating habits, by cutting out one bad food at a time. The first thing I cut out was fast food, followed by anything deep fried, then red meat, and eventually got on a fairly healthy diet. It's much easier to change things gradually, and now I can't even imagine eating how I used to... the thought of McDonald's no longer tempts me, in fact it makes me ill. I also don't fully deprive myself, since for most of us that's impossible to maintain long-term. I allow myself certain treats, like cookies, but just have to control how MUCH I eat and how often. Anyway, this was just my process, so I can't promise it will work for you - but hopefully this helps a little, and I wish you the best of luck. Don't give up!!
Last edited by gizmo980; 08-19-2008 at 03:38 PM..
Reason: Spelling
Do what Gizmo suggested--make one small change at a time. Start walking a little bit, but make yourself go every day--no exceptions. Work up slowly to walking 45 mins. to an hour a day. Give up one of the sources of calories--fast food would be a wonderful thing to give up, but if that's too much, start out by giving up all drinks but water. Every time you don't have a soda or a diet soda, drop $1 in a coffee can to go toward new walking shoes or a basketball or something fun to do. When you stop missing soft drinks, give up something else. Or, if that seems too hard--add something healthy. Drink a big glass of water before every meal. Make a salad (easy on the dressing) and eat it before the rest of your dinner.
If you can just get started, you'll start feeling so good you'll never want to go back.
Good luck to you!
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I used to weigh 250 lbs (and I'm a woman), so I fully understand your frustration and pain... I loved people who'd say "why don't you jog 5 miles a day, and the weight will come off?" not realizing how difficult that would be for a large person, especially for myself with bad knees. The "trick" is to start SLOW, doing little things that you can manage now. For instance, I started out by walking with my dog every day, increasing the distance each time... at first we'd only make it about 1/2 mile, and within a few months we were easily clearing 3 miles! I got a talking pedometer to walk with, and found that gave me some extra motivation to keep going.
I also don't fully deprive myself, since for most of us that's impossible to maintain long-term. I allow myself certain treats, like cookies, but just have to control how MUCH I eat and how often. Anyway, this was just my process, so I can't promise it will work for you - but hopefully this helps a little, and I wish you the best of luck. Don't give up!!
