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Old 06-26-2010, 02:34 PM
 
140 posts, read 255,638 times
Reputation: 231
I hate to say it but the dog owner was totally irresponsible. I have always been either a cocker or poodle owner and while most of my dogs were child friendly and some even exuberant I NEVER initially let the dog run free when persons entered my home. Some people just don't like dogs or are afraid of them. Even though I am an avid dog lover I understand that not everybody shares my love so I will generally not have the dogs around and will even have them at a relative's house when I am expecting company.

I have never been comfortable with unsupervised visitations between dogs and small children no matter how friendly the dogs have been. Most of my dogs LOVED toddlers and babies because of their short stature and the fact that the kids saw the dogs antics as "cute" and funny but still no unsupervised contact. No matter how friendly you never know what will set a dog off or if a child will pull an ear or tail that will cause an animal to bite. Also given the child's small size a relatively minor injury to an adult could be serious to a child.

As a pet lover/owner you just have to be considerate. Restrain your pets initially because not everyone shares your love and please NO unsupervised contact between pet and small child. Better to be on the safe side than risk injury to a child.

 
Old 06-26-2010, 02:44 PM
 
2,728 posts, read 2,592,330 times
Reputation: 1905
Quote:
Originally Posted by zitsky View Post
I know you are asking about how to deal with the dog. However, since this was a gift for your husband's coworker's wife, was it necessary to go to a stranger's house? Was it possible for your husband to give it to him at the office? I know you were just trying to do him a favor.
I am not sure where you get the idea that we were complete strangers. We have met before at company functions even if these were only twice a year. The idea was for her daughter and my daughter to play for a bit and for her to have company. She didn't have a baby shower.
 
Old 06-27-2010, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
1,928 posts, read 2,434,209 times
Reputation: 1723
Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
I am not sure where you get the idea that we were complete strangers. We have met before at company functions even if these were only twice a year. The idea was for her daughter and my daughter to play for a bit and for her to have company. She didn't have a baby shower.
I just re-read your original post carefully. I still might have missed something. You mention this:

Quote:
It turned out, their little girl opened the door. The mother told her "don't ever open the door for strangers" and then said "we would never have a dog that would harm our kids." I responded, "But your dog doesn't know who we are." I stayed calm and did what I went there to do.
Now, saying that their dog doesn't know you isn't the same thing as the adults not knowing each other. I would assume that your husband knows his coworker, but I don't take that to mean that you know the wife. When you are describing the event, you use words like "the mother" and "the little girl", not for example, "little Sally opened the door" or "Susan yelled out to her daughter, don't let the dog out!". What I got out of your post was that you were there to drop off a present. I didn't get any hint that you knew each other.
 
Old 06-28-2010, 12:01 PM
 
4,776 posts, read 7,690,509 times
Reputation: 3090
Thinking about it, all our friends are dog owners/animal lovers. I've never had this issue before, other than with small children being afraid of dogs. If I know a young child is coming to our house, I will restrain our dogs. I can understand how a dog would dart out the door with a young child, our dogs would do that. But they were trained to stay home, not roam. There is no traffic on my little cul-de-sac. We also train our dogs not to jump up on people. This is my home, and our dogs are part of our family. If someone doesn't want our dogs greeting them at the door, well, they can get back in their car and be on their way. Naturally I will do my best to restrain them if they are bothersome, but I don't feel the need for any further action. Bottom line, if someone has a fear of dogs, and they are going to someone else's home, I think it's their responsibility to inform the homeowner in advance. I am not going to tie up my dogs or hide them in a bedroom every time a random stranger or casual acquaintance rings our doorbell. If someone is offended by my dogs, I wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway.

Last edited by andthentherewere3; 06-28-2010 at 12:10 PM..
 
Old 06-28-2010, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, Alaska
17,585 posts, read 11,192,994 times
Reputation: 6198
My dogs have free run of my home, strangers do not. If a stranger were to enter my home uninvited, I can pretty much assure them that my dogs would attack them viciously, whether I am home or not. That is the job of my dogs, to protect my home from uninvited strangers.

I do not answer my door when unannounced visitors stop by. If they do not have the common courtesy to call and ask my permission before showing up on my property, then they are trespassing.

I would like to know where the OP gets off telling people how other people's dogs should behave when on other people's property. Did the OP suddenly forget that she was the stranger, trespassing on someone else's property? Or does she think she has the authority to tell others they are not entitled to protect their property, or protect it only in the manner the OP considers acceptable? The OP needs to get some perspective and a grip on reality. A continuation of this self-imposing behavior by the OP is going to get her into a great deal of trouble in the future.
 
Old 06-28-2010, 05:09 PM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
7,661 posts, read 8,682,925 times
Reputation: 6490
ACTUALLY, i had the impression that the homeowner was expecting the OP and her daughter........
 
Old 06-28-2010, 05:31 PM
 
Location: Middle America
17,380 posts, read 14,527,271 times
Reputation: 20225
My dog is not a stereotypically intimidating breed, he's a medium-sized beagle mix, and an affable, friendly dog. But when somebody comes up on our porch who is not myself or my SO, the leaping at the door and the standard beagle baying will begin. He especially freaks out at the mailman and his apparently terrifying pith helmet. He's a rescue who came to us with more than a few bad habits that have taken a while to do damage control for, so I don't know if it's an ingrained territorialism, or if he was taught somewhere along the line to guard the front door like a ferocious guard dog three times his size. And once the person is "okayed" by us, he's instantly calm and frolicking and rolling at the person's feet, anticipating head and belly scratches. It's just that initial "Who are you, I don't know who you are, and I don't know if my people know who you are" thing, then he's over it.

BUT, even though most people, those who fear dogs in general excepted, would NOT find him to be a fearsome or intimidating animal, I ferociously howling dog who is launching himself at the door when you are standing on the porch is offputting. We had a substitute mail carrier who needed a signature for a certified letter once, and he admitted that based on the racket Willie was making, he was astonished to see, when I opened the door, that he's a little Snoopy dog. He was expecting the Hound of the Baskervilles. A dog that's responding with what could be plain old excitement, but also could be panic or aggression scares people who come to the door and who don't know your dog and his or her temperament. Because of this, I always hold Willie when I answer the door, or motion through the window that I'll be right back, and go confine his spazzy self to another part of the house so I can open the door. Willie also doesn't go outside offleash, or he'd be gone in a heartbeat chasing game, so that's another reason for not letting my dog greet anybody at the door; they might inadvertently let him out.
 
Old 06-28-2010, 07:33 PM
 
2,728 posts, read 2,592,330 times
Reputation: 1905
Here is where I clarified that we were expected. What I don't normally do is ask if there is a dog in the house. That is why I was thinking it might be good to ask if there is a dog in the house before I get to the house. Duh, I know but I never did this before. Like I said before, I went to A woman's house, not the same woman in the OP, several times before I realized she had a dog in her house. I never expected her to lock him up. And other people told me they had dogs but I never saw them when visiting on playdates. I am not giving you their names.

Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
I see now that some people are willing to shoot an expected guest at an expected time who .....
Quote:
Originally Posted by zitsky View Post
I just re-read your original post carefully. I still might have missed something. You mention this:


Now, saying that their dog doesn't know you isn't the same thing as the adults not knowing each other. I would assume that your husband knows his coworker, but I don't take that to mean that you know the wife. When you are describing the event, you use words like "the mother" and "the little girl", not for example, "little Sally opened the door" or "Susan yelled out to her daughter, don't let the dog out!". What I got out of your post was that you were there to drop off a present. I didn't get any hint that you knew each other.
We have met both adults but only at company functions. I never met the daughter. Since my pregnancy we did not go out for at least 1.5 years to any kind of company function. I try to limit my information on CD for security reasons. I never give out names; maybe you do on the pets forum. I guess I could make up names to make the reading easier. I would never show up without letting anybody know that I was coming over. There are exceptions to this: My neighbors door andthe President of my HOA because they do it to ours. They did it first.

Maybe I should have sent pictures of us in advance so her daughter would know what we looked like. Maybe the dog could also study the pictures.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glitch View Post
My dogs have free run of my home, strangers do not. If a stranger were to enter my home uninvited, I can pretty much assure them that my dogs would attack them viciously, whether I am home or not. That is the job of my dogs, to protect my home from uninvited strangers.
You need to get over yourself. You would have a case IF I showed up uninvited. I did not so you have no case. This was a town home complex so the dog probably got his foot into the other neighbor's "garden". We were not uninvited. We had a prearranged time. I set up the darn meeting on the phone with her. The dog remained with us even after I freaked out over it. The meeting lasted about 20 minutes because I made clear that we were coming by to drop off a gift and didn't intend on staying longer than needed. Nobody served us food. The girls got to see each other. Everybody was able to have other plans that morning. Last time I checked, you don't just drop off a gift and leave. You ask how the lady is doing. You let her open the gift if she wants. Oh, do you need to know that she did open the gift? Do I need to tell you what I bought her?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glitch View Post
I do not answer my door when unannounced visitors stop by. If they do not have the common courtesy to call and ask my permission before showing up on my property, then they are trespassing.
Good for you. Don't open your door to unannounced visitors. I don't. In fact, a relative from out of the country decided to surprise us with a visit. He knocked on our door and would cover the peep hole. We never opened it. In fact, we were about to call the police and I had a knife in my hand. He had to finally call us on his cell phone to let him in. We were only in South Florida for 6 months and nobody had to tells us not to open doors.

I have NO clue why you are giving me lectures!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glitch View Post
I would like to know where the OP gets off telling people how other people's dogs should behave when on other people's property. Did the OP suddenly forget that she was the stranger, trespassing on someone else's property? Or does she think she has the authority to tell others they are not entitled to protect their property, or protect it only in the manner the OP considers acceptable? The OP needs to get some perspective and a grip on reality. A continuation of this self-imposing behavior by the OP is going to get her into a great deal of trouble in the future.
First of all, did you READ the title? I didn't write, "Dog owners are irresponsible and should let me tell their dog how to behave."

I came here because I don't want to freak out over a dog and I had other ideas in my head which I later decided where NOT good ideas. I am not like other CD posters who can't see things from another POV. I came here to get some perspective from dog owners. Do you really think I want to make dog owners defensive? I was warned about these forums.

Quote:
Originally Posted by latetotheparty View Post
ACTUALLY, i had the impression that the homeowner was expecting the OP and her daughter........
I had to clarify later because silly me, I though I gave enough information that the readers would know that we were expected. I guess I just assumed that people knew to not show up unannounced. You don't show up to anybody's door in South Florida without calling first. If this is all you have to say to me, then your work is done. Too bad I already knew not to show up unannounced because if that was the case, I would agree with you.

Last edited by crisan; 06-28-2010 at 08:12 PM..
 
Old 06-28-2010, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, Alaska
17,585 posts, read 11,192,994 times
Reputation: 6198
Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
Here is where I clarified that we were expected. What I don't normally do is ask if there is a dog in the house. That is why I was thinking it might be good to ask if there is a dog in the house before I get to the house. Duh, I know but I never did this before. Like I said before, I went to A woman's house, not the same woman in the OP, several times before I realized she had a dog in her house. I never expected her to lock him up. And other people told me they had dogs but I never saw them when visiting on playdates. I am not giving you their names.

We have met both adults but only at company functions. I never met the daughter. Since my pregnancy we did not go out for at least 1.5 years to any kind of company function. I try to limit my information on CD for security reasons. I never give out names; maybe you people do on the pets forum. I guess I could make up names to make the reading easier. I would never show up without letting anybody know that I was coming over. There are exceptions to this: I do knock on my neighbors door, he does the same to mine. I do knock on the door of the President of my HOA because he does the same and he has very loud barking dogs. They have not rushed out while I was at the door.

Maybe I should have sent pictures of us in advance so her daughter would know what we looked like. Maybe the dog could also study the pictures.

You need to get over yourself. You would have a case IF I showed up uninvited. I did not so you have no case. This was a town home complex so the dog probably got his foot into the other neighbor's "garden". We were not uninvited. We had a prearranged time. I set up the darn meeting on the phone with her. The dog remained with us even after I freaked out over it. The meeting lasted about 20 minutes because I made clear that we were coming by to drop off a gift and didn't intend on staying longer than needed. Nobody served us food. The girls got to see each other. Everybody was able to have other plans that morning. Last time I checked, you don't just drop off a gift and leave. You ask how the lady is doing. You let her open the gift if she wants. Oh, do you need to know that she did open the gift? Do I need to tell you what I bought her?

Good for you. Don't open your door to unannounced visitors. I don't. In fact, a relative from out of the country decided to surprise us with a visit. He knocked on our door and would cover the peep hole. We never opened it. In fact, we were about to call the police and I had a knife in my hand. He had to finally call us on his cell phone to let him in. We were only in South Florida for 6 months and nobody had to tells us not to open doors.

I have NO clue why you are giving me lectures!

First of all, did you READ the title? I didn't write, "Dog owners are irresponsible and should let me tell their dog how to behave."

I came here because I don't want to freak out over a dog and I had other ideas in my head which I later decided where NOT good ideas. I am not like other CD posters who can't see things from another POV. I came here to get some perspective from dog owners. Do you really think I want to make dog owners defensive?

I had to clarify later because silly me, I though I gave enough information that the readers would know that we were expected. You don't show up to anybody's door in South Florida without calling first. If this is all you have to say to me, then your work is done. Too bad I already knew not to show up unannounced because if that was the case, I would agree with you.
Funny how your story suddenly changes from your original post after being admonished for your unrealistic expectations. You made it quite clear they you were strangers in not only how you referrenced your husbands co-worker's wife, but also the expectant mother's comment to her daughter ("don't ever open the door for strangers") made it clear that she did not know who you were either.

Now, suddenly, you have had this relationship at company outings and you had made arrangements before stopping by. None of which was in your original post. Which certainly brings your credibility into question.

My advice is to avoid people who own dogs, whether you know them or not. Then you will have no excuse to "freak out."
 
Old 06-28-2010, 08:20 PM
 
2,728 posts, read 2,592,330 times
Reputation: 1905
When I say "freak" out I don't mean that it is somebody's fault. It was my fault I freaked out. That was what I meant. It was more like, shoot, I shouldn't have done that.

Yes, it did change and I am not afraid to admit it. That is why I am here. I had some ideas that I later realized were not reasonable because people told me they were. It also changed in that I had to clarify to a few posters that I was expected, you and the other poster in that last thread. I was not adding it in to clarify that I was expected. I was responding to another poster who said they would shoot a person who entered their house but now I realize that she may have thought the same thing. That does make more sense why she would shoot somebody. I added that information specifically for you who thought I was uninvited.

I was expected and I am done with your responses. Yes, my long relationship you so needed to hear.....oh yea, I forgot to add that she was 8 months pregnant. Oh no, my credibility has really gone down the toilet. Ever been 8 months pregnant? Maybe I should ask her, where you very far from the door that you could not tell your daughter if it was a stranger or not? This guy needs lots of information from CD on what went down and I wish I could go back in time and change my OP to make him happy.

Maybe the reason why things don't make sense is because maybe she did let her open the door but didn't think I would "freak" out over the dog. It is a lesson learned. That is all I know and I am not ashamed.

Last edited by crisan; 06-28-2010 at 08:51 PM..
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