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Old 06-27-2010, 12:10 PM
 
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So, I've had my little guy for 3 weeks, as of tomorrow, and I figure it's about time for him to meet my bf and his dog (since we will be travelling with them at the end of July). My bf and his maltipoo will be arriving on Friday, and staying through the long weekend.

I know that the dog will be absolutely no problem at all. I've known him for over 4 years, and have never known him to be anything but curious and friendly toward other dogs. Though, I will, of course, be on my guard, since he will now be coming into the pup's turf, and my attention will be divided, of course.

As for the human with him, that will be a different story. This is the first dog I've had on my own (though I have lived with dogs all of my life). And, not to toot my horn too much, but I think that he's come a long way with me. He knows how to sit, lay down, and we're working on roll over. He's doing GREAT with the potty training. He has, from the start, been super friendly with other people, and loves kids, so I am reinforcing that by taking him out for "meet and greets" around my community. I am crate training him, and the only issue we really have is when I first put him in, when he cries and barks. (But we're working on that one too. )

So....in thinking about this visit next week, I'm having some trepidation about the pup getting confused. It's apparent that my bf and I have some differences in training philosophy, which is fine in theory, but in practice could be a little troublesome. The way I look at this, my bf should be, at this point, like a step-father or uncle to my dog. Play with him, and have fun, but when it comes to the discipline, leave it to me. (This is precisely the way that I treat his dog.)

I know that we're going to have "the talk" about this, but I'm not quite sure how it will pan out. I don't want to hurt my bf's feelings, but at the same time, I want to make sure that the pup knows who to listen to. I've been with my bf long enough to know that when we have differences of opinion on matters such as this, I "take it under advisement" and proceed to go my own way, but I don't want the dog to backtrack. At this early stage, how much damage could two people working with him do? Some tips, tricks or positive thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 06-27-2010, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Tx
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If your dog will be living with you full time then your bf should not discipline him even when visiting. I think that would confuse your pup and would set you back in the training process once he leaves. You train your own dog, he trains his same with discipline. Simple as that. If he doesn't like it then I don't know what to tell ya.

My ex and I have very different opinions on how to treat dogs. To him dogs are just that, dogs. To me they are my children. I refuse to feed them table scraps and am very stubborn on what type of food they receive. They are on a potty schedule and one goes out first and the other second (I have problems walking them together). My ex would change that up, taking whichever dog out first that he wanted to, taking them out off schedule, feeding them table scraps behind my back or when I wasn't home. Now I have to get them back on the regular schedule I had them on before he was here.

Good luck!
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Old 06-27-2010, 01:51 PM
 
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Thanks for your reply Jaime. Fortunately, I don't think that my bf would change things up with mine as much as your ex did with yours. I'm just thinking at my dog's very young age, he'd be confused easily as to who to listen to...
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Old 06-27-2010, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Tx
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Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
Thanks for your reply Jaime. Fortunately, I don't think that my bf would change things up with mine as much as your ex did with yours. I'm just thinking at my dog's very young age, he'd be confused easily as to who to listen to...
Well exactly he would be confused. My ex and I got a dog together and it was hard for me to discipline her when he would do it differently and it irritated me to no end. It's easier if your bf doesn't live with you and hopefully understands that when he is there you are still boss to your dog. You need to talk to him about it before he comes. You are working on training him and you do not want your dog to be confused when your bf says no to something or disciplines a different way then you do. If he is going to discipline he needs to do it the way you do it.
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Old 06-27-2010, 02:13 PM
 
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Yup, that's exactly it. My little guy needs consistency. This is not to say that I wouldn't incorporate a suggestion from my bf if I found it useful, but I don't want him taking over. Yes, he's raised many good dogs in his life, but this is MY dog (who, btw, is so traumatized by living with me, that he's snuggled next to me on the couch right now snoring ).
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Old 06-27-2010, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Tx
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
Yup, that's exactly it. My little guy needs consistency. This is not to say that I wouldn't incorporate a suggestion from my bf if I found it useful, but I don't want him taking over. Yes, he's raised many good dogs in his life, but this is MY dog (who, btw, is so traumatized by living with me, that he's snuggled next to me on the couch right now snoring ).
I understand totally. I had MY dog when we moved in together, and then we got a rescue together. He knew how I did stuff with Buster, but I think he thought of Bella as his and did what he wanted with her. I got on him about a lot of things, especially the table scraps and then playing rough with her. I didn't want a mean dog or her to think play biting was ok.

He ended up moving to another state for 10 months and it was all on me to change everything he had done with her, and when she finally got use to it he came back and it was all undone lol He's moving out next month and it's gonna take a few months to get her back on a routine but now that she is a bit older I think it will be easier.

Just stand your ground. I know it can be hard when it comes to a significant other because it caused fights with my ex and I, but if you do things one way and your bf isn't living with you it should be your call 100% of the time. But that's just my opinion
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Old 06-27-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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Wow, that's tough...having to re-train twice!

I will definitely have a talk with him, setting out the "ground rules" (as nicely as I can, of course). Like, for example, I have no issues about giving my dog a piece of meat from my dinner, so long as it's after I've eaten, and he's not been begging the whole time. Since my little guy is just learning "off" when he puts his front paws up on the coffee table, I can't see this sort of thing happening for a long while.

One of the bigger issues that I foresee is the crate. My little guy is being crate-trained. We have our routine in the morning, where he gets his meal first, in the crate, and is locked in there while the cats are fed. I've just started sleeping in my bed at night, which has required several trips back out to the living room to remind him that "there's no barking in baseball". (I'd love to be able to just leave him to bark himself to sleep, but that's not possible, as I have neighbors who can hear all of this.)

I need to let my bf know that we NEED to reinforce the fact that Kizzy (short for Kizmet) needs to be cool in his crate, as we will be travelling with him at the end of July, and having him crate trained will make things SO much easier.
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Old 06-27-2010, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Santa Barbara CA
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I would tell your boyfriend that while you admire the training he has done with his dog(s) that Kizmet ( love that name !) is your dog and you would like to try to train him a little different and ask that he be consistent with your training. If he respects you he should respect your request.

Cosistency is important in training and that is why dogs are better trainers then humans as unlike us they are Consistent! Look how very fast a dog can train its owner...it is the fact they are consistent.

You are very correct having your dog crate trained will making traveling with him much easier. Good luck.
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Old 06-27-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Dashdog View Post
I would tell your boyfriend that while you admire the training he has done with his dog(s) that Kizmet ( love that name !) is your dog and you would like to try to train him a little different and ask that he be consistent with your training. If he respects you he should respect your request.
Thanks! My mom came up with the name, since I found him tied to a tree (or did he find me??). I changed the "s" to a "z", just to make it a little different.

I'm probably making more of this than it will actually be. Thanks though for the tip on how to approach it with the bf. Every little bit of positivity helps!
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Old 06-29-2010, 03:33 AM
 
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I feel your dog should obey everyone in the home not just one person,you should draw boundaries for your kizzy and your bf explain how you want your dog trained and ask him to follow your rules not his.
if my dogs push the rules established I expect my friends to stop their actions
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