Should I re-home my rescue Sheltie (shepherd, clean, vet, barking)
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I have made a few post about my Sheltie but here is the story. We found her in July, she had been abandonded in our barn and was flea and tick infested and full of matts. My hubby brought her home and we took her to the vet and had her spay(ed), all of her shots, and put on heartworm medicine. When it is just me and Buddy(my Lab/Shepherd mix) she is the perfect dog she loves to play and cuddle. She is so happy when I get home from work and can't give me enough love and she is great company for Buddy. We had to housetrain her but she is doing great with that and hasnt had an accident in about a month. We have had her for 3 months now. Here is the problem she is scared to death of everyone else in my family. My husband tries really hard with her but she is still so scared of him. When he even moves in his chair she will get up and go in the other room and just spin and spin. If he gets up too fast she will run behind the chair and bark at him. This seems to be getting worse, not better. When my son and his GF come over it is the same thing. She will bark at them and then run away.
I love her so much but I am thinking maybe she would be better off with a single woman. My husband has been great and doesnt complain but I know he doesnt like being barked at everytime he gets up.
I have such mixed emotions on what to do. You dont give up on your kids just because they have issues and I have always been the person who has adopted or taken in the strays and have never had to think about re-homing my babies.
I want her to be happy too and I would only look for the perfect home for her because I dont want her to have to go through this again.
Please give me some advice because this is eating me up.
What I would do is have everyone in the house just ignore her. No talking no eye contact. Give her some time. Who knows what her story is. I'm sure she is feeling very overwhelmed. Anyone coming into the house should do the same. Your husband can try feeding her and hopefully once she begins to relax a bit he can start taking her for walks. But until then I would just give her some time to settle in, it really hasn't been that long.
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Originally Posted by dogpaw
What I would do is have everyone in the house just ignore her. No talking no eye contact. Give her some time. Who knows what her story is. I'm sure she is feeling very overwhelmed. Anyone coming into the house should do the same. Your husband can try feeding her and hopefully once she begins to relax a bit he can start taking her for walks. But until then I would just give her some time to settle in, it really hasn't been that long.
This is good advice. I didn't respond when I first saw your post because I thought that I didn't have any advice, but I ditto what dogpaw said.
Artie is VERY uptight around people he doesn't know. Before anyone new comes over, I tell them to ignore him. Just pretend that he's not even here. Sure enough, it works EVERY TIME. When someone who Artie doesn't know comes into the house, they ignore him... but Artie HATES being ignored... so he runs to get his toys and brings them, one by one, to "this new human" that's in the house.
If they aren't told to ignore him, he barks like CRAZY, jumps on them, blah blah blah. Ignoring Artie brings out the best in him somehow.
Thanks guys for the advice. If she just did this to strangers it wouldnt be that big of deal but when she does it to my family that she see's on a regular almost daily basis and it seems like she is more this way than at first. It is like she has picked me as her person and she doesnt want anyone else around.
My hubby does try to feed her. Sometimes she will take a treat out of his hand and other times she runs away and barks(we teasingly say she is bi-polar). When we are in the truck she will sit right next to him and even initiate him to pet her but when we are in the house he cant even go near her. If he tries to let her back in the house she will run around and around just barking and it is even hard for me to catch her.
I thought time would make this better but right now it is worse than when we first brought her home.
3 months really isn't that much time. It's going to take patience and time for her to feel comfortable with her new surroundings. She may just feel very stressed when there is more then one person around her. There's just no way of knowing what she went through before she ended up with you.
But.....if you do feel the need to re home her, contact a sheltie rescue. In fact you may just want to contact someone that knows the breed that could possibly give you some insight. They may have some suggestions that might help.
Thank you. There was some really useful info there. I dont think it is just men but her fearfullness seems worse with men but she also wont go near my Son's girlfriend. So I might record all their voices and have my hubby give her a treat when he comes in the door. Thanks again for all the advice I just hope that it starts getting better. I hate to think she is so stressed. She acts so normal and happy around me but so fearful around everyone else. She is not the least bit aggesive so at least that is a plus.
Thanks guys for the advice. If she just did this to strangers it wouldnt be that big of deal but when she does it to my family that she see's on a regular almost daily basis and it seems like she is more this way than at first. It is like she has picked me as her person and she doesnt want anyone else around.
My hubby does try to feed her. Sometimes she will take a treat out of his hand and other times she runs away and barks(we teasingly say she is bi-polar). When we are in the truck she will sit right next to him and even initiate him to pet her but when we are in the house he cant even go near her. If he tries to let her back in the house she will run around and around just barking and it is even hard for me to catch her.
I thought time would make this better but right now it is worse than when we first brought her home.
Is your husband just trying to give her treats or is he responsible for all of her food/water needs? Let him be the one to always get her food for her everyday if that is possible. Let him walk her with you going along but not the one in control. She has to develop trust and that takes time, especially if she was abused by a man before she showed up in your barn.
If you have her crate trained you might even throw in one of his dirty t-shirts in as bedding.
Is your husband just trying to give her treats or is he responsible for all of her food/water needs? Let him be the one to always get her food for her everyday if that is possible. Let him walk her with you going along but not the one in control. She has to develop trust and that takes time, especially if she was abused by a man before she showed up in your barn.
If you have her crate trained you might even throw in one of his dirty t-shirts in as bedding.
Unfortunately the feeding and walking doesnt really work because hubby leaves very early in the morning and doesnt usually get home until dark.
She does not stay in a crate but I like the T-shirt idea and I will put it her favorite spot to lay.
It seems like sometimes she wants to be friends with him because she will sneak after him and see what he is doing but if he looks at her or walks toward her she runs and hides behind my chair.
I dont know about the treat at the door either because she usually wont go in the kitchen when he gets home. I might pick her up on my way by and take her to him and then he could give the treat.
Thanks again everyone. I think I will give these suggestions a try and try to be more patient.
You sound like you really do not want to give up on her but want what is best for her. A hard place to be that is for sure as I have been there but for me placing the dog with my parents worked out great for all involved and allowed the dog to remain a part of my life.
Maybe more time and smaller baby steps like instead of expecting her to take food from your husbands hand right now have him walk around with a treat bag or pocket full of small treats and just toss them to her until she starts thinking " That man means yummy treats or good things happen" Of course you will have to cut back on the amount of food she gets at meals if she is getting lots of treats. You could do that with other family members too just take it real slow and let her approach on her own then reward with a jackpot of treats when she does. You could also have him or another family member be the one that actually serves her her meals. Maybe you could go on some walks where you start off with the leash then pass it to the other person and let them walk her. Most dogs I have known are most attached to the person that cares for them..feeds then walks then etc.
Phoenix was terrified of Kids and strangers when I got her. She is deaf with limited vision has been that way since birth. For what ever reason when I met her she came right up to me and that so impressed all the humane society workers that they all prayed I adopt her. ( could have been the fact I sat on the ground and offered her a treat rather then stood over her as they warned me that she was super shy and I also had gotten down on my knees in front of her run to get her to come over when I first spotted her) Anyway when we met strangers she froze but if I could get her to go meet them ( yes it took food) then she would remember them and be happy to see them the next time.
Kids made her run and hide so it was more difficult but now while she is still very cautious around them she will stay in a room so she can watch them and will let them approach her. She is not at all aggressive so we have not had any problems there as she prefers flight to fight. When she still lived with me ( lives with my dad now because one of my other dogs kept picking on her) I took her to agility just so she could be exposed to others while my other two dogs ran agility and I even had luck getting one of the other owners young daughters to walk her around and they soon became friends where she enjoyed seeing the girl and even a friend of the girls that sometimes came.
My dad recently had some work done on his house and said Phoenix was slow in coming near the workers that first day but when she did they petted her and after that she greeted them each morning. Yes It did take alot of time from when I adopted her to get her more comfortable with strangers and kids but I am very impressed at how well she has done.
In a similar story I just had to take in my dad's 11 yr old diabetic cat as he can not take care of it do to the insulin shots. This cat has never liked me and hides from me and hisses at me..well now that he depends on me for his food and clean litter box and insulin he is my best buddy and climbs in my lap and purrs.. a real lover boy and a major change from the cat he had been. So if your husband is willing maybe putting him in charge of all food will help her see him as a good thing. At first it may mean just placing the food down and not asking anything else but once she becomes use to that maybe expecting a little petting or having her sit or do a trick for the food will further the bond.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do as nothing you do do will be an easy fix for you.
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