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Old 10-29-2010, 03:23 AM
 
Location: Sunset Mountain
1,385 posts, read 2,942,487 times
Reputation: 1396

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I just need to get it out, its driving me nuts.

My mother-in-law, myself, and my husband all live together in a huge house. There's an upstairs where "gramma" we call her lives, and my husband and I live downstairs.

I have one dog, two cats. My female dog Sunshine is 8 this year, and I've spent countless hours, days, weeks, months training my dog NOT to be dominate, not to be the pack leader, and not to beg for food.

She's my first dog, I'm more of a cat lady...but I really wanted to see what dog ownership entailed.

It was a lot of work!

Que in "gramma" who rescues a poodle/shnauzer mix who just wandered into her yard a few years ago and she kept him. I'd known Sprockett for about one year prior to our arrangement of living together.

Now mind you...I'm no Cesar Milan here...but I did not find it rocket science to train my dog not to be the biggest pain in the ass she could be...which Sprockett is. A huge pain in the butt.

It's not his fault, it's gramma's. She coddles him for reasons I can only suspect is from years of loosing her dogs and that fear of loosing him.

Well...it's unhealthy. He dominates this entire house. He marks and pees all over MY THINGS. not hers mind you, MINE.
she won't train him, she won't listen to me, she won't watch dog whisperer, OH NO none of those things apply to her and her PRECIOUS POOCH!

Now....this "king of the hill" attitude he has only confuses my dog.

And now..she gets into trouble with him, has begun doing as she pleases, and is gaining unnecessary weight due to treats and scraps gramma gives her b/c now she's passing that crap onto my dog who sneaks upstairs for it, undermining all of that training.

I got two baby gates, and they've magically disappeared. I know she has disposed of them because Heaven forbid her precious pooch can't claim the entire house while she's at work.

HEY STUPID LADY, HE PEES AND CRAPS ON MY STUFF DOWN HERE.

I'm at my witts end, about to kick them both out, slap my husband because he won't support me, and just take my dog and my cats and go somewhere where I can be the king of the hill. LOL

I've never been a control freak, but I'm feeling like one today.

I've tried training him on our walks because I read this neat article that talks about why male dogs mark and how to curb it...but the pooch tries to choke himself on any sort of lead or harness I put on him.

He does not want to be tamed. Obviously.
And I'm sorry, but I'm ready to let him choke. Seriously. I'm a stay at home student, and all day I have to hear him pine, whine, and bark for his master (or should I say his mistress..he has no master here) to come home.

All.
Damn.
Day.
Every.
Damn.
Day.

If I train him, she'll break it because she let's him do as she pleases.

All it will do is establish around me he can't get away with it...but it doesn't last. He goes back to being the alpha here because she won't back me up.



So...if any of you decide to agree to a living arrangement with someone who has a dog, untrained, and unruly, and you are not that kind of dog owner and have a trained dog. Be WARNED.

You might just want to shoot someone.

/endrant
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Old 10-29-2010, 03:28 AM
 
Location: Declezville, CA
16,768 posts, read 35,794,606 times
Reputation: 17348
Hubby needs to man up and set some ground rules with mommy dearest, ESPECIALLY concerning the peeing/pooping.
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Old 10-29-2010, 04:09 AM
 
Location: Sunset Mountain
1,385 posts, read 2,942,487 times
Reputation: 1396
I agree. What I do is make him clean it up, hoping it will spark some sort of manhood so he goes up to his mother...


but alas.

His balls are tucked like a dog's tail.

Between his legs in a cowardly stance.

XD

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Old 10-29-2010, 08:36 AM
 
1,831 posts, read 4,046,216 times
Reputation: 1253
Speaking of, er, balls, is Spockett neutered? I'd be tempted to sneak him out and get the deed done one day. That may curtail the marking.

You're home with him all day while MIL works, right? Maybe you can find out how to become the alpha dog to the point where MIL can't undo it. In short, he will listen to you as opposed to her. Also, you can sit the bags of waste you had to clean up in her bedroom. I can't understand people being passive aggressive in someone else's home. I just don't get how their minds work.

But really, I think you need to kick MIL and Sprockett out. Life is too short.
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Old 10-30-2010, 07:43 AM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,765 posts, read 19,217,049 times
Reputation: 25562
Oh wow. You are in a tough situation. Peeing and pooping over your things is not acceptable; can you block him out of your part of the house when she is gone?

My Dad just moved in with us (89 years old) and we are having our own issues. He is NOT a dog person; and Lucy has chosen his room to poop in, for some reason. We just started closing his door so she can't get in there and . . problem solved. Well, one problem anyway.
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Old 10-30-2010, 01:27 PM
 
Location: North Western NJ
6,591 posts, read 22,759,169 times
Reputation: 9634
im not a cesar fan so i wont touch that...

but my first suggestion is if nes not neutered that needs to be done...
my second suggestion since training is useless unless all members of the home are willing to take part is to get a door with a lock between your space and grammas...
the lock shoud be a keyed lock and dont give her a key.

or get your own place if its her house...

unless everyones willing to take part hes going to continue doing as hes doing...
and she sounds completly unwilling to change...
babygates arnt perminent enough, so a locking door seems like your best next bet...
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Old 10-30-2010, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,418 posts, read 46,320,161 times
Reputation: 52660
Have you talked to "gramma" yourself and laid down the law, since your spouse obviously hasn't?
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Old 11-01-2010, 02:48 AM
 
Location: Huntsville, Alabama
339 posts, read 1,086,464 times
Reputation: 96
I have 3 Jack Russells - It is a given much work it is to keep them from eating things like the couch. After years of couch consumption I finally established that they are not allowed on the couch. I just came home from 2 weeks vacation - to find that my house sitting daughter has reversed years of progress Now the dogs think they are entitled to the sofa. Sigh.
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Old 11-02-2010, 12:56 AM
 
5,699 posts, read 17,436,341 times
Reputation: 8613
I a similar situation. We had our collie for about 4 yrs. He is extremely smart and out of all the dogs I have ever had he was so easy to train. He is hyper and we dealt with it settling him down when in the house etc. Unfortunately our dog viewed himself alpha over our son and eventually we had an issue where my son was bit. My mom insisted if we were considering removing the dog from the house she wanted him. My mom's neighborhood had kind of gone down hill and she expressed the dog would help her feel more safe plus she really loves him. My husband thought it was a good idea.

She has had the dog for over a year and she calls me everyday to tell me a story of what the dog is doing. Seriously, I dont think she was ever that excited about us kids like she is about this dog. She brags about him all the time to friends and family. This dog is her life. Its very sweet but its also an issue. All the training I gave the dog has gone out the window! He is a hyper mess now and it really worries me. My mom is in great health but is 68 years old and not as sure footed as she used to be. She lets the dog in from outside and he barrels into the house knocking every thing down that gets in his way. All 80 lbs of him. I am truly afraid he is going to knock down my mother. She does not crate him anymore because she believes it hurts his feelings. So he pretty much gets into everything while she is at work (she still works full time). He eats anything on the counters such as a whole loaf of bread or whatever else she might leave out. The trash can is a free for all. We never let him on the furniture but she doesnt correct him much when he does it at her house.

So here is the problem. She visits us often (we live 4 hrs apart) and she stays for a few days when she visits. She brings the dog with her. He is a complete hassle to have in the house now. I turn my back and he is in the trash, pulling something off the counter or sprawled out on the sofa. Recently I discovered he went into my basement and peed all over my treadmill. My mother admitted he marks quite a bit in her house. I was shocked. I asked her when this started and she isnt sure.

I am watching the dog for a week. She flew out west to see family. I am ready for her to come back and get him. I have tried to explain to her that she needs to get control of him. I love when my mom visits I really miss her, moving away from her was tough but I start to feel stressed when she visits because of the dog. My stuff is getting ruined!
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Old 11-02-2010, 03:51 AM
 
Location: Declezville, CA
16,768 posts, read 35,794,606 times
Reputation: 17348
Why can't she kennel him when she visits or leaves town? Better yet, why don't you insist on it? I have a family member whom I visit and don't take Nanners with me because Nanners and her dog hate each others guts. It doesn't kill her to not go with me.
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