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My husband and I had to make the stressful decision to place our dog in a new home after the dog bit my son. Charlie is a smooth coat collie around 5 yrs of age. We got him as pup and I was surprised how hyper he was. My mother grew up with collies and when I was a child my grandparents had a collie. All of them were rough coats so not sure if there is a distinct difference in temperament but even my mother admitted none of the dogs she grew up with were this hyper. I fondly remember my grandparents collie being extremely calm. He seemed like a wise old man. So anyway, training Charlie was very easy. He is extremely smart but does want to be boss. Stuff like if I am walking in the backdoor he would push me aside to get in first. Walking up an down stairs, same thing. Mr. Alpha had to be first. My dog trainer told me he needs a firm hand. He will always want to be boss. So consistent training was a must with him. I had no problem with this. I am naturally a pretty consistent person and Charlie is very smart. A few corrections and he gets it. He never showed aggression and he is a quite cheerful confident dog but he is obnoxious.
Two summers ago my son accident stepped on Charlie's paw. Charlie yelped, ran around the yard and came back and bit my son in the rear end. It was not a nip. A good size bite. It did not draw blood but there were 4 puncture wounds and the compression caused extensive bruising. We took our son to the doctor as a precaution. In our state, the doctors have to notify the Humane Society. So then we had to go to the HS to meet with the vet so she could see my son's injury and access the dog's personality. It was a big deal and something I had never gone through before. The vet said it could have been a fluke but she did not like how the dog ran off and came back to retaliate. The vet accessed our dog and said that he seemed to have a very confident and lively personality. She can see why this incident was a surprise because he does not come across as aggressive. She said ultimately it was up to us as parents on what we wanted to do. Sometimes things like this happen. She asked my son if he was nervous around the dog now and he admitted he was. The vet took us aside and said the nervousness might be an issue and also she had to inform us that she was required to record the incident. If the dog were to bite anyone else "he already has a record." I left feeling like my dog was some hardened criminal.
What concerned us with our dog having a record is we have two little girls next door that constantly put their fingers through the fence. Their mother is not a dog lover and we could see a potential problem. So we talked it over as a family and decided Charlie might be better off with a new home. I told my mother and she went nuts. She went with us pick out the dog and has a major attachment to Charlie. She wanted the dog. She said she could handle him. My son loved the idea because he could still see Charlie. My mother has no small children in her neighborhood. Also the neighborhood has taken a down turn and she expressed she would feel safer if Charlie lived with her. So we said okay.
Now this is the point of my thread...my mother has not listened to me at all on how to train Charlie. I showed her how to walk him, when and how to correct him and so forth. She promised she would do all these things. She has had him 2 yrs now and everything I showed her has gone out the window. She first stopped crating him. She said he looked sad and she thinks crating is cruel. She said its a dog prison. So Charlie gets full rein of the house. My mother beams about this dog like a new parent. It is sweet at times but I think over the top. Everything the dog does is "cute" and the behavior is not cute in my eyes. He is tearing up her house. When I insisted he needs to be crated when she leaves the house she said she would start doing that. Well she lies. She will slip up every now and then and tell me how he has done something and when I mention the crate, she will say stuff like "oh I just ran up to the bank for a minute and that is why I left him out." Its bull.
He now takes things off the counters and table. He has helped himself many times to a full loaf of bread. On several occasions she has cooked herself dinner, turned around to get something and find the dinner has magically disappeared. She lets him bolt into the house and he knocks down everything in his path. My mother giggles and says he is just so silly. I am really afraid he is going to knock my mother down the basement steps. When she visits us and brings the dog he is completely out of control. I let him in the house and he tears through the place, running up to the second floor at full speed. I have to put a leash on him in the house. He will flip the trash can over in the kitchen right in front of you. He pooped in my living room and marked my treadmill. This really shocked me because he never did this stuff. Even as a puppy I only had 2 accidents in the house. My mother admitted he has been marking in her house for a while now.
My mom and I had a heated debate about the dog with her last visit at Thanksgiving. My husband corrected the dog and my mom flipped out. It ended up being a big ta do. An hour or so later she went to make a sandwich and Charlie snatched it right out of her hand. It startled her and made her stumble backwards. She admitted defeat and said she sees that it is a problem. She said she would start doing everything I suggested.
Here is the thing, I don't believe her and also I am not sure she can even handle him. He has established himself as boss. He is really wild now. I don't know what to do. She loves this dog but I just don't think she has the discipline to keep him in line.
did you retain some sort of ownership in the dog?? if not, then it is your mother's problem and up to her to deal with it. if she is willing to put up with these behaviors, then i don't see where there is much that you can do......
If your dog, if the caregiver isn't abiding by what you want, you have the right to take the dog back to your home, or find another home because it's your dog.
If its now here dog, all you can do is suggest and recommend, but taht's it because its not your dog anymore!
When you give up a dog to a shelter, rescue group, leave it in the woods, or give it away to a family person, your also giving up your right to decide what is best for the dog in your eyes. If its no longer your dog, what business do you have to insist they follow your rules and not their rules? Kinda like "My Yard, My Rules" well "Their Dog, Their Rules"
No, I did not obtain any sort of ownership of the dog. I see the point where I do not have say anymore. But the thing is my mother calls me to tell me about the dog's antics, so its pretty hard not to say something. If the dog tears up her house because she chooses to let him loose, then there is nothing I can do about that.
But my biggest concern is that because she lets the dog go wild, she may end up injured. This is my mother. How can I simply say "well that is her problem?" It also doesn't help that a few days ago I spoke to my brother and he mentioned that the dog was pretty wild. He then says, "If Ma gets hurt by that dog, its gonna be your fault for giving it to her." So apparently I am not the only one thinking I somehow still have some responsibility in this matter.
Agree with LTTP. Unless your mom is mentally incapable of making decisions on her own, you're not to blame. You didn't lie to her about the dog. You've given her some instruction on how to help but she's not listening to you. What does your brother expect you to do? Unless mom decides she can't handle the dog and is willing to surrender it to a rescue - and good luck finding one with room - you CAN'T do anything. If your brother thinks your wrong, let him step in. As for your mom, when she calls with complaints, tell her you don't want to hear it if she isn't willing to do what needs to be done with the dog to secure her leadership in the house.
Yes my mom is of sound mind. I guess there really isn't anything I can do. I feel frustrated I guess. I did explain to her in great detail on how to handle the dog. I guess my worry is if she is injured by the dog then somehow I would feel responsible because I gave her the dog. As far as my brother goes he is kind of a jerk but well I guess I had hoped the arrangement would have turned out better than it has so far.
Yes my mom is of sound mind. I guess there really isn't anything I can do. I feel frustrated I guess. I did explain to her in great detail on how to handle the dog. I guess my worry is if she is injured by the dog then somehow I would feel responsible because I gave her the dog.
There is one thing you can do
The day she makes any comment on how you are handling your kids, or treating your husband, or cleaning the house - thats the day you comment in full force about how she;s handling Charlie.
The day she makes any comment on how you are handling your kids, or treating your husband, or cleaning the house - thats the day you comment in full force about how she;s handling Charlie.
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ha ha. True!
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