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How old is your son? Much depends on his age. If he is old enough to have a cell phone and there is a signal, I would recommend you call him and tell him about the situation. It is far better that he is traumatized by the place/memory association than if he thinks you have gone behind his back. Your dog is, in effect, his sibling, and he needs to know--protected him from bad news may feel right at the moment, but it may create endless second-guessing and even hostility, blame, and feelings of guilt in years to come--and I'm speaking from experience. Make him feel (if he is old enough to understand) that you need his understanding--that you are there for him, but he also needs to be there for you. It may be one of the truly deep emotional moments of his young life, and you should be able to share the grief. If he is close to your dog, he will want to come home.
Of course I don't know about your family dynamics--but that would be my recommendation. And I'm so sorry your moment of goodbye has come, but it seems like your dog has picked his own time, and that is a gift in itself...hard as it may be...
He's 19. But he has severe anxiety disorders. He knows the dog isn't doing well. He was home in the morning when I had to carry the dog inside. He didn't hear me calling from outside to come help me. He couldn't stand to see him that way. I know he knows the time is near, we've talked about it many times since December. He took pictures of the lab yesterday and put one on his cell background. The dog was moving around better, not perfect, when he left to go camping. I thought to ask him if he wanted to come home if it was time, but I forgot during the rush. When the pet rat died and he buried the rat for me in the winter, he said he wouldn't be able to bury the dog. I don't expect him to. He doesn't have to come to the vet. But I do know he'd like to say goodbye.
No good news. But no bad news. The medicine didn't cause the seizures since he only started it yesterday. The vet added a seizure medication. He's doing much better today---did about 20 laps trotting around the yard this morning. But this is just because of bandaid treatments keeping him glued together. It's reached the point where I realize that he has been through enough. I scheduled an appointment for him to be pts on Monday afternoon.
My deepest condolences Hopes . I know your heart is breaking and the added stress of how to handle your son is making it even worse. In case you haven't been through it before, I suggest you stay with your sweet baby. I cried like a baby when I took 16 year old bichon Paul in and the last thing he did was lift his head to lick my face. He was comforting me. True to the end.
I'll be thinking about you and I hope it isn't too bad for you. You are doing the right thing. They tell us and that is exactly what he was doing by being so close to you all day.
It is with a heavy heart that I read your words, Hopes...I know you have been struggling with this, and I'm so, so sorry. You gave each other 16 incredible years, and the connection you have can never be lost or broken...it exists for all eternity, transcends time and space. Just remember this, and know your final act of kindness is just that...an act of kindness, a decision to free his spirit from an ailing vessel that no longer allows him to be comfortable on this plane. You will see each other again. (((HUGS)))
That's so sweet. Thank you. Your post reminds me of a book I'm reading called "The Art of Racing in the Rain." A family dog is the narrator and he believes he will come back as a person when he dies. But the story isn't just about the old dog dying. The dog is telling the story of the life of his family. But this concept of the body just being a vessel is throughout the book. The first three pages, you think OMG I can't read this, because it starts out with him as an old dog sort of in the situation my dog is in now, but then it goes back in time and he tells the story of his family from the start of his joining the family. It's a great book. It's very moving but funny too---hearing the a dogs thoughts and perspective on everyday events in people's lives. I highly recommend it.
I can only hope that your visit will bring some good news. But if you have to put him to sleep, I'd agree with what Clark said above about your son.
My thoughts are with you through your difficult time.
If things turn worse over the weekend, I will call him. He does have cell service. I just don't want to call him until it's absolutely necessary. No false alarms.
Hopes, remember to post on the rainbow bridge, I just went through this and I have and still find some solace there.
You know in your heart when it is time, you love them so you want them to be free.
My son was still at college but I discovered that maybe I was using that as a way to postpone the decision. Maybe you can have a friend go along. It helps just to have another along.
Best regards, mt-7
I also have a 16 y.o. dog that her time has come. She's not in any pain but very, very tired now. I'm hoping she dies in her sleep. She is the last of my pets.
That's what I've been hoping--that he would die in his sleep. I really thought it would happen that way. I hope it does for you. ((((donie))))
My cocker is 16 years old and a couple months ago she started falling over on her side, like someone would when their foot falls asleep or something. She always had siezures when she was younger, but I hadn't seen it happen for a long time. I knew then she was on her way. She has since stopped falling over but sometimes loses the muscle ability in her hind quarters to get through the dog door and I have to get her myself. She's in no pain so I hope she goes quietly and I am here with her when it happens and I have been able to hold her and tell her it's okay
You're describing my dog with the falling over and weak hind end---back in December. He wasn't and isn't really in pain. But mine has progresssed to losing his dignity now. I can see he is ashamed. It was one thing when he was having a difficult time for brief periods. But yesterday, it's like he is bed ridden. He's so big, it's like having a horse down. His eyes are still alert. He's still there mentally. That's what makes it the hardest.
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Originally Posted by Thursday007
They left the dog with the vet for cremation, but in the middle of the night my nephew busted into my brother's room and said they had to go get him and bury him, he'd changed his mind and the night -on call service called the vet and he let them come to the office in the middle of the night to pick up the dog.
I'm very conflicted over how to handle the burial. We're going to talk as a family on Monday. I'm going to let my son's wishes guide the decision. Thanks for sharing your nephew's story.
My deepest condolences Hopes . I know your heart is breaking and the added stress of how to handle your son is making it even worse. In case you haven't been through it before, I suggest you stay with your sweet baby. I cried like a baby when I took 16 year old bichon Paul in and the last thing he did was lift his head to lick my face. He was comforting me. True to the end.
Awe. That's sweet. I did pts my childhood peakapoo when I was 27. She was over 20 years old. I had her literally my entire life. I haven't had to do this since. This lab is the second dog I've owned as an adult. I'll go in. It will be harder this time around. Back then, I didn't have experience. But I've lost my parents and sister since then. You'd think it would get easier as we get older. I find it the opposite. It's like all of the losses stack up on top of each other. And the old losses because raw again when there's a new loss.
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Originally Posted by no kudzu
I'll be thinking about you and I hope it isn't too bad for you. You are doing the right thing. They tell us and that is exactly what he was doing by being so close to you all day.
I'm going to keep reminding myself about how he was close to me the day before and tell myself that was him telling me it was time. Thank you for giving me that thought.
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