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Old 08-01-2011, 09:58 AM
 
130 posts, read 326,305 times
Reputation: 45

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Well, we have a fantastic boxer dog who is almost 3.5 yrs old. He is super-energetic dog and has been fantastic throughout. Some usual teething troubles but now we recently had a baby. He is fine with the baby as well but its been overwhelming experience with the baby and the dog.

My betterhalf feels that we have not been giving enough attention to him and also many times, we (couple) tend to fight over because we now have more responsibilities. I'm mature enough to think that dog is more of a 2nd priority now,but also I feel sad. I'm posting this here to solicit some opinions and ways to deal with this separation. We will be adopting out this dog to some new owner who can probably take care of him in better ways.

Also importantly - its meaningless on us to leave him at his ripe age of 8 instead now. So, I feel I need to take this hit now than later and repent later. Manh, never in my life - I have gone through such emotions, including birth of my baby! Indeed DOG is Man's best friend!. - I realized it today... I would rather let him go,now and other family can enjoy some good times with him as well now instead later.

Any thoughts? Inputs? Any animal lovers, or otherwise ? Thanks.

Last edited by Bo; 08-01-2011 at 10:20 AM.. Reason: Moved from Austin forum.

 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Austin
1,747 posts, read 3,077,130 times
Reputation: 746
I'm not really sure what your question is. Is it how to deal with your own emotions about giving up this dog, or is it the dog's emotions adjusting to a new life? The latter won't be easy for him. Have your own emotions had time to level out after giving birth, in order to make the best decision?

I'm not understanding why you think you will have to give the dog up eventually, at say, 8 years of age? By that time he'll be your child's most trusted friend.

Is there a problem with the dog and the baby, or is it just the responsibility? If its the responsibility, one or the other of you spending time with the dog can be a respite. If both of you can keep this dog and treat it with kindness and love, maybe you could look at time with him as a break, instead of a chore. If he's been aggressive with the baby or shown aggressive tendencies in the past, that's a different story. Your baby's safety comes first.

My husband gave up our dog 30 years ago because of our baby, simply because it was a time commitment, and that bothers me to this day. Some people, I guess it doesn't, but it bothers him as well now that he has maturity on his side.

Just please do seek a good home if you do this, not just someone who is willing to take him. fwiw, there is a boxer rescue organization in Austin. Barring any of the above...keeping him and providing a lot of love during this adjustment, finding a fantastic home, or a rescue group, a guaranteed no-kill shelter is a must. However, shelter life is a very last resort situation.

Last edited by capcat; 08-01-2011 at 10:52 AM..
 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Greater Seattle, WA Metro Area
1,938 posts, read 5,648,563 times
Reputation: 894
The only support I can offer is that the first baby and the first 8-9 months of that baby are tough for a new parent and any marriage. It won't always feel this hard. You will get used to your new schedule and baby will be able to go for lots of walks/outings as it gets older and sleeps less. I'd hate for you to get rid of the dog now only to realize you could handle it later. Have you considered hiring a dog walking service for a while?
 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:17 AM
 
Location: central Austin
7,025 posts, read 12,541,648 times
Reputation: 3589
Before re-homing, have you thought about hiring a dog walker? Or taking him to doggy daycare a couple of times a week? Either one could improve the quality of both your life and the dog's life.

Re-homing can be difficult and finding quality homes can be tough. Work your network, has any friend every expressed interest in the dog? Now is the time to find out. Put it out on your FB page, put up signs at your vet, use craigslist but be prepared to screen potential adopters (ask for vet references, call them, make sure that their existing dogs are fully vaccinated and on heartworm preventative 12 months a year, make sure that they have permission from their landlord to have a dog, and that any pet deposit is paid.

Contact Boxer Rescue but expect to find out that they are full and not accepting owner surrenders. Do everything you can to keep the dog out of a city shelter, a dog's behavior can go down hill fast in a shelter environment.

Think harder about keeping this dog, you brought him into your life, you are responsible for him. Get him some more training, just have a conversation with a dog trainer, this may produce some solutions. Get a dog walker, take him to doggy day care, take care of yourself and get more sleep yourself before you make this big decision. The dog was your first baby, all he knows is you. Life with a tiny baby can be hard but it will get easier. Re-homing is hard and exhausting. August is a tough month to do it, so many people moving and making life transitions.

Think about what you can do to make the next 6 months better for you and the dog and then re-evaluate.

good luck!
ca
 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:21 AM
 
845 posts, read 1,649,314 times
Reputation: 1064
You think there are just family's out there dying to take your used dog? Sorry, but unlikely. I don't get this idea that your dog will be "better off". He'll be better off if you realized you made a commitment to this animal that wasn't "until things change" or "until we get a real baby". He's your dog and your responsibility and part of your family. Suck it up and take care of him as you agreed when you got him.
 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Colorado
1,893 posts, read 3,426,991 times
Reputation: 2329
Wait, so why would you be giving him up at 8 years old? I'm confused on that point. Are you saying you planned on getting rid of him at 8 years old anyhow regardless of his condition, etc?

Anyhow, I am trying to refrain from injecting my personal opinion on those that give up a dog because they have a child. I would ask that you contact a boxer rescue in your area and 'foster' your dog until a responsible, dog-loving person is willing to adopt him/her.

Lastly, I think you meant to write that "DOG is man's best friend until it becomes inconvient."
 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:48 AM
 
130 posts, read 326,305 times
Reputation: 45
"DOG is man's best friend until it becomes inconvient."
Suck it up and take care of him as you agreed when you got him
<< Liking this brutally honest comments.

Few corrections:
1. I had no intentions to leave him at 3 or 8. It was just a number,I choose. Was not aware that having a baby is so painstaking and can not give enough attention/time to the dog.
2. Actually not thought of foster home / walker. I will dig into this now.
3. The very reason, I'm posting in this forum is to see what is the ideal way to handle such stressful situation. As of now, we are leaning/talking to adopt him out for potential owners. Just going through such a state of mind itself is overwhelming for me. Please do not misconstrue nor consider that dog is becoming pain now. He is not, just that we are unable to handle and obviously the baby has to get higher priority as of now.

Thanks a bunch!
 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
16,232 posts, read 25,466,874 times
Reputation: 25187
Just my opinion:

Even though your dog is not getting as much attention now as compared to what he was used to, it doesn't mean that your dog isn't perfectly happy being with you and your baby. (Congratulations on the new family member, by the way!)

As time goes on, as your baby grows up (and becomes your dog's very best friend in the whole wide world), it will become easier for all of you to handle the situation. You'll get into a pattern (such as feed the baby, feed the dog, etc...). Everything becomes easier as you grow accustomed to it.

I hope you'll reconsider. I hope you'll keep your dog in the home that he loves... and where he's loved. Even if he's not getting 100% of the love right now, he's part of your family.
 
Old 08-01-2011, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Colorado
1,893 posts, read 3,426,991 times
Reputation: 2329
Quote:
Originally Posted by didadi View Post
"DOG is man's best friend until it becomes inconvient."
Suck it up and take care of him as you agreed when you got him
<< Liking this brutally honest comments.

Few corrections:
1. I had no intentions to leave him at 3 or 8. It was just a number,I choose. Was not aware that having a baby is so painstaking and can not give enough attention/time to the dog.
2. Actually not thought of foster home / walker. I will dig into this now.
3. The very reason, I'm posting in this forum is to see what is the ideal way to handle such stressful situation. As of now, we are leaning/talking to adopt him out for potential owners. Just going through such a state of mind itself is overwhelming for me. Please do not misconstrue nor consider that dog is becoming pain now. He is not, just that we are unable to handle and obviously the baby has to get higher priority as of now.

Thanks a bunch!
Your original post made it sound like that you had already determined that you would be getting rid of the dog at some point and that age 8 was it?

Still confused.
 
Old 08-01-2011, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,284 posts, read 49,863,906 times
Reputation: 67148
Um, I know about 5000 people who had a dog and then had a baby and everyone is fine. In fact, one of my closest friends had FOUR dogs and then had a baby. Everyone is great now...kid's 6 years old and loves her dogs.

What is up with you guys that makes it impossible to do both?

I would chew my own arm off before I give up my dog. It's completely incomprehensible to me...in fact, I know my older dog LOVES babies (she used to watch my friend's first son)...and my younger dog adores children (she follows them everywhere).

My wife is pregnant now. We look forward to this baby and we look forward to the dogs helping us take care of him. Actually, I'll be honest with you - I am kind of expecting the dogs to help be guardians.

Is it that your dog is not trained and it seems overwhelming to deal with him? Train him, then!
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