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My dog is 12 years old. He's part German Shepard, part Lab. He has arthritis pretty bad- his front legs are cocked at such a weird angle so much that he almost looks like he has a pitbull stance. He's wobbly when he walks. It's hard for him to stand up- the other day it had to take him a couple of tries. He is on Tramadol. He's very restless and always walking around. He also has very hoarse panting and barking. It hurts to squat to go poop, as when he tries to squat his back legs are shaking, so sometimes he has to walk around pooping. As of the past 2 months, he's also taken to pooping in the house, usually once a day.
My mother told me how she waited until her dog was about 15 (dalmatian), really deteriorating- in pain, arthritis, pooping and peeing, half blind, half deaf, walking into walls, and one day she came down to a puddle of blood.....I have 2 children, and I do not want to wait until my dog is half dead, put my dog through all of that, and put my kids through all of that. But, I also don't want to put him to sleep too early, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself. How do I know when it's right? And please don't say "you'll know".......I don't want to wait until the point where things tumble into hell, but I also don't want to do it when he's not ready. Please help.
What, exactly, is wrong with putting a dog to sleep "too early"?
Honest question. And, I understand the feeling because I have been there at least twice.
To many people "it's time" seems to be when the dog is in unbearable pain or misery, and has deteriorated for a very long time. Who wants that for a beloved family member?
I had an epiphany 2 1/2 years ago. Late in the previous year, an amazing Rottweiler I had started having some lameness and soreness - very noticeable because he was an agility champion and we were very active. Initially he was misdiagnosed by the ortho vet....long story short, after a surgery, physical therapy and then a trip to MSU to see a world expert in canine elbow reconstruction, turns out he had bone cancer (second Rottweiler I had lost to bone cancer.) I did some alternative/botanical meds, special diet, supplements, ultrasounds, chemo, I did a radical amputation for pain control - which "bought" him 8 1/2 pretty damn good weeks before it hit his spleen and at that point he was done. That was April. Now...this dog had heart like you wouldn't believe and I remember sitting on the floor with him at the exam room at MSU and deciding that at that point, he didn't want to die - he just wanted the pain to be done with. So, I did that for him. But when it went to his spleen and he started bleeding internally (it happened very fast), he knew and I knew.
In December that year, my other senior Rottweiler girl came up limping. I was sick because I just knew - and the vet confirmed. Her right foreleg was so eaten away with cancer that it looked like swiss cheese, full of holes. At that point she was feeling pretty good, not much pain yet - but she was at risk any moment of the leg shattering into pieces and putting her in agonizing pain. I brought her home and thought about it for a day - and realised that a: I did not have the financial resources to go through what was basically going to be an unwinnable battle again. b: This dog was not as mentally tough as my other one....she would have been extremely distressed by multiple procedures. c: Mainly, I did not want my beloved, silly old girl to hurt or be in pain. So I decided to let her go while she still felt good. She and my other dog got a long walk at the river park (her favourite place), then we headed to the vet, where they were lovely and understanding, she got the shot and left easily while feeling good and loved.
I was very conflicted about this at first but afterwards I honestly thought it was the best for her.
Several years previously I had another tough old girl who was possibly a GSD x Lab, who knows....but her arthritis and joint degeneration got really bad. She went for months and months and months stoically barely able to stand or walk but always responsive. I remember begging my vet for something, anything, to make her hurt less. He had nothing to offer and I let her go on for about another six months. Looking back, I realised my vet (who is pretty wise) had been trying to tell me at the time that it was time to let her go but I simply couldn't hear it. But in retrospect I feel awful - I let a vital, active, brave, wonderful dog suffer for at least six months because I was afraid it was "too soon."
But the "too soon" was for my comfort, not for hers. I didn't know that until later, though.
So, I guess you sort of know where I am going here, advice-wise. It's a hard, hard place to be and I am so sorry.
My little guy had some like problems, along with cataracts. He got to where he didn't really know where he was. Finally he started urinating in his sleep, I realized there was no more time to wait... just yesterday morning.
I would think his pacing and barking is his sending you a message. Sounds like it's time for you to start looking into the process, take some big steps. He's gonna love you either way.
If it were my dog and from what you described---the time is here. My mom waited a bit too long with her shepherd mix and it haunts me to this day to see her being lifted into the car for that last trip, she stumbled and fell to the ground. Not pretty.
Either way you look at it, the end is very near. I would rather take that last step a bit sooner than later. To me, it's more humane.
If it were my dog and from what you described---the time is here. My mom waited a bit too long with her shepherd mix and it haunts me to this day to see her being lifted into the car for that last trip, she stumbled and fell to the ground. Not pretty.
Either way you look at it, the end is very near. I would rather take that last step a bit sooner than later. To me, it's more humane.
When it was time The vet was a trusted friend who helped him cross to the bridge .. I suggest you ask the vet and then follow thru with love and care for your family friend
I hate this part...and it never gets easier, no matter how many times you have to go through it (how many dogs, cats, etc...)
Perhaps going through these questions will get you closer to the answer you seek...
1. Is he having more good days than bad days?
2. Can he still do the things he loves to do best?
3. Is he in pain or discomfort that can't be relieved?
4. Is he eating and drinking?
When it is clear that comfort is no longer possible, it is time for euthanasia. I find it so difficult to let a family member/pet/friend go...but then I have to look at their life and ask myself, are they living or surviving? I ask myself the above questions and as a woman of faith, I pray...for guidance.
Personally, I want to hold on and hold out, and yes, I am being selfish...but then I think about my beloved friend and know I must let them go, especially if they are in unrelieved pain, are not eating or drinking, can no longer walk, etc.
This is a difficult decision. I too am facing this with my 17 year old Shih Tzu. He is blind and deaf, has been for two years or so. He still wolfs down his food (his favorite thing to do..eat), goes potty outside and is not in any pain. So, I wait and watch. If he does not eat, I will believe that it is time, not once in 17 years has he refused a meal. And of coarse, if he is suffering constant unmanageable pain, I will put him down.
He is my friend, and I do not want my friend to suffer.
So sorry that you are having to make this difficult decision, please do what's best for your little buddy.
I was always told to make a list of the top 7 things my dog loved to do and when I found myself starting to cross things he/she was no longer able to do off of it I would know it was time as quality of life at that point is not great: However that does not always work as sometimes you have to make the decision based on what you feel is best not for you but for the dog. A year ago my Jazz was 14.5 and had developed some swelling behind her eye, other then that she was healthy, active and most people thought she was a lot younger.The eye specialitst felt it was the zygomatic salivary gland and either it was blocked or had a tumor. While getting the swelling worked up, she had an MRI done and two days later as we waited for the results her eye ruptured but self sealed right away. I dropped her at my vets to have him look at it and he called the MRI place and got the results and they felt it looked like a tumor in the zygomatic gland so because a ruptured eye is very painful my vet called me and said you have to make a decision right now either I get on the phone and find a specialist that can do surgery today or you put her down. Jazz was a dog that hated vets and hated being away from me and the surgery would be a difficult one and she would have to stay at the vets a few days so I decided the kindest and fairest thing I could do for her was to let her go and not expect her to endure a brutal surgery just because I did not want to say good bye yet. I went to the vets and they had her on pain meds but I took her for one last walk and as we got back to the vets she bee-lined for my car and when I told her no we had to go back inside the vets she stomped her feet and argued with me..so no she was not ready to leave me yet but I knew in my heart that it was what was best for her, hard as it was the thought of her being in pain and having half of her face removed and probably not surviving a lot longer as it most likely was cancer was even more difficult for me. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but also the most unselfish act of love I coud give her and that was no more pain and a pain free death. I miss her everyday but I do not regret my decision as she deserved to be spared anymore pain.
Death as much as we dislike it is just a part of life and quality of life should be much more important that quanity. I had a friend who lost her daughter to CF at 19 but I will tell you she let her daughter live and did not baby her because of her illness like so many do and that girl lived a very full life, short yes but full and very high quality and that is what should matter. They could have dragged out her life a few more weeks in an ICU on a ventilator but even she knew that that quality of life just was not worth it and that she wanted no part of that and instead choose to die while she still had some dignity and I thinks dogs would prefer that too.
As my vet told me many years ago with my first dog who at 14 had heart trouble and lymphoma " while I do not think today is the day just know that from this day forward there is no wrong day to put her to sleep.
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But, I also don't want to put him to sleep too early, because I wouldn't be able to live with myself. How do I know when it's right? And please don't say "you'll know".......I don't want to wait until the point where things tumble into hell, but I also don't want to do it when he's not ready. Please help.
Never an easy answer...
