Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It stuck me that except the part about the leash this could have been written by any foster child. So many are lost in the system, shuttled from home to home like some pets are. Why can't we take better care of the dear vulnerable ones left in our care?
At least there are generous people willing to pick up the pieces and try again.
I tread very gently around Artie's tender spots. Some people feel that I'm not actually training him to react properly by doing this. And they're probably right. And some people say that I'm not "showing him who's boss." And they're definitely right.
BUT...
At this point in his life -- after all the hell that he's been through -- I only want him to know happiness. I don't want him to know gruff voices -- I only want him to know my soft voice. I don't want him to know pain -- I only want him to know my gentle touch.
I have a dog walker who is a "great proponent of Cesar Milan's methods" (her words). I told her before she came the first time:
"As much as I admire Cesar Milan, Artie does not respond well to tough love. He responds much better to positive reinforcement, rather than being shown who’s boss. Cesar’s alpha roll is a definite no-no for Artie -- his belly is his gift to you and not something that can or should be forced."
I love what you do -- or don't do, as the case may be -- for Eloise and Dodger and George. "Tender spots" -- such a perfect phrase to use. I'm weepy again now.
Artie is as lucky to have you as you are to have Artie.
Got to me.....same effect tears and tightness in the throat. I have two rescue dogs now and one abandoned dog before these two.....and the op poem is like their story.....the first one had been seriously neglected after she outgrew puppyhood.....chained outside all day...without protection even when she went into heat......her owners eventually moved out in the night and left her in a kennel that was too small for her to stand or turn around. The landlord offered her to me...when he discovered her in the abandoned apartment. When I went over to meet her.....she was frightened and shy.....had little reason to trust anyone.....but she put up one paw in a pleading manner....and with her downcast eyes.....asked if she could be my dog. That was my Hannah.....a beautiful girl. An American Indian once asked me...."How old do you think she is?" I told him that I knew when she was born and at the time he asked she was about 5. He said, "Oh no.....she is much much older than that.....look into her face.....she has a very old soul."
Then I met McKenzie.....a friendly and happy terrier mix. When I asked the humane society staff why she was there.....as she was reportedly good with kids, other dogs, cats...over all friendly. they said....she cant be housebroken....she has been adopted and brought back 3 times.
I soon found that McKenzie associated going to the bathroom with being a bad dog. She would find the furthest corner of the house and do her business and then when we happened to go near where she had gone....she would cower and shake. She would never go while out on walks....because she didnt want us to see her do "the bad thing"....the thing that got her taken back to the shelter. It took awhile but we were able to get thru that phase....by unconditionally loving her...and never even letting her see us clean up the mess....let alone scold her. it took patience.
And our little beagle girl....had been on the road in Tennessee and tho only a year old....had been thru a lot....she was hit and hurt. She was finally caught with her shattered leg so badly infected it had to be amputated. She must have been in terrible pain.....and frightened. Little lost hound dog....hiding and running. Fortunately the head of the humane society saw her "on the road" and was able to coax her in....and like the Good Samaratan....take her to a vet and have her wounds tended to....and then to list her on Petfinders where we found her. Little Allie still thnks she is invincable and she is spunky and independent.....but she loves her new family.....and keeps us laughing and smiling. She is a beautiful little red and white beagle with soulful eyes and enourmous ears.
They all come with baggage.....but it doesnt take much to help them unpack it....and replace the old bad experiences with love and trust and a sense of self.
I soon found that McKenzie associated going to the bathroom with being a bad dog. She would find the furthest corner of the house and do her business and then when we happened to go near where she had gone....she would cower and shake. She would never go while out on walks....because she didnt want us to see her do "the bad thing"....the thing that got her taken back to the shelter. It took awhile but we were able to get thru that phase....by unconditionally loving her...and never even letting her see us clean up the mess....let alone scold her. it took patience.
omg, sounds like my dog Gigi has this same baggage. We've had here for 1.5 years now and she STILL poops in the house sometime. When you say "it took a while"---how long was that?
I'm going to follow your lead her and never let her see us cleaning up. But you know what, she can poop in the house for the rest of her life and we would NEVER give her up.
I adopted a dog from neighbors who got him as a neglected pound puppy (how did a cattle dog mix end up in a failing mill town?) and the neighbors let him run wild. I learned later that he'd bitten the kids (they said "he is too protective of the kids) and I took him home. When he laid down facing away from me and I went to pet him, he bared his teeth. Well, I'd see those TV shows, and I verbally dominated him. So guess what, he bit me. Duh. I started a fight with a frightened, unknown dog.
Now, if he bares his teeth if he thinks I'm hovering over him, I say calmly, No Teeth, and don't pet him unless he turns around and requests it.
Not all shelter adoptees have huge issues. So many are taken as puppies, raised, then the happy couple buys a house, has a baby, and "doesn't have time for the dog." Not all animals in shelters have been so badly abused or neglected, but if they have been, of course you can work with it/live with it.
My Benny was from hoarding at age 11(?) and in very poor health. He lost 30 pounds, got his ACL fixed, and became my very happy terrier/chow? mix. He likes to spend a lot of time alone, doesn't like the others bumping into him, and loves to lie in the sun outside by himself. No big deal. Lately, he has taken to hanging around closer to me, and even got on the bed one night.
Because my adoptees are seniors, I don't know how long they were hoarded or abused or whatever. They might have had decent homes at some point. For my dogs from West Warwick RI (a tough town and a tough little shelter with a loving heart), I think the dogs might have had a good person at some point but that person died or went to jail and whoever had them didn't do right by the. The ones that are "strays," abandoned to the streets, who knows.
I trust living peacefully with these guys than my own ability to train puppies, although, RIP Kiko and Kona, you guys were a blast!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
