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In August of 2007 my girlfriend at the time and I adopted a dog from one of her friends who had puppies. We broke up about 14 months later and she moved 4 hours away because of a job promotion. We had an agreement to share the dog off and on for one or two months at a time. She travels for work constantly and has to leave for weeks at a time and her company is headquartered in the city I still live in so it worked out very well for her to drive down here, drop the dog off with me for a while and then pick him up when she wasn't going to be traveling in the foreseeable future.
Last month she decided she was done sharing him because of her own personal reasons which she won't accurately reveal to me.
I am contemplating the idea of meeting with a lawyer and determining if it is a good idea to sue her for full ownership of the dog OR for back payment for all the times I watched him and fed him and took him to the vet and groomings, since apparently according to her, he was never really my dog.
I do not want to go this route but think it might be necessary to bring the balance back to the point where we shared him. She goes out of town on business all the time and really is in no position to be a good doggy-mama. I have no idea who she leaves him with now when she goes out of town, but if it is anyone, it should be me.
Thanks for listening and all feedback is appreciated. Also, please don't tell me to just go get a new dog, I want MY dog.
In August of 2007 my girlfriend at the time and I adopted a dog from one of her friends who had puppies. We broke up about 14 months later and she moved 4 hours away because of a job promotion. We had an agreement to share the dog off and on for one or two months at a time. She travels for work constantly and has to leave for weeks at a time and her company is headquartered in the city I still live in so it worked out very well for her to drive down here, drop the dog off with me for a while and then pick him up when she wasn't going to be traveling in the foreseeable future.
Last month she decided she was done sharing him because of her own personal reasons which she won't accurately reveal to me.
I am contemplating the idea of meeting with a lawyer and determining if it is a good idea to sue her for full ownership of the dog OR for back payment for all the times I watched him and fed him and took him to the vet and groomings, since apparently according to her, he was never really my dog.
I do not want to go this route but think it might be necessary to bring the balance back to the point where we shared him. She goes out of town on business all the time and really is in no position to be a good doggy-mama. I have no idea who she leaves him with now when she goes out of town, but if it is anyone, it should be me.
Thanks for listening and all feedback is appreciated. Also, please don't tell me to just go get a new dog, I want MY dog.
It's unfortunate that this happened, and I feel for you. I don't know that the shared custody idea was so workable though. It's hard enough on kids when their parents split up, and dogs have no idea what happened. It seems that having two homes and two owners so far apart would be confusing, and might cause issues for the dog at one or both homes. Driller is right. There are many, many dogs that need homes.
As far as suing her for your expenses, only you can decide that. I understand your being angry, about this and probably about other things too. But if it were me, I'd walk away from it. It's hard to make a fresh start when you're wrangling with someone legally, and the amount of money wouldn't be worth it to me. Better to chalk it up to experience and move on with your new life.
Yeah I am also suspecting this is the case. But if the roles were reversed I would never, ever try to take the dog away from her. It just really burns me up that she thinks this is even a remotely logical or moral decision. After a couple emails didn't work, I think a letter from a lawyer might make her see the truth. And I have told her, this has nothing to do with me trying to get you back or whatever, it's 100% about the dog. If it wasn't for the dog we would have stopped talking years ago.
Yeah I am also suspecting this is the case. But if the roles were reversed I would never, ever try to take the dog away from her. It just really burns me up that she thinks this is even a remotely logical or moral decision. After a couple emails didn't work, I think a letter from a lawyer might make her see the truth. And I have told her, this has nothing to do with me trying to get you back or whatever, it's 100% about the dog. If it wasn't for the dog we would have stopped talking years ago.
Is both your names on the dog's registration papers???
1: whos name is on the registration or adoption papers?
2: a judge will consider this a waste of resources, your NOT going to get back pay for the times you wated the og OR vet care because at the time you had a verbal agreement that you were "sharing" him...you didnt ask she pay for bording or vet expenses ect so you cant change your mind now for a past event...
my opinion...call her and talk to her, theres alot of pettyness going on here, explain that you mis the dog,your upset things whent this way and you just want to know her reasons, explain that your also upset because shes away all the time ect...
if you want to spend the money getting a laywer, well the theory goes as long as you can pay, theyll do whatever you want...so thats up to you...but if this was to escalate further, youd probbaly be told to get out of the judges sight....
Unless you have something in writing, agreeing to share the dog, I'm afraid you are out of luck. Now, "writing" could be text messages, emails, or even recordings if you live in a one party consent state...etc.
If you don't have that, it is my opinion based on experience, you need to let go and move on. I know it's hard and it hurts but the law is the law.
Try to judge objectively (this isn't easy) what's best for the dog, what the dog would prefer. Is the dog glad to go with her? Are there any behavioral signs indicating a problem? What's her new boyfriend like? Will he hate the dog because of you? He's obviously making the demand that she break off contact with you since she never objected previously.
Talk to an attorney. Find out if you can work out at least an evaluation in a couple months performed by a credentialed animal behaviorist.
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