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Old 06-23-2012, 10:14 AM
Status: "Never have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
22,995 posts, read 14,489,477 times
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like it or not, the mom is usually the one who is primarily responsible for pets and if she isn't interested or on board then this will be a huge mess. mom, you will be the one expected to keep up with medical issues, like worming, shots, flea and tick control, proper food, grooming, etc. No matter what the others say it will eventually fall to you.

Please adjust your attitude and get excited about this new family member or be truthful and tell them it will not be good to bring a puppy into your home. You owe this honesty to your whole family as well as the dog.
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Old 06-23-2012, 12:11 PM
 
3,551 posts, read 4,485,065 times
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I don't know about "a family pet". Sure, in our family people like to play/cuddle with the dog, but there is only one person responsible for meeting all the dog's needs, - and that's me.

I, too, wasn't a dog person - until we had to get one 2 months ago, due to breaking of my son's extreme fear of dogs. (In that sense, it's going well). The kids are 7 and 9, a bit under the age of being able to take a full responsibility for the dog. Honestly, I have been feeling like I got another baby for the last 2 months (he's 4 months old now), albeit the growth is much faster than with a human baby. Now I feel like I have two 7 year olds when the puppy and my son are playing together.

I think only one person should feed the dog so it is clear at all times how much the dog ate. The walks/playtime can be done by anyone BUT this 4 month old puppy is 50 lbs already, so it's getting harder for the kids to control still erratic jerks on the leash. So me again. The hubby had had a dog, also a Lab, and warned about the work involved, - but we didn't have a choice. He basically happily gave me all the physical responsibility about the dog.

I love the dog, I love his intelligent eyes, but I have read books also, and understand that he needs to be treated as an animal, not a person.

The only complaint of this formerly cat-only person is the roughness. The climbing over my dd's face with his huge paws when greeting her in the morning in her bed (as a puppy he is just slowly learning), and 50 lbs of puppy climbing over your face does jolt you. My 9yo dd, who had an idea of cute fluffy puppies and kittens, still tries to "cuddle" with him, ending up covering her head. He licks our faces, not bites, but still - the hyperactivity of a dog is so startlingly different from a cat. We are at home all the time, so he is not stuffed in a crate, he's not hyperactive like the dogs waiting for 8-9 hours in a crate, it's just the Roughness and the Clumsiness of a dog is still getting used to here.

The amount of STUFF strewn on the floor as he's trying to find stuff to chew on... That's a huge difference with a cat-only house. He strongly prefers stuff he finds, not commercial toys. For example, handles of small brooms, toilet brush, my old flip-flops that I gave him (he's good about not chewing any other shoes), stuffed animal toys of my dd, balls of yarn if he can get them, paper....

And yet he's SO good in terms of having NO problems that you read about in books. Just a good-natured, trainable dog. But the level of yelling NO! has gone up in our house definitely.

Last edited by nuala; 06-23-2012 at 12:22 PM..
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Old 06-23-2012, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Denver area
16,720 posts, read 11,203,369 times
Reputation: 18284
Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala View Post
I don't know about "a family pet". Sure, in our family people like to play/cuddle with the dog, but there is only one person responsible for meeting all the dog's needs, - and that's me.

I, too, wasn't a dog person - until we had to get one 2 months ago, due to breaking of my son's extreme fear of dogs. (In that sense, it's going well). The kids are 7 and 9, a bit under the age of being able to take a full responsibility for the dog. Honestly, I have been feeling like I got another baby for the last 2 months (he's 4 months old now), albeit the growth is much faster than with a human baby. Now I feel like I have two 7 year olds when the puppy and my son are playing together.

I think only one person should feed the dog so it is clear at all times how much the dog ate. The walks/playtime can be done by anyone BUT this 4 month old puppy is 50 lbs already, so it's getting harder for the kids to control still erratic jerks on the leash. So me again. The hubby had had a dog, also a Lab, and warned about the work involved, - but we didn't have a choice. He basically happily gave me all the physical responsibility about the dog.

I love the dog, I love his intelligent eyes, but I have read books also, and understand that he needs to be treated as an animal, not a person.

The only complaint of this formerly cat-only person is the roughness. The climbing over my dd's face with his huge paws when greeting her in the morning in her bed (as a puppy he is just slowly learning), and 50 lbs of puppy climbing over your face does jolt you. My 9yo dd, who had an idea of cute fluffy puppies and kittens, still tries to "cuddle" with him, ending up covering her head. He licks our faces, not bites, but still - the hyperactivity of a dog is so startlingly different from a cat. We are at home all the time, so he is not stuffed in a crate, he's not hyperactive like the dogs waiting for 8-9 hours in a crate, it's just the Roughness and the Clumsiness of a dog is still getting used to here.

The amount of STUFF strewn on the floor as he's trying to find stuff to chew on... That's a huge difference with a cat-only house. He strongly prefers stuff he finds, not commercial toys. For example, handles of small brooms, toilet brush, my old flip-flops that I gave him (he's good about not chewing any other shoes), stuffed animal toys of my dd, balls of yarn if he can get them, paper....

And yet he's SO good in terms of having NO problems that you read about in books. Just a good-natured, trainable dog. But the level of yelling NO! has gone up in our house definitely.

Are you actively training your puppy? If not, please please take the time and effort to do so. Pups can certainly be taught to not be on beds and furniture if that is your preference. And responsible crate training does not mean "stuffing" a dog into a crate for 8 hours a day.

And yes a 50 lb dog is different than a 15 lb cat.

Also be aware that all those "found" objects can end up being swallowed and cause medical issues so please be careful and encourage him to chew on only appropriate things. Swallowed yarn or string can kill a dog. Please be careful for the pup's sake and your own in dealing with expensive vet bills and potential heartbreak.
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Old 06-23-2012, 12:48 PM
 
3,551 posts, read 4,485,065 times
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Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Are you actively training your puppy? If not, please please take the time and effort to do so. Pups can certainly be taught to not be on beds and furniture if that is your preference. And responsible crate training does not mean "stuffing" a dog into a crate for 8 hours a day.

And yes a 50 lb dog is different than a 15 lb cat.

Also be aware that all those "found" objects can end up being swallowed and cause medical issues so please be careful and encourage him to chew on only appropriate things. Swallowed yarn or string can kill a dog. Please be careful for the pup's sake and your own in dealing with expensive vet bills and potential heartbreak.
Yes, we are training the puppy, according to his age (4 months old): Sit, Down, Stay, Out, Let's go, Come, Drop, Fetch. It's a process. Some days better than others.

The crate was mentioned to ward off the "he needs to exercise after sitting in a crate" comments, but apparently the fact that he's not in a crate, is not good, neither?

Yes, I know that a 50 lbs dog is different than a 15 lbs cat, and that was my point to Ivory, who asked what to expect. If she's getting anything like a Lab, I was telling her how a "puppy" is not really a cuddly little thing.

The "found" objects was given as an example to Ivory (from a new dog owner to a new dog owner) as to what she may expect in her house. I am aware of the dangers, thank you very much.
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Old 06-23-2012, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Denver area
16,720 posts, read 11,203,369 times
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Glad to hear you are doing that. It was unclear from your post since you didn't mention any kind of training and did say the puppy was getting difficult to control. Regarding the crate - it sounded to me as if you found crate training inhumane. It's not inhumane if done properly. Whether or not you choose to use it really depends on your needs as a family but for many people and dogs it's a wonderful tool.

I'm glad you are aware that ingested items can cause health issues. I've been sitting in the vet's office and hearing about surgery to save dogs that have ingested string, dental floss, wrapping ribbon etc. So, it was simply a warning.

I wish you the best with your pup.
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Old 06-23-2012, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Texas
27,475 posts, read 21,157,961 times
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In this case, he is a puppy and he WILL chill out when he gets older.

Meanwhile, wear him out. My dog is amazing when she gets regularly worn out.
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Old 06-23-2012, 03:07 PM
 
3,551 posts, read 4,485,065 times
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Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
In this case, he is a puppy and he WILL chill out when he gets older.

Meanwhile, wear him out. My dog is amazing when she gets regularly worn out.
I do feel like I can't really relax yet. People tell me, too, that at the 1-year mark it will get better, and the large breeds really become adults at 2 yo. I get it! Meanwhile..... I find that 50% of my mental power is constantly devoted to monitoring the dog. Thanks god he is smart and took only 1 month to housebreak, but I just can't relax! Warding off him getting into the cat food (rearranging things, so the poor 10-year old cats now have to climb on counters, which I didn't like allowing before...), keeping from him getting too rough with the kids, from checking out the counters, from picking the wrong stuff to chew, and on and on.... Before anyone says anything about the crate, - he is good in the crate when we leave him for a few hours when we are away. I did start a thread about me trying to keep him in the crate at night, and how that wasn't working, and I had to move into another building, and he sleeps now at the foot of my bed :

Go figure.... (crate or no crate)

- this arrangement is still going on, as I am waiting until he grows up when I can bring him back in the main house for the night. It's tough! But I don't trust him, yet, with free reign in the main house during the night. During the day it just doesn't make sense to keep him in a crate, as he's a people' dog and likes being around you as you go about your day outside.

But some things that I took for granted previously, like spreading patterns and fabric on the floor - na-ah!

Ivory, I found the first month, especially, from 8 to 12 weeks, challenging. And I was 100% of time with him. I may over-exercised him, as I didn't know how often he needed to walk at that age. After 14 weeks, especially, it got much easier. Still, like another poster said, puppies need a lot of attention. The good thing is, your daughter will definitely be busy.
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Old 06-23-2012, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Arizona & Wisconsin
4,816 posts, read 5,516,408 times
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Unless I'm misreading this, it sounds like you have already decided that you don't like the thing. Either get on board, or don't take the puppy home. That's all there is to it. You will have to do something at some point.

Dogs require work, patience, and training. Some more than others. They also require a certain amount of tolerance especially when they are younger. They can be a lot of fun, but if you've already decided you can't be arsed with taking care of the thing, save everyone the trouble.
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Old 06-23-2012, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Northern California
912 posts, read 687,459 times
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Puppies are a pain in the butt. If you don't want to deal with the housetraining, chewing, digging, jumping up, nipping, and other habits you have to train out of a puppy, you shouldn't get one. It will not work out if one of the adults in charge is not on board, because the whole family needs to be involved.
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Old 06-23-2012, 05:20 PM
 
Location: ๏̯͡๏﴿ Gwinnett-That's a Civil Matter-County
2,117 posts, read 2,139,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post

My question is how to dogs fare around people who really don't care for dogs? Does anyone have any advice for making this go smoothly? Dh and dd are going to take care of training and caring for the dog. I know dogs are pack animals. How do they respond to a human who isn't taking charge?
I will try to answer these questions.
My mother is terrified of dogs. She's not terrified of my dogs but doesn't want to have anything to do with them either. When she comes to visit, she just ignores them and they ignore her back. They seem to pick up on that not wanting to be friends vibe from her so they just don't go near her (without telling them). She might as well be a statue.

As long as there is someone to take charge and assuming the dog gets plenty of exercise and obedience training from your daughter or husband and doesn't have any major behavioral problems then I would expect your dog to pretty much regard you as the lady who doesn't want to be friends. At least in adolescence.

In the past, I've had my mother give them commands. At first, they're like "whoah.. is the statue talking to me?" TBut when they get over the shock, they obey.

I would strongly disagree with the other posters about not getting a puppy because one person in the family isn't a dog person. It only takes one committed person. Your daughter is lucky to have this opportunity should she be 100% dedicated to caring for the dog and it would be sad for her to miss out on that opportunity like I did because of my mother who had a phobia.
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