U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Pets > Dogs
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-20-2013, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
16,669 posts, read 26,742,436 times
Reputation: 26642

Advertisements

I know that I haven't been around the forum for a while and I hate coming back with this post, but I know that a lot of you know and love Artie, so I thought it was only fair.

Forgive the hodgepodge of this text -- it's an amalgamation of various emails and thoughts that have been sent out over the past few days.

I’m having Artie put down. He has a bite history and is particularly unnerved by children. He bit two men on the street in CT, and one in my house. One of those street times, I was threatened with a lawsuit (I settled before I was sued) and Artie had to be quarantined for 10 days. I had considered putting him down at the time, but I decided not to; I decided to be a stronger pack leader. He bit someone else -- in my house -- in MA. I then decided to be an even stronger pack leader. Once we moved to Montreal, I thought he’d changed for the better, except for the time he snapped at my father and nipped my cousin’s kids. And he had for a while, but his aggression is completely random and completely unprovoked. We pass a lot of people on the sidewalk and he’s usually fine and just ignores them or, even more positively, stops to sniff them. However, on four separate occasions, with absolutely no warning from him and no provocation from them, he snapped at people, with teeth touching skin. Four times. I can’t keep putting people at risk. He is very strong -- stronger than I am -- and I can’t control him enough. And whatever it is in him that needs to be controlled must be either painful or scary for him, and that’s not a good life. I give him a perfect life when it’s just him and I alone, but that’s not life -- that’s seclusion, which isn’t fair for either of us. I tried to make him better, to fix his wiring, to make him a truly happy dog. I tried for more than seven years, but in the last few months -- with random “attacks” -- it’s gotten worse and I can’t risk the repercussions. I had a behaviorist work with him in CT and he concluded that Artie is a classic bully, that perhaps the abuse that he suffered as a puppy made him that way. I know that he’s possessive and protective of me, but this goes beyond that -- it’s utterly random, unpredictable aggression and, when he came to me all those years ago, he was already a loose cannon. I’m in denial most of the time -- because most of the time he’s good, because we’re on our own -- but then when an “event” occurs, I’m shot back into reality and realize that this is terrible, that this is scary and random and dangerous. I have guilt that I’ll live with forever, I cry all the time, but it can’t go on. Please don’t think unkindly of me. I think it would be the kindest thing for him, for the strangers that we would encounter… but the unkindest thing for myself. I’ve struggled with this decision for years and, either way, I’ll have to live with it for the rest of my life. I promised him that mine would be the last face he sees before he's ready to leave this world. I think that the most difficult part of this decision is that I'm deciding that he's "ready" now.

If Artie had cancer, I wouldn’t hesitate to do what has to be done and, fact is, he IS sick… but it’s in his brain, his wiring. I had a solid think session about it last night and cried myself to sleep, “knowing” what I had to do. I woke up this morning and he looked at me with those eyes -- THOSE EYES!! -- and I thought, “how could I have contemplated putting him down last night???” But then, on our morning walk, I gave people that we were passing a wide berth of space and I realized that the thoughts that I’d had upon waking were because of my denial, not the reality.

It’s being done tonight, September 20 at 7:30.

A muzzle won’t do -- he gets beyond agitated and would bite me if I tried to put one on him. Meds haven’t worked, and neither have trainers and behaviorists. Rehoming him is obviously not an option. He's going to be 10 a week from today... and today I made the decision that he'll have no more birthdays.

Some of you have asked me if I'm going to be there -- right there -- with him when it's being done. I *am* going to be with him. From what I’ve been told, I will never regret being with him -- no matter how hard it is -- but I can regret *not* being there. Also, I made Artie a promise years ago, that mine would be the last face that he’d ever see. I want to be there kissing him, touching him, talking to him as he goes. He gave me so much love and saw me through so much pain -- I owe this to him. I don’t think that being there with him can feel any worse than what I’m already feeling. And if it turns out that it’s worse -- even far worse -- that’s fine. I owe him.

Artie taught me a lot -- about responsibility, about friendship, about loyalty, about love, and about devotion. He also helped me reinvent myself in the best ways -- to be true to myself, to be the real me, and to love with my whole heart. He showed me how to play and romp, and he also showed me how to relax and be calm. He gave me far more than I could ever have given him. The best part of what he taught me and showed me and gave me and changed me is that I can share it all with you and shower you with all that I now know about life and love.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-20-2013, 09:41 AM
 
Location: zone 5
7,330 posts, read 13,232,101 times
Reputation: 9611
Oh Dawn. I know nothing I can say will make it any better. You know how much love you've given him and how much work you've put into making him better and giving him a good life- any life for that matter! Without you he'd never have made it this far. It would be easier if, as you say, his problems were physical and not mental. The poor guy got a lousy break in the beginning of his life, and hit the jackpot when he met you. I know I'm not writing this as well as I could either, but I'm sitting here crying, knowing how much you loved each other. I'll be thinking of you tonight. Hugs to both of you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2013, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Washington, DC
3,848 posts, read 3,969,276 times
Reputation: 6494
This is heartbreaking to read Dawn, but it sounds like you've tried everything, so it is time. You gave him many good years and he is almost 10, which is a solid life for a dog, I hope you can accept death as routine(?) and adopt another dog when you are ready.

You'll have your memories and lots of cute photos, so in some way, he's not going anywhere.

B2NE
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2013, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
16,669 posts, read 26,742,436 times
Reputation: 26642
You said it perfectly, S2C. Perfectly. Thank you. xxo
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2013, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
16,669 posts, read 26,742,436 times
Reputation: 26642
Thank you, B2NE. Today I'm living the way that dogs live -- in the moment. xxo
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2013, 09:59 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,196,742 times
Reputation: 17201
Quote:
Originally Posted by DawnMTL View Post
I know that I haven't been around the forum for a while and I hate coming back with this post, but I know that a lot of you know and love Artie, so I thought it was only fair.

Forgive the hodgepodge of this text -- it's an amalgamation of various emails and thoughts that have been sent out over the past few days.

I’m having Artie put down. He has a bite history and is particularly unnerved by children. He bit two men on the street in CT, and one in my house. One of those street times, I was threatened with a lawsuit (I settled before I was sued) and Artie had to be quarantined for 10 days. I had considered putting him down at the time, but I decided not to; I decided to be a stronger pack leader. He bit someone else -- in my house -- in MA. I then decided to be an even stronger pack leader. Once we moved to Montreal, I thought he’d changed for the better, except for the time he snapped at my father and nipped my cousin’s kids. And he had for a while, but his aggression is completely random and completely unprovoked. We pass a lot of people on the sidewalk and he’s usually fine and just ignores them or, even more positively, stops to sniff them. However, on four separate occasions, with absolutely no warning from him and no provocation from them, he snapped at people, with teeth touching skin. Four times. I can’t keep putting people at risk. He is very strong -- stronger than I am -- and I can’t control him enough. And whatever it is in him that needs to be controlled must be either painful or scary for him, and that’s not a good life. I give him a perfect life when it’s just him and I alone, but that’s not life -- that’s seclusion, which isn’t fair for either of us. I tried to make him better, to fix his wiring, to make him a truly happy dog. I tried for more than seven years, but in the last few months -- with random “attacks” -- it’s gotten worse and I can’t risk the repercussions. I had a behaviorist work with him in CT and he concluded that Artie is a classic bully, that perhaps the abuse that he suffered as a puppy made him that way. I know that he’s possessive and protective of me, but this goes beyond that -- it’s utterly random, unpredictable aggression and, when he came to me all those years ago, he was already a loose cannon. I’m in denial most of the time -- because most of the time he’s good, because we’re on our own -- but then when an “event” occurs, I’m shot back into reality and realize that this is terrible, that this is scary and random and dangerous. I have guilt that I’ll live with forever, I cry all the time, but it can’t go on. Please don’t think unkindly of me. I think it would be the kindest thing for him, for the strangers that we would encounter… but the unkindest thing for myself. I’ve struggled with this decision for years and, either way, I’ll have to live with it for the rest of my life. I promised him that mine would be the last face he sees before he's ready to leave this world. I think that the most difficult part of this decision is that I'm deciding that he's "ready" now.

If Artie had cancer, I wouldn’t hesitate to do what has to be done and, fact is, he IS sick… but it’s in his brain, his wiring. I had a solid think session about it last night and cried myself to sleep, “knowing” what I had to do. I woke up this morning and he looked at me with those eyes -- THOSE EYES!! -- and I thought, “how could I have contemplated putting him down last night???” But then, on our morning walk, I gave people that we were passing a wide berth of space and I realized that the thoughts that I’d had upon waking were because of my denial, not the reality.

It’s being done tonight, September 20 at 7:30.

A muzzle won’t do -- he gets beyond agitated and would bite me if I tried to put one on him. Meds haven’t worked, and neither have trainers and behaviorists. Rehoming him is obviously not an option. He's going to be 10 a week from today... and today I made the decision that he'll have no more birthdays.

Some of you have asked me if I'm going to be there -- right there -- with him when it's being done. I *am* going to be with him. From what I’ve been told, I will never regret being with him -- no matter how hard it is -- but I can regret *not* being there. Also, I made Artie a promise years ago, that mine would be the last face that he’d ever see. I want to be there kissing him, touching him, talking to him as he goes. He gave me so much love and saw me through so much pain -- I owe this to him. I don’t think that being there with him can feel any worse than what I’m already feeling. And if it turns out that it’s worse -- even far worse -- that’s fine. I owe him.

Artie taught me a lot -- about responsibility, about friendship, about loyalty, about love, and about devotion. He also helped me reinvent myself in the best ways -- to be true to myself, to be the real me, and to love with my whole heart. He showed me how to play and romp, and he also showed me how to relax and be calm. He gave me far more than I could ever have given him. The best part of what he taught me and showed me and gave me and changed me is that I can share it all with you and shower you with all that I now know about life and love.
It's very sad. Thank you for sharing your honest self assessment. It will be very helpful to other people reading in the future.

No, he will never change living with you. It's possible he wouldn't change living with another person, either and hopefully at least you pursued that possibility.

Of course you MUST be there. It's the least we can do. But please do not be all crying and dramatic etc. His last moments should be relaxed and normal not hyper emotional and filled with anxiety. He's had enough of that, no offense. That would be about YOU and tonight is about him. You promised to be a better pack leader years ago; now is the time to keep that promise. You owe him that much. You can do it, gurl. Take care.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2013, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
16,669 posts, read 26,742,436 times
Reputation: 26642
He will have that peace, runswithscissors. He's getting extra treats today but it's not a drama day. He will go with peace.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2013, 10:21 AM
 
3,339 posts, read 7,584,396 times
Reputation: 4251
OMG DAWN!!! What a mess of tears here!! I haven't finished reading yourpost yet, don't even know if I can. Ohhhhh, Artie!!!! I am so so so so so SORRY!!!! I cannot begin to imagine what youhave been through, Dawn, and my whole heart is with you today, tonight and for as long as you need it.

I can't believe I just read this, but I trust your judgement and whatever or however you approach this, I know it will be the right thing. I know you love him. I can't imagine anything more difficult. Godspeed, Artie.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2013, 10:27 AM
Status: "Support the Mining Law of 1872" (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: Cody, WY
9,571 posts, read 10,917,875 times
Reputation: 19200
Please at least postpone this. You can figure out easy ways to keep him away from people. Don't take him out when there are people or other dogs around; be sure to always have him in a closed room if it's necessary for anyone to come to your place. I've modified or put aside my social life for dogs because of biting problems in the past; you'll have a better life with your real friend and family. I've never regretted a decision to choose a dog over people; you won't either. I know several other people who have protected their dogs from the world as well. Not one has ever regretted it.

Please.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-20-2013, 10:41 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,071 posts, read 8,366,643 times
Reputation: 11554
I'm so sorry to hear this, but it sounds like you know you're doing the right thing. And I think you are too, but I know knowing you are doing the right thing does not make it any easier to really do. Artie has had a good life with you. A REALLY good life filled with a lot of love. You and Artie will be in my thoughts. (((Hugs)))
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Pets > Dogs
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top