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I have leashes but the problem is she is so small that even the XS sizes don't fit. The leashes and harnesses as well as collars basically fall off her... They are so loose that she can chew on the collar/harness as she's wearing it! I am going to the pet store this week and will see about ferret collars that someone suggested.
It doesn't matter how small your dog's neck is, a slip on leash fits any dog neck. This is what I'm talking about:
When you go to the pet store, ask them for a nylon slip on leash. (Do not get rope material, do not get leather, she is small, so get nylon.) They will show you what it is, and how to use it. You can make the loop that goes around her neck as wide as you want, so that you can slip it over her head. Once you have the loop around her neck, like a collar, you simply gently pull on your end, and it will be secure around her neck. This is the type of leash that many dog rescuers use when they are rescuing abandoned dogs out on the streets. This is how you don't get bitten if you need to take her to another room but she's acting up.
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Makes sense.... just hard to comprehend that my dog doesn't trust me. I never yell at her, and I've already went over the swats on the butt. No need to call PETA on this one... trust me.
You don't have to yell at your dog to make her not trust you. I am not sure that what I said is sinking in, so I'm going to say it again. It should NOT be difficult to believe that your dog does not trust you because....
You are not acting like a leader.
Your dog does not trust you because you are not leading her. A leader protects. A leader provides. You are not doing those things. Yes, you give her food, and yes you give her affection. What you have missed is leading. You have to lead FIRST, THEN be her friend, not the other way around, which is the way you have chosen. You can be your dog's friend, but you must first lead.
You don't have to be a parent to understand how to lead. I'm not a parent, either. That's not a valid excuse. You are treating your dog like a human baby, not a dog. It does not matter how small and cute she is, she is a dog. You can not forget that she is a dog. The size of the dog does not matter, in the end, they are all dogs, and they ALL have the same basic needs. The main need is leadership. You are not giving your dog leadership. That is why she does not trust you. It has nothing to do with yelling, it has everything to do with how you treat your dog. You're not treating her like a leader would, you are treating her like your equal. When you treat a dog like your equal, they will lose trust that you will protect them, because again, leaders protect. When you fail to lead, the dog WILL take over that role. And guess what? Your dog does not want that role. She wants to be a dog. YOU need to take on the leadership role and let your dog relax.
It doesn't matter how small your dog's neck is, a slip on leash fits any dog neck.
When you go to the pet store, ask them for a nylon slip on leash. I am not sure that what I said is sinking in, so I'm going to say it again. It should NOT be difficult to believe that your dog does not trust you because....
You are not acting like a leader.
Ok... will check on the leash. What you've said is sinking in just fine... I'm 39 and educated, not stupid.
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Originally Posted by Three Wolves In Snow
You don't have to be a parent to understand how to lead. I'm not a parent, either. That's not a valid excuse. You are treating your dog like a human baby, not a dog. It does not matter how small and cute she is, she is a dog. You can not forget that she is a dog. The size of the dog does not matter, in the end, they are all dogs, and they ALL have the same basic needs. The main need is leadership. You are not giving your dog leadership. That is why she does not trust you. It has nothing to do with yelling, it has everything to do with how you treat your dog. You're not treating her like a leader would, you are treating her like your equal. When you treat a dog like your equal, they will lose trust that you will protect them, because again, leaders protect. When you fail to lead, the dog WILL take over that role. And guess what? Your dog does not want that role. She wants to be a dog. YOU need to take on the leadership role and let your dog relax.
You're right. Thanks for the heads up.
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Originally Posted by runswithscissors
You have completely missed the POINT of what everyone said here.
DO NOT SMACK YOUR DOG FOR ANY REASON.
The fact this has to be said does not bode well for this poor little dog.
I may have missed the point of what YOU said but I will say this... I think YOU are blowing the whole "I smacked my dog on the bottom" WAY THE HELL OUT OF PROPORTION.
Let me rephrase... "I lightly slapped my dog with no intent to cause pain on the bottom one time."
Feel better now?
For the love of god stop talking to me like I'm some animal abuser and my dog cowers in fear every time I come home.
SERIOUSLY.
Last edited by Kees; 12-11-2013 at 07:18 AM..
Reason: ... added quote
I understand how hard it must be to read these comments but they are all
in direct response to what YOU have written.
Lastly , by "smacking" her on the bottom etc. you are telling her
that you are an unstable force and that is really what she is responding
to.
Easy, calm and gentle but firm and reliable is what you want to be.
same rules every day of this dogs life , that is what they thrive on.
What you're describing in following posts is more of a tap on the bottom to get the dog's attention, but what you said in your original post is smack, and you can't blame people for reacting to that, whichever move it is that you actually made.
I don't think you were being intentionally abusive, but as people are trying to tell you, any negative physical touch is going to set you way back with a dog that shows fear aggression. And this is a tiny dog. Think how big people look to your dog, and how threatening a hand coming at it from up high could seem whether it ends with a tap or hard smack. No matter what you were trying to do, you have to stop it. I know you are tired of people harping on this, but it's important.
I understand how hard it must be to read these comments but they are all
in direct response to what YOU have written.
Lastly , by "smacking" her on the bottom etc. you are telling her
that you are an unstable force and that is really what she is responding
to.
Easy, calm and gentle but firm and reliable is what you want to be.
Unstable I am not. I'm all about the easy calm approach. Even when she has gotten aggressive I've never once got angry at her for it.. it was more shocking really.. like "wow."
I want to fix it.
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Originally Posted by subject2change
What you're describing in following posts is more of a tap on the bottom to get the dog's attention, but what you said in your original post is smack, and you can't blame people for reacting to that, whichever move it is that you actually made.
I don't think you were being intentionally abusive, but as people are trying to tell you, any negative physical touch is going to set you way back with a dog that shows fear aggression. And this is a tiny dog. Think how big people look to your dog, and how threatening a hand coming at it from up high could seem whether it ends with a tap or hard smack. No matter what you were trying to do, you have to stop it. I know you are tired of people harping on this, but it's important.
It was 100% an attention getting tap on the bottom... I guess "smack" was the wrong word to use.
It absolutely is important... and I agree about negative physical contact... I'm not going there.
I wonder what people would say if I told everyone what happened last night... I brought her crate cage out of storage and set it up in the living room to use as a "aggressive behavior timeout" if needed. I fed her by hand last night as suggested. She accepted the food with no problem... then went to her bowl and finished the little amount I had put in it.
After I fed her I played with her a bit... she's always liked fetching her squeaky toys. After that I watched a little TV... I let her up on my lap and she fell asleep... on top of the blanket instead of underneath it like she usually does. No aggressive behaviors last night... at all. She did try to hump a couple times... each time I just put her on the floor and told her no. After the 2nd time she didn't try it any more.
This morning was good for the most part... I fed her by hand again and left her some food in her bowl. She was laying in her dog bed and I went to pet her as I was on my way out the door and she was fine with it... until I tried petting her on top of her head and she showed her teeth. She didn't bite or snap, she just showed her teeth. She's always been head shy so that's what I think it was...
Ok... will check on the leash. What you've said is sinking in just fine... I'm 39 and educated, not stupid.
I did not say that you were stupid, and for the interest of your dog, it would be best if you didn't take such offense to what people are telling you. Everyone here has your dog's well being in mind. You said this on page 2, November 25:
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I guess all this is my fault. I most certainly do not want her to grow up to be a monster... I do spoil her and baby her and from what saw in those videos that is the source of the problem.
Yet here you are, two weeks later, still talking about how you can't seem to control your dog's aggression. It is clear that you are not understanding what you are doing. That is why the point is being driven home. Not to attack you, as you seem to think, but because maybe if it's said enough, in different ways, you will finally understand exactly what is being said.
Quote:
I may have missed the point of what YOU said but I will say this... I think YOU are blowing the whole "I smacked my dog on the bottom" WAY THE HELL OUT OF PROPORTION.
Let me rephrase... "I lightly slapped my dog with no intent to cause pain on the bottom one time."
Feel better now?
The point that is being missed is that you never hit your dog. At all. Lightly, or even "one time". Never. Hit. Your. Dog. Ever. It doesn't matter if the smack was as light as a feather, you do not hit your dog. You then went on to.........joke? about beating your dog with a belt and locking her in her crate all day long. That is going to get peoples hackles up even if you DON'T do those things.
It is clear that you are frustrated. My advice to you is to put your wall down, stop taking offense to what people are saying, and really hear them. We want you to have a good relationship with your dog. What you are doing is not working, and sometimes, the advice that you hear is not a bed of roses, nor will it be sugar coated. If you truly want to learn how to teach your dog to behave better, you have to be willing to eat some crow. I can guarantee you that most, if not all, of us have had to eat some serious crow when we were learning about dogs for the first time. Not knowing what to do does not mean you suck at life. Not listening to the incredibly valuable advice that has been given, and putting it in to action, will make people wonder if you are serious.
Raising a dog, especially from puppyhood, takes a lot of work. A lot. A. LOT. You have to do the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. You have to be consistent. You have to be calm. You have to be fair. And the only time you should be touching your dog is to carry her, pet her, or put her leash or collar on her.
Instead of focusing on everything that she does wrong, start focusing on what she does right. As I said in a post earlier, right now, it's not her that is wrong. She's simply reacting to her environment. Right now, you are the one who needs to do the changing, and yes, that can be a bitter pill to swallow when you think that you have shown your dog love and affection and her growling and snapping makes no sense to you. But again, she's a dog, not a child. Dogs do not react to the love and affection that you give them like you think they will.
Let me try to put it this way:
You and another person are chosen to be a team to come up with a new idea for the company. You have been given the position of team leader. Every day, you cheerfully greet your co-worker, give them a hug, and let them do whatever it is that they want. They show up late, they take extra long lunches, they go home early and they never really do anything workwise. You never say anything about it, you just keep giving them hugs and admiration.
How long do you think that person is going to respect you?
Finally, in an effort to fix the problem, you lightly slap the person on their butt when they get back from a late lunch, and tell them, "I don't like that".
How long do you think that person is going to respect you? You never told them that you didn't like it before, how are they supposed to know what you do like and what you don't like? You've never told them. You've never laid any ground rules. You've never put up a schedule. Oh, you've given them all types of affection, but did you really lead?
On the flip side, say you are the other team member, and your co-worker is the leader. Which type of leadership do you respect more:
#1: The person always tells you how cute you are, and likes to gush over you. They let you do what you want, and they always excuse it by saying, "Oh she's just so cute, I can't help it!" Even though you are on a project, and it needs to be done, they never give you any guidelines. They never tell you where you should start. If they do try tell you something, they say it in Greek, and you don't understand Greek. But they expect you to understand Greek. When you are confused, all they do is pinch your cheeks and say, "OMG, you're so cute, I can't stand it!"
#2: The team leader doesn't give you any guidance, doesn't tell you what is expected of you, and pretty much lets you do whatever you want. You realize that you get paid either way, so you start doing whatever you want. After awhile, that team leader gets frustrated that you aren't doing what they expect you to do, despite the fact that they have never told you what they expect you to do. The team leader starts yelling at you, shouting at you, and lightly smacking you when you do something they don't like...regardless of the fact that they never once told you what they like and don't like. You get confused, you get frustrated, and you start thinking that the team leader is clueless, and you need to take over the project. The team leader tries to fight you on that, but they continue not to give you any kind of structure. Now you have a power struggle with the team leader, and all it does is make you feel aggressive.
#3: Your team leader is patient, calm, understanding, and lays out the plans. They offer you an outline, a schedule, and teach you some jargon that you need to know in order to get the job done. You don't understand this jargon, and you have to be taught the same words repeatedly. Not once does the team leader ever lose their cool. They continue to be patient, and teach you until you fully understand. If you completely mess up part of the project, the team leader simply stares at you, and then, quietly starts telling you what they expect to be done, and has you do it again. They never raise their voice, they never lash out, they never shift the blame on to you. The team leader accepts that they must not have taught you right, so even though they may be disappointed, they calmly tell you what they want, again. They give you another chance to succeed. You mess up the project again. The team leader remains calm, teaches you what they want, and gives you yet another chance to succeed. Finally, you do the project the correct way, and the team leader is very happy. They do not fling their arms around your neck and give you a big hug, but they do smile at you, and offer to take you to lunch. They tell you how proud they are of you. Never once do they bring up that it took you two months to finally get it. They just concentrate on how proud they are of you.
Of those three, which one do you want to work for?
The point that is being missed is that you never hit your dog. At all. Lightly, or even "one time". Never. Hit. Your. Dog. Ever. It doesn't matter if the smack was as light as a feather, you do not hit your dog. You then went on to.........joke? about beating your dog with a belt and locking her in her crate all day long. That is going to get peoples hackles up even if you DON'T do those things.
It is clear that you are frustrated. My advice to you is to put your wall down, stop taking offense to what people are saying, and really hear them. We want you to have a good relationship with your dog. What you are doing is not working, and sometimes, the advice that you hear is not a bed of roses, nor will it be sugar coated. If you truly want to learn how to teach your dog to behave better, you have to be willing to eat some crow. I can guarantee you that most, if not all, of us have had to eat some serious crow when we were learning about dogs for the first time. Not knowing what to do does not mean you suck at life. Not listening to the incredibly valuable advice that has been given, and putting it in to action, will make people wonder if you are serious.
Raising a dog, especially from puppyhood, takes a lot of work. A lot. A. LOT. You have to do the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. You have to be consistent. You have to be calm. You have to be fair. And the only time you should be touching your dog is to carry her, pet her, or put her leash or collar on her.
Instead of focusing on everything that she does wrong, start focusing on what she does right. As I said in a post earlier, right now, it's not her that is wrong. She's simply reacting to her environment. Right now, you are the one who needs to do the changing, and yes, that can be a bitter pill to swallow when you think that you have shown your dog love and affection and her growling and snapping makes no sense to you. But again, she's a dog, not a child. Dogs do not react to the love and affection that you give them like you think they will.
Let me try to put it this way:
Of those three, which one do you want to work for?
Obviously #3.
I gotcha.. I like your responses... and I see the points you and others have tried to make.
For the record the "beating with the belt" wasn't even a joke.. bad choice of words maybe.. like "smack." I've never done either.
I will update the thread with my/our progress.
P.S. One more question...
What about separation anxiety? I'll come home from work and will leave her upstairs while I go downstairs to shower and she will whine and cry as I leave and sometimes until I come back upstairs. She does the same thing if I come home with groceries and start bringing them in... if I go outside to the garage to get more she'll whine until I come back inside.
She is confined to the kitchen/living room/dining room area via a child gate in the hallway...She has full access to this area while I am at work too. The gate is my way of keeping her from roaming the house at will. In these whining situations she can see me... from behind the gate.
Is there a better way?
Last edited by Kees; 12-11-2013 at 12:08 PM..
Reason: ... added question
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