Who picks the new dog? Us or our dog? (training, adopt, failure)
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We'd like to add another dog to our little family.
Is it better to introduce our choices to our current dog, and decide which to adopt by which one she likes?
This way seems like it would result in less friction at the start.
But the ASPCA recommends choosing the dog, then introducing them, which is how we did it last time.
It wasn't horrible, but there was a little bit of friction between the two puppies for a couple of weeks.
I'd like to hear about people's experience with this.
I've seen people decide against a dog that their dog didn't instantly start playing with before. The two dogs didn't pay much attention to each other during the meet and greet, so the people felt it was the wrong dog. This isn't really the case. I've adopted a dog when my other dog seemed indifferent to him, and once he was in the house he became her brother, as much as our dog that had passed on. I've seen it work out the same way for other dogs.
I totally understand wanting to avoid a situation where there's tension between the dogs at first. I wouldn't take that on unless I really had my heart set on that particular dog, and I (plus preferably another objective, knowledgeable person) felt it was workable.
I say, either narrow available dogs down to a few, and then introduce your dog, looking both to see if there's an immediate problem, and to learn more that will help you feel out how you like the dog yourself. Or, if you have a definite favorite, introduce your dog, and move on to another only if you think they might have issues you'd prefer not to deal with at first.
It will work out if you introduce the new dog properly. If it is a puppy your older dog won't have a problem since it isn't a threat to the dogs pack standing.
You pick the puppy.
All puppies come with a "puppy license" that most adult dogs honor. In other words, adult dogs are pretty tolerant of puppy behavior and pretty much allow them to get away with some pretty rude dog behavior. Once the puppy license has worn off- usually about 6-7 months or onset of puberty, then all bets are off, and adult dog will begin to school puppy in proper dog etiquette.
All along though YOU need to be reinforcing training with your older dog and working with puppy to lay down basic obedience and foundations for impulse control and value.
There is never a guarantee that any 2 dogs will get along, but this isn't something that you wait until there is an issue; you work with both dogs together and individually to set down realistic expectations and reinforce good behaviors.
There are several good books on introducing a new dog to an existing household on dogwise.com including anything by reputable behaviorist Patricia McConnell who has had formal training in animal behavior and is a well-respected authority:
When I wanted to add a second dog to our family, I took my girl to the shelter where I had seen a red heeler fella I was interested in..... we introduced them in one of the play yards and he was ALL over her in trying to be dominant.... he would not listen to her when she told him to back off, so I knew he would not work.....
Went around and looked at the other boys in the shelter and met my Dave.... introduced them in the play yard and while they were friendly enough, there was no instant connection between them.... brought him home and they have lived together quite happily for the last 5+ years....
Roxie and Chico came along a couple of years later.... both abandoned in my neighborhood and brought in to my house as fosters that turned into foster failures..... all four have integrated themselves into a nice little family.....
It has to be a family decision. All the people and all the animals need to be involved.
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