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I had my dog for 6 years before I moved in with my ex. I lived with her for 7 or 8 years and since she was always avail to take the dog to the vet and I cert did not see the ending of our relationship coming from her infidelity, it eventually came to the point where all the vet bills were in her name. I have very few pics of me and the dog from years ago but all my friends and fam, including the ex-ex I was with with when I bought her vouching for me. I also have a slightly older very popular published book where I talk about my travels with my dog (with her name) in great detail.
So at the end of my relationship I was left without a car and a place to stay and have moved into my mothers ( I know how sad) until I can get on my feet again. It shouldn't be too much longer but has already been two months or so. The problem is that the agreement I made with this ex has been compromised. She was supposed to just take care of her until I got back on my feet. Well she is now threatening to keep my dog and says that I cannot have her as in ever. I have all the texts and emails from her where she was trying to buy my dog off me for a few grand where I declined. I don't have much else. I am being as smart as I can trying to remain friendly with this individual who is really trying to screw me.
What would happen if I took her to court. Could/would I win or do I have to go there and steal her back. This of course would be breaking into the house thru the unlocked window which of course is something I do not want to do. I could also just sit outside until she let her out but do not want to have to go thru such measures.
I am grateful for your response but unacceptable. You just don't give your dog away after 7 years. I agree in that she should be taken care of by her until I am financially responsible again. I get that part and am ok with that. But once that tide shifts and I am better off I will have to find a way to fix this and set things right. Thank you kindly so very much for your reply.
don't think with your macho ego. think what would be better for the dog.
1) it will take time until you'd get back on your feet
2) the dog got used to both of you, while you're out of the house - it got used to be with your ex.
3) would your ex ask you to take the dog, then it's a clear cut deal. But is it worth to start war with her???
4) the dog ain't getting younger.
The ego is out of it, that is why I am ok with her there and not demanding she go elsewhere. For me it is doing what is right.
1. Yes of course. I would not have it any other way
2. Not really relevant. It is not her dog. She is stealing it.
3. I wish lol. No she would not.
4. I know, that part blows and I know the clock is ticking.
Very grateful and sincerely appreciative of your response. All this will add up to an answer. I forgot, I was with a lawyer friend who happens to be a divorce attorney literally when I bought the dog. I just reached out to her and am waiting for her reply. That should help.
I was just about to suggest you get a lawyer's advice when I saw your last response. One thing I'm wondering is, do you want your dog back because you are genuinely missing her, or solely because of the principle that she was your dog in the first place? This latter reason, surprisingly, can be a quite common one for some people...it was their dog, but the ex - who they are angry at - now has said dog, and this is only causing more anger.
Ask yourself if your wanting to get your dog back is in both your and the dog's best interest. Who is the dog most attached to now? Would it cause the dog great upset if she were taken away from your ex (and her home) to go live with you, or is the dog missing you greatly? Put aside the facts of the breakup and the reasons for the breakup. Put aside the fact that you believe she is stealing your dog. Instead think (honestly) what is in the best interest of the dog at this point?
If your dog is truly missing you, and you her, and you do believe she would be better off with you, then speak to a lawyer, find out your rights (I'm assuming it was all verbal agreements between yourself and your ex) and go from there. You may need to make some sort of agreement, such as agreeing to pay all vet bills (and perhaps even travel time, etc.) to your ex that she had originally paid...or you may not. I'm not a lawyer, so I don't know.
If your dog seems happy where she is and you don't know where you will be financially, or physically, for the foreseeable future, then you may need to accept that she is better off where she is, as much as that may hurt you. What's most important in all of this is what will be best for your dog.
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to reply.
To answer your question I miss her terribly. She has never not been at my side for this long. Is she attached to the temporary owner now, sure, But if she saw me, as when I would come back from my trips, which btw I no longer take, she would always freak out and would not leave my side despite the other person (my ex) being around. I have thought rationally about this as best I can and have come to the conclusion it would be best for the dog back with her owner. If I can provide the same level of comfort why shouldn't she be back in the mix and it would be the right and the best (I feel) for the dog. After all, if my ex can just toss away a guy after 7 or 8 years like she did with me then I am afraid she would do the same to the dog. Embarrassingly this is not the first time she cheated on me. I know I know, the hecklers need not respond. I know already.
Am I mad at the ex? Yep! But am a person to not stay mad for very long and do not want to cause any living being on this planet any pain including her despite what she did to me.
I also told the ex, that I would gladly give her a key to my place so she could come and visit her anytime she wants. I have no qualms about that, And paying all the ex's expenses I would do in a heartbeat.
I would not under any circumstances take her back until I am capable to do so and have conveyed this.
I feel for you. It must be hard enough having your dog there, knowing it was for the best on a temporary basis....Then your ex is emotionally blackmailing you by offering to buy your dog. AS IF! Seems pretty mean of her imo.
I hope that the texts you have, and all the evidence of ownership prior to your living with your ex make it clear that when you were together even though your ex was available to take your dog to the vet, your combined funds were what was paying for this and other essentials....it should not be used as evidence that your ex has more claim on your dog than you do.
Hurry and get yourself set up...take her to small claims court. It could be very cathartic. Make sure that you have all your evidence, and incl letters/affidavits from your friends of you long term ownership. The texts, your previous address verification, anything that shows that you're being at your mother's home is not your doing, it was after your e cheated on you and your two broke up.I would be livid.
I hope things work out for you and your dog.
I'm familiar with small claims court as a paralegal... so what my suggestion here is simply just that and not legal advice.
When you bought her, was she microchipped and registered to you? Do you still have the copy of the contract or any documents from the breeder as evidence of your purchase of this dog? I know it's a long time ago but see if you still have them.
Find a way to print a copy of your text where your ex agreed to care for your dog and/or offering to buy the dog. Also, make copies of any vet bill you PAID - a credit card receipts, texts indicating that there was an agreement or that you paid the vet bill.
Each state is different. Generally, dogs are considered property under the law. Therefore, if you get the dog, the judge might order you to reimburse her costs of vet bills. If the judge is convinced that you are the owner but decide she should keep the dog, she has to pay you for the price of the dog.
I highly doubt the judge will make his decision based on who loves the dog more or how it's better it should stay with your ex because your situation sucks right now. It will be strictly based on determining, in writing, that you are it's owner. Even if you didn't pay one vet bill, didn't take a lot of photos, etc... your word is not enough. Regarding affidavits, are they clear, concise and notarized? If you are disputing ownership and you have witnesses who saw you purchase the dog, ask if they can come in person instead. Affidavits are a hit or miss, especially the judge may want to question your witness and make sure that person is legit.
Do not steal the dog. Do not threaten her. Do not act like a fool... she too will use everything in writing against you. The last thing you want is to now deal with the criminal courts.
You could hire an attorney to review your case and give you legal advice. It's small claims so you don't need to hire one to represent you in court, but that is up to you.
Unfortunately, the courts have to deal with a high number of small claims cases every day. You might not get a hearing until 2, 3 or even 6 months later. You will have to filing fees that can be around $300, a process server to serve your ex the paperwork, legal advice from an attorney can be about $350/hour or $2500 to represent. After all this, if it's not black and white, you are at the judge's mercy. If the judge rules in her favor, you can appeal his decision but it will really cost you because you will definitely need an attorney.
In the end, I know it's unfair, it's heartbreaking, and I would be as mad as you are. If she is taking good care of her, then let it go. You are not in a spot where your dog's interest come first.
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