Guilt about returning puppy and a bunch of other stuff. (bite, aggressive)
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My dog of 13 years passed in February. She was a wonderful dog that I had since he was 7 weeks old. Her passing has been pretty devastating for me and my husband. We thought we were ready for another dog so I filled out an application for a puppy and was accepted. I picked him up last weekend and the first day was good and I was excited but as the week went on I realized this puppy needs much more then I was ready to give. I grew up with a beagle my family got as a puppy and as an adult I had my corgi dog for 11 years that I got as a puppy so I have had much experience training puppies. I just didn't remember it being this hard. I was unfairly comparing the new puppy to my dog that passed in March when he was a puppy. This new dog didn't seem very interested in snuggling and being held for very long. He was sweet but I had hoped he would be a little more "loveable" I guess is the word. And then there was the biting. I understand puppies chew on anything and everything but this dog would bite me when I go to pet him and he had no interest in sleeping in our bed, as my other dogs did as puppies. My husband works full time and I work 30 hours a week so I was crating him for 6 hours a day (I realized isn't fair) and I was coming home to him messing in his crate - just another thing that made me feel GUILTY.
So I contacted the rescue I adopted this puppy from and expressed my concerns. She asked me if I wanted to adopt a different dog she had and maybe it just wasn't the best fit. I initially said yes but then changed my mind when I drove to the rescue center to return the puppy. It was very hard to say goodbye to him even though I had all these concerns and anxiety. He has the sweetest little face and I probably could have fallen in love with him if I waited a little longer. When I was at work all I felt was guilt about leaving him in a crate and I felt guilty about comparing him to my last dog. The man that runs the rescue is was so nice and understanding and he told me that when I was ready for a dog to come back and he would work with me again. My husband made a point that maybe I'm just not ready emotionally. Maybe he was right. He was really excited about getting a dog and now I have disappointed him. I just feel awful about everything.
You might want to try to manage your expectations for the new dog - it's not necessarily going to be a snuggler; temperaments vary. Not all puppies want to sleep in the humans' bed.
I'm not sure if you want to get a puppy if you're going to be away for 6 hours; that's too long for a young pup; unless you can hire a dog walker to come in and give him/her a break.
What kind of puppy was this? Would it be easier or harder (because of the expectations) to get another Corgi? If you get another dog; and it's a rescue, maybe you should try to find one who has been fostered in a home; so you can find out ahead of time whether it likes snuggling and sleeping in bed with you...
Every day in a young puppy's life is new in terms of his brain and physical development. You do really need to be there for him all along the way, but also to know what he is capable of and how he sees the world at any of those stages. For many, as long as a puppy has had good starting experiences, a young dog would be better to bring home than a puppy. That tiny puppy bladder can only hold it for 2 hrs max. He is teething and playing using his teeth is a puppy-to-puppy thing.
A young dog over 4 months is ready to be loved on, although he may have very high actiity levels. That is why adopting an even older dog is often best since they are a bit calmer. Adopt a dog who has had a rough life but is not aggressive and he will soon learn to adore you forever.
BTW, you should not feel guilty about returning the dog. You tried, it did not work out. This return was the best outcome for both of you.
Get an adult dog. The shelters are full of dogs that would absolutely love to sit on your lap, snuggle, and sleep in your bed. Many of them come with the added bonus of being house broken.
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OP, I think you should be happy with your decision to return him because of all the reasons you've listed. Don't feel guilty. You tried and then you found out it wasn't working out.
It isn't like this puppy won't find a more suitable home and it isn't like you kept him, neglected him, didn't train him and then turned him in at two years old to a shelter because he had so many behavioural issues. This happens FAR too often.
You were honest to yourself, admitted you made a mistake and the puppy will do better in a more suitable home. Best of luck to you when/if you get another dog sometime in the future when you feel you are ready. Do a thorough job at researching what kind of dog is most suitable to your lifestyle though. Talk to shelter workers, talk to dog experts, ask online, read about various traits of the different breeds. Mutts make wonderful pets too, but again, make sure you know approximately how big it will get, etc.
No need to feel guilty, the puppy wasn't a good fit. A responsible rescue would much rather you return the dog than have you and the dog be unhappy. It's not uncommon for a dog to be returned.
From your description it sounds like it would be better for you, when you're ready, to get an adult dog rather than a puppy.
OP, you did the right thing. Puppies are easy to find homes for and, imo, it is much kinder to return the dog than to keep him in a home that is not a good fit and no one would be happy, including the dog. Any rescue who truly cares about the dog will consider his well being over just a placement. Only one of my fosters was ever returned and I thanked the people who brought her back. A few weeks later she found her perfect home. Go in good conscience.
Yes, I agree you did the right thing, and that pup was not a good fit for you, especially after losing and elderly snuggly dog. I also think, a dog that is fully housebroken, and at least a year old (and one you know won't have separation anxiety) would be good. Especially if the rescue already knows it likes to sleep in the human bed, and snuggle.
In fact pup sounds like just the personality I would like. I would prefer to not have much of a snuggler, and not on the bed as puppies (not that it hasn't happened ). And then only if they are not bed hogs. I have sleep issues.
Don't get me wrong I like occasional lovey time, but I really prefer independent personalities. And though I don't love puppy hand attacks, I have lived through the shark stage of a GSD, so it wouldn't freak me out.
If I was expecting a sweet, loving couch potato dog, and got a dog that needed to work, I would feel desperate, and vise versa.
Not to worry, someone will love that puppy, and be thankful you returned it. You'll find the right dog, when the time is right for you.
Best of luck
We went through the same thing. We went from having a geriatric dog we were totally in sync with, to an unsocialized shelter puppy. OMgosh what a time we had.
If it makes you feel better, I think you did the right thing. The puppy went back to a safe environment, and they'll find him somebody who loves him again. And when you're ready, you'll get another dog. No harm, no foul.
Our new dog came from a kill shelter, but if we had been able to return our pup we definitely would have. We were just not ready and it was -- and still is -- incredibly stressful.
I have had to send a dog back to a rescue organization because I could not come to a reasonable working agreement with the dog. I also found it to be quite guilt-inducing. So, I agree with everyone saying "Relax, if you had to, you had to. It is what it is - and it wasn't working. The dog will find a home. Let's move on."
On the other hand, I have also had to up my skill level on training difficult dogs - or rather, dogs who were difficult for the level of skill I had. And, I have realized that a lot of the issues we had I COULD RESOLVE because I knew more about training than I used to.
As a result, I can work with dog problems that would have baffled me before (problems which DID baffle me, because I had dogs with those problems!).
If I had had a chance to offer advice before you took the dog back, I would have said to wait a while, and give things some time. AND, in the meantime, take some training classes. Or work with some experienced dog trainers - in person - live. That would give you a chance to watch an experienced trainer interact with your dog - and you can learn from that. You might not use everything they preach - but you can definitely learn from watching people with more experience.
If it didn't work with this pup - study up on how to choose a pup. Find a new pup. You'll be fine!
When I was working overseas - the locals used to say, when things went wrong - that "it will all turn out for the best". Sometimes I could not see any basis for that optimism, but having that kind of faith will always help!
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). And then only if they are not bed hogs. 
I have sleep issues.
