U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Pets > Dogs
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-20-2008, 04:58 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,630,863 times
Reputation: 8089

Advertisements

This really isn't a huge issue, but I'm just looking for some practical advice, if anyone has any...

My boyfriend has a maltipoo, 5 years old. I'm at "their" place just about every weekend. Without a doubt, this is a little needy dog. He's rarely left alone, and his attitude reflects that. He's a little attention wh*re.

I can deal with that. And, honestly, his reaction when I walk into my bf's place on Friday evenings shows me that he's happy to have me there. Heck, if my bf gave me half the greeting this little dog does...

The problem comes when my boyfriend is laying on the couch and I come over to give him a kiss or something. The dog starts barking and comes after me. The same if my bf is still in bed in the morning and I come back to lay down. Interesting, at least to me, the dog will come after my bf if I'm laying in bed and my bf wants to come near me.

While it's cute and all, and I appreciate the devotion, it does get old, real quick. Is there any way that me, as a bit of an "outsider" can try to pare down this reaction? Obviously, this dog likes to have me around, and protects me as well as my bf. But, I'd like to be able to hug my bf without having to make sure my hands and other body parts are out of the way of the dog's mouth. (Not that I believe that he would intentionally hurt me...but, you know, all dogs have teeth....)

So, any suggestions? Something that I can do to maybe lessen this dog's reaction?
Thanks in advance for any suggestions.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-20-2008, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Loss Wages
1,311 posts, read 6,072,018 times
Reputation: 562
Unfortunetely, something like that is hard for you to deal with. It's more the owner's responsibility to work with this behavior not really you. I am a firm believer these behaviors are fed by their owners and then the owners blame everyone else for it, IMO. However, this dog has an Alpha mentality and thinks he has the authority to boss you around. Nip in the butt right away and show that he is not. There's multiple ways to do this and you will need the boyfriend's support on it or it won't work. Though i'm not a big fan of him and very cautious with his work, Caesar Milan offers up suggestions to dealing with the behavior directly. My philosophy is more balanced of direct adjustments and reinforcements to alternative behaviors. But, I agree with Caesar in saying that this dog needs an alpha attitude change and fast. It could get worse and it could leak to other people as the dog finds he gets his way.

I don't have immediate suggestions for you right now, but I'd do some research on alpha behaviors and how to address them quickly. I know some people take their dogs and force them on their backs holding them down with their own body weight to show Alpha dog comunication until the dog relaxes. It's worked well for them. Caesar has shown, I believe, grabbing the dog and holding them in a certain way to establish his role. He's also shown in another example of this kind of behavior with an owner and her little dog that he'll ignore the behavior and push the dog back but there's more to it.

There's other methods as well that involve click-n-treat methods which I also use in training, but it's often hard to diagnose on a forum. For that, you would need to ask a dog trainer in your area to come and do a visit.

In review I suggest to research those things above and possibly involve a local trainer. Showing fear and hesitation will only feed the behavior more. Good luck!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2008, 05:26 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,630,863 times
Reputation: 8089
Quote:
Originally Posted by deegers View Post

In review I suggest to research those things above and possibly involve a local trainer. Showing fear and hesitation will only feed the behavior more. Good luck!
Thanks for the response.

It's really not the biggest deal, probably because this dog weighs less than my cats. Yes, I do pull my hands and other body parts away when he gets possessive, but that's really only because the only dogs that I've been bitten by have been his size. I don't really trust them.

I've tried doing a "stare down" thing with him. It was actually quite amazing. When he knows I'm serious, he leaves that "alpha thing" behind real quick.

I think, probably, my bf feeds into his demeanor more than I can overcome.

Anyway, like I said, it's really not a huge deal, just something that I was wondering about. Thanks again for the info.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2008, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Loss Wages
1,311 posts, read 6,072,018 times
Reputation: 562
No problem! Sounds like you are doing the right thing. It would be much more helpful if the bf wasn't so laidback about it; which actually suprises me that he would be. But, anyways, keep up the good work!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2008, 06:29 PM
 
Location: Maryland
1,667 posts, read 8,502,582 times
Reputation: 1625
When I married, I had 5 dogs. All slept in bed with me, except when I had to sleep on couch if they didn't leave me room. As Deegers said, dogs are constantly searching for the Alpha male, and if there's a vacancy, they'll assume the role. My wife controls my dogs like a pro. When I get home, they're like spoiled children. The dog will listen if he has to.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2008, 06:33 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,630,863 times
Reputation: 8089
Thanks ESFP...

The thing is, with our situation, that I am there maybe "half-time". I like to think that I can handle animals, but I am wondering what I can do in this situation. And, the fact that this is a little foofy dog doesn't make things any easier.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2008, 06:39 PM
 
16,482 posts, read 21,514,334 times
Reputation: 16194
It is hard to not direct your feeling at the dog, but it is your boyfriend that has allowed this behavior for so long. This is behavior that you and him, mostly he, will have to work on. I have seen The Dog Whisperer work on dogs like this. Maybe one of his books or videos can help. If the boyfriend is not willing to work on changing the behaviour that says a lot about his devotion to you. Hopefully he will realize that despite how "devoted and cute" this may appear, it is unhealthy behavior for the dog.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2008, 06:46 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,630,863 times
Reputation: 8089
Well, maybe I'll have to look into the "Dog Whisperer".

As far as my bf's devotion to me, that's pretty much unquestioned. I *do* get a kick out of his little foofy dog trying to protect ME when I'm in bed, but I do understand that's not healthy either.

This poor little dog is a bit confused about things. Maybe that's a reflection on my relationship with my bf?? I don't know that I would go quite *that* far, but I will check into the Dog Whisperer and other resources, now that I know that this isn't a completely uncommon thing with dogs.

Thanks.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2008, 06:51 PM
 
321 posts, read 1,435,216 times
Reputation: 138
Cesar has dealt with this problem on his show numerous times. Give him a watch.

This is not cute. And the dog is not protecting you or anybody else. He's trying to be dominant.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-20-2008, 06:54 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,630,863 times
Reputation: 8089
Thanks Sharon. I get that now.

I'll have to give this some serious research. Of course, it's not MY dog, but since I spend so much time with him, I'd like to try to do the "right thing".

Thanks again.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Pets > Dogs
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2020, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top