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Old 09-22-2016, 10:59 PM
5,318 posts, read 2,759,690 times
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Originally Posted by mashimaro1 View Post
I might be the only one but I think it is ok for just you to not like the dog. just as long as you don't abuse it or be mean to it.

My dad does not like dogs but he let me get one when I was living at my parents' house. he ignores my dog and vice versa. my dog is independent and likes to be in the same space but is not the type to cuddle. she is a mutt but she was independent even as a pup.

ironically I have an Australian shepherd who is a love bug and needs to be loved by all family members. she is always in our faces and no amount of affection seems enough. my dad loves her so much that he even dog sits for me but he still ignores my mutt and she nor I care.
No, I agree with you also. Another reason to get a dog that doesn't expect all humans to want to meet it.
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Old 09-23-2016, 08:17 PM
Location: Northeastern U.S.
1,465 posts, read 887,279 times
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Originally Posted by eschaton View Post
I should also say I'm somewhat allergic to dogs. It's nothing like my cat allergies, which are crippling within 15 minutes of being around a cat. But some dogs make me short of breath to even be around, while other dogs don't cause an issue at all. So I think we'd need to try a dog out to make sure it doesn't cause allergy issues as well.

Again, I'm not upset about the care. I've cared for animals before - that's no big deal at all. The only thing I have trepidation about is walking a dog, mainly because I'm worried that other dog walkers might want to make small talk with me, and I don't care for small talk at all.

What I'm concerned about is just that I'm not sure I will be able to bond with a dog emotionally. I'm not someone with a high need for companionship anyway. I prefer my pets as roommates, and in some cases like my cats and rats I'd say I was even friends with them. I can't see ever see considering any pet - dog or otherwise - as "part of the family" however. I'm just worried that without that emotional bond that there will be no "payoff" to owning a dog for me, and I'll come to resent a creature which of course deserves love.

You say that we'd need to try a dog out to make sure it doesn't cause allergy issues as well. Dogs (and cats) are not disposable merchandise; and you shouldn't really go into dog ownership with the view that you're 'trying it out'.

I suggest that you consider volunteering to work with dogs at the nearest animal shelter; or try to find some nearby (within an hour or two) breeders of less allergenic breeds (Portuguese Water Dogs, Poodles, Soft-Coated Wheaten Terriers, to name three) who will let you hang out with their dogs for a half-hour or hour to see how you react - not a trial, but an experience that will at least give you a chance to know whether you can tolerate brief contact with those breeds.

I hope, if you do end up getting a dog; that you will not push him/her away from you if the dog approaches you for attention. Try to get a breed or mix that is not very needy, and can enjoy human company without constant attention. Some of the sighthound breeds are relatively calm and mellow; but I don't know how you would react to them in terms of allergies; and you'd need a fenced yard unless you have access to a good-sized fenced dog park.

Good luck.
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Old 09-24-2016, 05:13 AM
Location: Canada
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I know of a couple who didn't want a dog but a friend talked them into it, telling them that they'd love it once they got used to it. They have had two now and they LOVE dogs. The dogs are their babies!

If you find a dog that you might like, give it a chance. You might love it. If not, lock yourself into a bedroom to read and let the wife and kids do the caretaking. I think the dog will eventually learn that you don't want it near you. Just keep pushing it down and ignore it. The dog will learn quickly who loves it and who doesn't. The 7 year old can feed it (If you have found a trustable dog) and can walk it also if your 7 year old is a responsible kid and the dog isn't too big.

Maybe others might disagree with me, but that is my take on this.
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Old 09-24-2016, 05:43 AM
Location: Midwest
1,469 posts, read 855,866 times
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My nephew now in his 30's with kids of his own wanted a dog badly when he was 10. My brother and I always had dogs when we were growing up and his wife was an only child whose parents never liked or wanted dogs.

The week before Christmas when my nephew was 10 his mom found him crying on the couch. When she asked what was wrong he told her that all he wanted for Christmas was a dog. It broke her heart and long story short they got one. My sister in law had her hands full with work and taking care of her two kids and felt she had no need to add a dog to the family so she ignored the dog for many months. Slowly she warmed up and starting putting down fresh water and occasionally giving affection. It ended up that she loved the dog and even after my nephew left for college and the dog passed away SHE was the one who wanted another dog after the dog went to live with my nephew!!!

You don't have to be an active member in the affection and caring for the dog. You may or may not, its ok.....Put no pressure on yourself to want or even like the dog. Ignore it and it will probably ignore you if that's what you want. Dogs instinctively know who likes them. You may surprise yourself but even if you don't know that you are helping your children learn to take care of a living animal and that is an important childhood lesson to learn empathy and caring for other living beings. Its a win win!!!
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Old 09-24-2016, 06:08 AM
Location: Houston, TX
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Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Do Not Get A Dog.

Dogs want to be loved, and if you can't handle that, you don't need to own one. It's not fair to the dog.
Agreed. Unless everyone in the household wants a dog, getting one is a terrible idea. Even if the family gets a dog on the theory that OP won't have to take care of it, some responsibility for pet care will inevitably fall on his shoulders. He won't like it. And even if he does not have to do dog care, he won't like having a dog around all the time. This will lead to seething resentments that "I never wanted a dog. My wife/children MADE me get one." The dog will bear the brunt of OP and the rest of the family's unhappiness. Choosing a more reserved breed won't fix the problem. The solution is not to create a problem in the first place.
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Old 09-24-2016, 09:32 AM
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If you are very allergic to cats, you might consider going to an allergist and get tested for a dog allergy.
It would be very sad if your family became attached to a dog that you are allergic to.
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Old 09-24-2016, 10:00 AM
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"Reserved" is not the same as "independent," although a dog could be both. This needs to be understood when researching types of dogs.

Aside from that, what bothers me about the OP's dilemma--yes, it is a dilemma, not just a choice--is that it sounds like getting a dog was used as a bargaining chip. It is payback for something he did or did not do that the rest of the family holds against him.

No dog or child deserves to be used as ammo against a family member.
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Old 09-24-2016, 05:52 PM
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My husband didn't want to get a dog, either. He threatened that I would have to move out if I got one. I bought the dog, anyway. Guess who our dog loves the most?
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Old 09-24-2016, 06:17 PM
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Originally Posted by TheotherMarie View Post
If you are very allergic to cats, you might consider going to an allergist and get tested for a dog allergy.
It would be very sad if your family became attached to a dog that you are allergic to.
This ^^^^ It would be my only worry.

Most (not all) dogs understand when someone is not interested in them, and they will give that person space. Unlike cats who seem to choose the person not interested in them but I digress.

Going to the shelter as a family would be a great idea once you know you are ok allergy wise. You can spend time with them in the yard one on one. Unless you choose a slobbery, goofy, clueless dog, I think whatever you all agree on will probably be easy to bear.

My ex grew up without dogs, but he appreciated that I could not live without them. He truly grew to respect that my dog would protect me from anyone, and she would leave the room if he asked her to. At the time she had allergies I wasn't aware of and she would lick her paws for hours at night. It made him crazy (and I would be asleep). He would just tell her to go, and she would.

She followed him around when I wasn't there, but she would lay calmly at a distance and just stare at him. We swore she was waiting for him to tell her she was the queen of the world.
He eventually started taking her with him sometimes in the truck, and she would be good as gold for him. He never had a harsh word for her.

Anyone else (except the two of us) she would jump on, and make an absolute pest of her self, she could be truly obnoxious.
A friend's old dog would escape because of fireworks, or thunder and she would come to our house, and we would keep her inside with us.
She was so good and calm my ex would ask her to go on walks with him I the mornings, without a leash. It really warmed my heart. I know he watched them as much as they watched him, super cool relationship bonds.

Lots of dogs to avoid, just read between the lines when you read about breeds, and I would look for one that has a calm wisdom to it, even if it is a puppy. And a breed that is intelligent, or you may have a hard time learning to respect it.
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Old 09-24-2016, 07:37 PM
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Do not get a dog, I repeat, do not get a dog.

This whole thing smells of "taking it back to the shelter because of (insert your excuse here)."

Some people just do not like them, that is fine, but forcing yourself because some family members wants one just seems to be heading for trouble, with the dog getting the brunt of it. After the family is bored of it, it grows out of the puppy stage, or as a puppy/adult it just is not the stuffed animal everyone thought it would be, or a medical problem comes up, off to the shelter it will go.
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