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Old 09-28-2009, 02:36 PM
 
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Well, we didn't get good news from the CT scan today. The mass in his nasal cavity is large and has started to invade the right orbit area. It doesn't appear to have spread into the brain, although the radiologists are checking that. It hasn't spread to the other side, which is the only good news we got. This leaves us with only palliative radiation as an option. I was a bit hopeful that he could have surgery, although I was scared of that option.

With palliative IMRT, the vet expects about 6 months before tumor regrowth begins. Not long, although I know Dash and Tillie have done better than that. They marked and shaved him for radiation, which I was expecting and was upsetting to me and my 3-year-old, but we've recovered. I had bouts of tears on the way home, and I'm sure it'll continue until we decide what to do. Olivia, my daughter, is now collecting ladybugs for me in her butterfly house--"not-sick animals to make me feel better."

My husband and I will discuss our situation tonight, and I'll hear more form the oncologist tomorrow about what the radiologist thinks.

This sucks.

Best to all of you,
Erica
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Old 09-28-2009, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Santa Barbara CA
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Erica, I am sorry to hear the bad news about Scout.Remember the 6 months the palliative radiation could buy is just an average some will make it much longer and some will not make it 6 months. Only God knows how much time.

I am also sad to hear that Probert had a seizure. Am not sure if baromatric pressure can cause them though a brain surgeon here in town says he gets more business in the fall due to just that. More aneurysms leaking etc.

Dash is hanging in there but today when the wound self debrided and the top layer scab came off there are still pockets of puss. The raw honey has helped as it is not a gooey mess but we seem to not be able to get over this infection and now it is starting to take its toll on him or maybe it is his kidneys or liver not processing the drugs well now.He is slowing down and hanging his head down so he looks so sad. And I find myself thinking what am I doing? I am hoping I can talk to the animal communicator Lydia Hiby and see what she picks up on. A dog club had a fund raiser years ago where Lydia spoke to the dogs. I took Jazz and the things she told me that Jazz told her were so right on and things only Jazz and I would know. I went a skeptic and came out a believer that yes some people can talk to animals! When we met her all she asked was Jazz's age and name nothing else and no one there really knew Jazz as it was not our club.If they had known her they would not have known alot of the stuff that she " talked" about. Some of it was rather funny other stuff very serious!

I am seriously thinking of having Dash put down this week and if Lydia can tell me that he is tired and done fighting it will be a huge relief for me as I can honor that like I did when my mom made that decision. For now we continue with great food ( Jazz is so jealous!, Dazzle doesn't seem to care as he is not a chow hound) lots of love and snuggle time. He is snoring at my feet right now as he is following me everywhere as usual.It is breaking my heart but when I look in his eye I no longer see the fight in him. I think I will take him out for a car ride tonight as he loves riding in the car. My vet is off until Wed. and when I do this I do want him to be the one as He has known Dash the whole time I have owned him and knows how much I love my dogs.He knows how hard this has been these past few weeks so I don't want some vet that really does not know us doing it and while I know his partners I do not have the same relationship with them as we usually see him.

Anyway I wish I had some happier news to share since this seems to be a week starting off with bad news. Someone please share some good news! Big Hugs to all facing some difficult decisions this week, Jan
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Old 09-28-2009, 11:38 PM
 
Location: Santa Barbara CA
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I have to tell you when I took Jazz and Dazzle out for their walk Dash came over wanting to go and when I told him no he backed up and sat his butt down on the first step of my stairs and gave me the saddest look.gosh it broke my heart but not only does he have that big ugly crater wound on his face but he is too slow for the other two

So Dash and I just got back from our own outing. After dinner I took just him and we went for a car ride, he enjoyed watching the world fly past his window. I did not know where we were going but we ended up at my favorite park that is on the cliffs overlooking the ocean. It was dark but we took a walk, slow as he was he really enjoyed it and is acting perkier now. It takes so little to make him happy and how I want the time he has left to be happy.
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Old 09-29-2009, 12:04 AM
 
Location: Connecticut is my adopted home.
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Oh I am so sorry for you both Jan, Erica, Probert's mom and anyone else in the last stages of the struggle or coming toward it. I know pretty much what you all are going through having gone through the final process less than a month ago and it's one of the hardest things that I've ever had to do saying goodbye to Ginger.

I'll be thinking of you and your sick fur babies tonight.

Hugs.

Cathy aka Ginger's mom
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Old 09-29-2009, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Santa Barbara CA
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Thought I would share some of the highlights of my talk with Lydia the animal communicator with you. She had talked with Jazz years ago and hit on too may things that only I and Jazz would know so I went from being a skeptic to a believer.

All she wanted to know was dogs name, age , how long he has lived with me and what a breed he is so she would know it was him and not one of the others .

She started off by saying he has indigestion and had vomited earlier, ( when I got home from walking the other two there was a spot on the one rug that looked like vomit). She sensed his kidneys and liver are working a bit slow so are now being affected( which I have been thinking do to his reaction to tramadol as it seems to be very slow leaving his system). He has hot flashes and enlarged lymph nodes and she suddenly said he has cancer then she sort of zeroed in more on his big fear of having a big nose bleed that I will not be able to stop. That he does not have headaches or much pain but that he is tired of fighting and ready to stop. His face does feel odd but not painful. He told her he had been through some big procedures but sailed through them. He said he has already talked to the rest of the pack and they understand and will step in to help me. He understands why he can not go places with them and is fine staying home but wants a play by play account of the outings from them so he knows who they saw and what they did. I said but he looks so sad when we leave and she said he is sad because things can't be the way they use to be .

He says a family dog from our past has come to see him twice but he has not been ready to leave yet. But he is ready now as he is just too tired yet he will hang on if I want him too for a few more days but is very worried about a big nose bleed... the nose bleed kept coming up. She asked him if he would rather die in a peaceful setting then the bleed and he said yes. He said he wants or needs nothing more as I have given him everything.

Now for the errie part she claims that he has been with me twice before and that I am not to worry that he will come back to me throwing in he knows where I live! That is my boy!

He talked about Jazz and how despite the fact she sleeps alot now that she still knows what is going on and still tells the rest of the pack what to do.He does not mind thou as she has been good to him.

More chills down your spine time...he says Dazzle has lived with us in the past too and he knew who he was the minute he saw him! I really do not know who Dash might have been but Dazzle I feel could be my Parent's big dog Henry come back as I have always had that feeling about him.And he seemed to know my parent's house well when I took him there the first time.

I told her how with past pets I have always known when it was time as they have told me so she said now knowing what I do to sit down in a quiet place with just Dash and listen and he will tell me what I need to know.

I am glad I decided to talk to her as she did tell me alot I already knew way deep down inside but wanted to block out and not see or hear. It is comforting to know that he is OK and ready and that he will come back to me.( one of those guys you just can not get rid of)

He told her stuff about our life together which was all true such as his being a real butt head when I adopted him.Some of the time I was lauging and some of it I was crying but boy I feel as if a weight has been lifted.


Anyway there you have it. I must be a really great cook for him to keep coming back to me!
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Old 09-29-2009, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
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Oh my, so sorry and yet such hope for him to have a good end. So very, very sorry for the temporary pain. Hugs.
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Old 09-29-2009, 11:55 PM
 
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I am so sorry to read about everyone's heartaches the past couple of weeks. My thoughts go out to everyone and big hugs to you & your sweet dogs.
It seems like the 'not so good days' are with us right now and it helps so much to hear what you all are doing and how you are getting through. We decided not to get a follow-up CT scan after Allie's radiation because we did not feel like we would do another round and put her through it again. Well, here we are only 5 months after the last of her 18 treatments and her bleeding out of the 'bad' nostril is getting worse, leading me to only assume the worst as well. I related to you, Erica, looking into and moving forward with more options for Scout. We are far enough past the radiation now that I am thinking ...what can I do? Should we do another round? We don't have access to IMRT so regular palliative radiation would be our only option at the University. Allie will be 13 in March and even though she handled the recovery from definitive very well the first time, it looks like it just may not have worked as well (or for as long) as we would have hoped.
She has been dealing with GI issues for the past week so we have stopped the Deramaxx to give everything a break. After vomiting for over 24 hours, she has been diagnosed w/ slight pancreatitis. Her vet said it is not always diet related, which makes sense because she only eats grain-free and lean meats/veggies. I think the break from Deramaxx has given the cancer a little boost and that's why we have seen increased bleeding. She had a round of IV fluids & has a anti-nausea prescription but still has little to no appetite..she is interested in nothing at all. We are just working with her to eat at this point and then the next step is to decide if we should move forward with another CT scan to assess our options for the cancer. The last 5 months have been so so good that I was so hopeful the radiation effects would last for the approximate year and a half 'average' time we thought we had....she is such a young soul and has a lot of energy for a dog her age. My heart aches just trying to decide what to do.

Jan, can you pass along the information for Lydia? What a great reading! Thinking of everyone that is going through hard times...
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Old 09-30-2009, 12:22 AM
 
Location: Santa Barbara CA
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I am so sorry to hear that Allie is having a rough time right now too. Its odd but this was the same time of year that many I met on the lung cancer board started having troubles too and from Sept. to the New Years we lost alot of people. I just find it strange that now it is that fall period and so many of the dogs are having troubles. I use to like the Fall but am now not so certain I do as it is full of sad memories.

Here is Lydia's web site. I sent her a check last Friday then called today as her phone days are Tues. And Wed. It did take me a couple hours to get through as the line was always busy but finally this after non I got through.Now I will move forward knowing what my sweet Dash wants. http://www.lydiahiby.com/

I will send prayers to all as Dash and I sit under the stars tonight before I go to bed.
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Old 09-30-2009, 07:01 AM
 
129 posts, read 489,804 times
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Wow, times sure do suck now, don't they??

Jan, I am so glad you found peace with the animal communicator and Dash. It is so hard playing God and making this decision for our best friends. Finding someone who helps you along the way is a true blessing. I know that Dash is truly appreciating his starry nights with just you.

I'm also very sad to hear about Allie's bleeding. It is so hard when you've done everything right and things still look wrong. Did the bleeding every stop following radiation? Have you talked with your oncologist about it? I know exactly how you feel about not knowing whether to proceed with more treatment. One of the questions I woke up with today for the oncologist is whether I'm being selfish and if doing more radiation is cruel to Scout. I worry about the effects of so much radiation, remembering after the first treatment when my local vet said he'd never put his dog through such a thing. Now I'm considering doing it again. BUT, this dog spent yesterday tearing through the woods, playing with his toys, and chasing his brother around the yard. Not doing anything when we can seems cruel, too. In many ways, I'm kicking myself for not doing the CT scan earlier, when perhaps we could have done surgery. Now it's too late for that. On the other hand, if it turns out that we're unable to do any more treatments, I'll be upset that I did the CT scan at all...it would be better not to know. So, I'm afraid I don't have any good answers. If you have a good relationship with your oncologist, I'd talk to her and see what her thoughts are.

I'm still waiting for the oncologist to call us with final results. I spent all day yesterday on pins and needles and he never called. I hope it's not more bad news.
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Old 09-30-2009, 07:58 PM
 
Location: Santa Barbara CA
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Default Farewell my sweet Dash




Today Dash continued his journey without me. Lydia the animal communicator says he has been with me twice before and that he does plan to return to me again. I hope she is right. I know it was time to say good bye and feel blessed that I had a wonderful loyal dog like Dash in my life for 11 years. Whoever gave him up after 1 year really missed out, but then again I guess he was supposed to be with me so they gave him up for a reason that was unknown to them but known to him. It will take a while to get over the loss as even with two other dogs he will be missed very much as he is the one that was always by my side. Always the happy dog with a sense of humor. I think as he walked away he was chuckling as he will be back.... After all he knows where I live! For now he is off eating Pancakes with his Grandma .Peace be with you my little buddy.
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