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This morning, I took her on a jog with me, give or take 3 miles. She still cried all day. Maybe it’ll help if I do it daily but man, I feel terrible for her.
A coworker recommended I draw the shades throughout the house so she thinks it’s time to nap. Thoughts?
I’m now considering hiring a dog sitter to come in everyday for 6 hours. The cost is insane though.
She’s not at all destructive. Just loud crying/shaking all day long.
But this IS extreme anxiety and it's lasting all day every day!
A few thoughts:
One problem I see with the visiting dog sitter is that your dog gets to go through the "leaving me behind in a strange house" thing even more times every day; when YOU leave and then when the SITTER leaves. I'd also be hesitant to start something you may not be able to keep doing over time because of the expense. You aren't actually teaching her to tolerate being left either, just soothing her anxiety using a substitute human. We tend to forget that dogs live in the present. Even though she didn't go through this at your previous house, that's not even much of a memory for her. NOW is what she knows, and it includes being upset at being left behind. It's as if that previous pattern never existed. So you also have to remove your "memory" of what she used to do and change your response to what she does now.
Something you may be doing unintentionally upon departure or return might be contributing too. Like making more of a fuss over her when you come and go. After moving you were understandably a bit more anxious at leaving her at the new house...and she picked up on it. She could decide that these events are a big deal even though she didn't before. If you haven't done this before another suggestion would be to do the classic separation anxiety training routine over a long weekend or whenever you have time to do multiple false departures. You know, leave the dog for very short periods (like a minute...but it depends on how quickly she starts ramping up...you have the perfect tool; the camera. Try to return before she starts), return, leave again and again slowly lengthening the time and briefly praising her when she doesn't react. Don't comfort her if she does get upset. Ignore it. Don't make a fuss over her as you leave. Make it a non-event. Don't make a fuss when you return either. Again, she needs to re-learn that arrivals and departures are no reason to get anxious regardless where she is.
If this doesn't help and if this was my dog I think I would give the anti-anxiety med a try for a short term and use the camera to see the result. It might provide enough buffer that your dog eventually doesn't need it. You could taper off the dose over time of course, but once she learns that staying alone in THIS house isn't horrible the med is superfluous. She shouldn't be so drugged up she isn't aware or awake, just not to care as much.
I wonder if giving her a bed to wait by the front door window is actually making things worse. She now associates that spot as where she's supposed to stay and yearn for your return. Reinforcing the idea that this is the right manner and the place to wait. Instead, maybe confine her to a place in the house she likes and is comfortable napping instead.
Last edited by Parnassia; 12-20-2018 at 01:40 AM..
Maybe a misunderstanding here. I think what JONOV meant was thinking nothing of using medication to ease crippling anxiety if it was a child, NOT thinking nothing of her being anxious.
This morning, I took her on a jog with me, give or take 3 miles. She still cried all day. Maybe it’ll help if I do it daily but man, I feel terrible for her.
A coworker recommended I draw the shades throughout the house so she thinks it’s time to nap. Thoughts?
I’m now considering hiring a dog sitter to come in everyday for 6 hours. The cost is insane though.
What about dog daycare? So much fun for them if you find a good one; one of my daughters used one for years with a sep anx dog who could not be left alone while she was at work, as she was in an apt and Onyx would bark/destroy. Onyx loved daycare.
Can you adopt another dog from a good rescue? There are boxer specific rescues, there are rescues galore with dogs of all kinds and many WILL transport. If you get a dog that has lived in a foster home the foster will be able to accurately describe its temperament and you can find a good fit for your family. Having a dog companion often does wonders for a dog left alone and is just good for them overall. Plus you'd be helping a dog who needs a family and doubling the doggie love!
I see you're in the NE, Rescue Dogs Rock NYC, Second Chance Rescue NYC, Speranza Rescue (PA) are three I can personally vouch for; check their sites. Best Friends Animal Society is nationally known and has a NYC branch as well. All of these will transport.
Last edited by VexedAndSolitary; 12-20-2018 at 05:07 AM..
I'd also get the dog a blood workup. At the right age for thyroid problems or cushings. Cushongs produces excess cortisol which is a stress hormone, and can cause increased anxiety/restlessness.
I'd also get the dog a blood workup. At the right age for thyroid problems or cushings. Cushongs produces excess cortisol which is a stress hormone, and can cause increased anxiety/restlessness.
Good Point. I've heard good things about prozac helping this without "Doping them up" like tranquilizer type meds do, though they do take a while to build up to effective levels.
Poor little thing. In the last house, she started out younger and being in a new house at an older (not necessarily old) age can be a different adjustment.
A move for a dog can mean she lost every single scent and heavenly and awful smell and sight she ever knew that were in very precise places. Every floor tile, every bit of carpet, every place she knew her furniture would be, every bush and neighbor's vehicle she could see out a door or window, every sound of this car and that truck and those bicycles and that other car that came by every day...lost all that.
I'm glad I can work from home and sit with mine at times like that. Hang around her all you can when you are home. Notice she's not very young and anxious for her new world and happy about every little thing. She's taken from her well established world as a mature lady and needs assurance as she adjusts to this new world. All the best.
. . . I took her on a jog with me, give or take 3 miles. . . .
I fully agree with Ottor on this, and good on ya for making it happen. I aim to make this happen for my dogs 360 days out of 365. Even if this doesn't help the immediate issue, it will be highly beneficial in the long run. You have a boxer, though, so you'll want to monitor for breathing issues due to the shortened snout. But if you didn't have any on this jog, I'm thinking you won't in the future.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia
But this IS extreme anxiety and it's lasting all day every day!
A few thoughts:
One problem I see with the visiting dog sitter is that your dog gets to go through the "leaving me behind in a strange house" thing even more times every day; when YOU leave and then when the SITTER leaves. . . . Even though she didn't go through this at your previous house, that's not even much of a memory for her. NOW is what she knows, and it includes being upset at being left behind. . .
Instead, maybe confine her to a place in the house she likes and is comfortable napping instead. . . .
Quote:
Originally Posted by JONOV
. . . I've heard good things about prozac helping this without "Doping them up" . . .
Quote:
Originally Posted by petsandgardens
. . . A move for a dog can mean she lost every single scent and heavenly and awful smell and sight she ever knew that were in very precise places. . . .
Parnassia's advice is excellent throughout that post. I disagree on two points. This is extreme anxiety, but it is not extreme to the point of being destructive. And the memory bit. Your dog would recognize your old place if you went back, so your dog does remember it. But dogs ARE very much creatures of the NOW.
I agree with Parnassia about the dog sitter idea. Parnassia's thoughts about meds are good, but I don't like using any meds, ever, if they aren't needed. Even Prozac leaves people feeling drugged, so I can't imagine dogs are different. Many people also say that drugs help them. For dogs, sometimes such drugs help, and sometimes they don't. Just like people. You've said that you tried something, and it didn't work. Maybe a different drug might, so give it a try. As a temporary measure, until you get some adaptation to the new place.
But I would concentrate on focusing on the "Fake Leaving" exercise. This can be effective even if you are not able to do it until she's ok before you have to leave for real. Let's say you have to go to work tomorrow. Do the "Fake Leaving" exercise 2-3 times tonight. See how long she can go without before getting anxious. Make a note of that time. Do that daily. On weekends, do it more. This will take longer, overall, than staying home and doing the training over a couple of weeks, but you will get there in the long run.
I also think you should focus on a "Safe Place" where the dog will be more comfortable waiting. For instance, mine can be rather upset when I leave them at home. They will pace, upstairs and down, endlessly, and sometimes howl for sessions. And they do that even if other people are in the house. But if I put them in the bedroom, and close the door? They are ok. No problems. I can also take them with - but leave them in the car as I go into meetings or into a store - and they are perfectly happy doing that. Some people and their dogs use crate training for this purpose. The crate becomes a safe haven. If you've not ever used a crate for this, with an older dog I think it would be less likely to work than a room. Wherever your dogs sleeps when you go to sleep would be the first candidate as a "safe place".
"Doggie Day Care." This is not a solution for my current dogs, but it might be for yours. Obviously, a lot of people find them useful, as they seem to do a good business, right? But they aren't a solution for every dog. Telling you to have a care about which one you pick is probably useless, as I'm sure you would do that without anybody saying anything! Try to visit the place first and check it out. I would try and take my dog with me and visit, to see how the dog reacted. For an example of the possible downside of doggie day care - and some good thoughts on what they should be, read this short thread: kicked out of doggy daycare...
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