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Old 07-16-2009, 11:32 PM
 
369 posts, read 1,826,492 times
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Separation anxiety has finally beat me I think. I love my dog!! His anxiety is killing me.. I want to rip the hair out of my head.. It's become so horrible, I can't imagine putting up with another day of this..

When we first got the dog, we found out he has separation anxiety.. So we enrolled him into doggy day camp.. After 3 months of day camp ($22 per day.... 3 to 5 days a week) we decided to put him to the test again.. What a failure.. He goes into a frenzy, howls, pee's and poops in his crate.. Just panics the whole entire time we are gone (3 hours).

Our neighbors hate us.. We can't afford to keep bringing him to day care.. I just don't know what to do.. I hate this.. Not only am I attached to him, but I'm pretty sure anyone else would have given up on him by now.. I can't give him away.. I just don't have the heart to do so.. I'm certain he'd end up in a shelter, or dead ...

I thought he would do better this time around considering he now loves his crate. He's been doing really good with his training.. Plus he does fine while at day care.. On days we bring him to day care, he's gone the full 8 hours.. I thought he'd blow right through the 3 hour gap that no one is home!

Anyways, I'm just not sure what to do.. Should we keep on leaving him home.. pissing off our neighbors.. plus walking in on a filthy dog and crate... I'm afraid he wouldn't break.. the problem might manifest into something worse..

Should we keep up with the day care.. Even though we simply can't afford it?

Should I just give up on him and try to find someone that can deal with this nonsense??????????

I'm so damn torn it sucks.. It's really starting to take it's toll on my relationship with my GF.. We haven't gone out together since the day we got our lil manchester terrier..

This will all be worth it if I knew we could beat this damn thing.. but as of right now there is no end in sight......

: smack::s mack:
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Old 07-17-2009, 03:19 AM
 
Location: Santa Barbara CA
4,704 posts, read 10,124,181 times
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I am so sorry to hear that you are still having problems but after getting to know the manchester terrier that plays with Dazzle at the dog park I can understand as he is non stop energy. wow!

I just posted in another thread but will say it again here: Is it the same 3 hrs that he is alone every day? If so it might make this even easier. You might want to consider what I call " dog sharing" . There are alot of senior citizens that live in retirement places that do not allow pets, or live at home that either can not afford a dog because of limited income or just do not feel they can take care of a dog yet they really miss having a dog in their life. Alot of them live alone and are very lonely too. Maybe you can find one that would be willing to spend 3 hrs a day with a fun little dog? Some might even do it for free as they could have the love of a dog without the expense or hassle. Having a dog to walk with or just spend a few hours a day with could brighten their day.

Having done agility demos for years at some of the retirement places in town I know how much many of them miss having a dog as they tell us and our visits get more of them out then any other activity the places have! We even have some that offer to walk the dogs as we set up equipment and they have a ball with the dogs. To me it is very sad to see so many elderly people crave the love of a dog and be denied that love on a daily basis.

There are a few seniors and even a few college students I have met at the dog park that are brining dogs that they do not own and they have said that they do it for free as they miss owning a dog and love to hang out with all the dog owners at the park. Some are there everyday so it is what I call a dog share as they get out and have fun with a dog that they have come to know well and the dog owners get a break knowing that while they are working the dog gets to be loved and have fun. There are also a couple dog owners that bring a friends or neighbors dog with them every day as that person is at work. They just stop by and pick the dog up on the way.

I have a coworker that like me works 3 -12 hr night shifts a week and she owns a small dog, Her neighbor works alot and has a beautiful young golden so she offered to let the Golden come play with her dog while he is at work and takes the Golden to the dog park etc all for free. She enjoys having a 2nd dog without the expense and her dog enjoys having a pal to play with and the Golden and owner benefit so it is a win win situation. My Dazzle loves this set up too as that means he can play with the Golden as he loves her!!!

So you might want to consider such a "dog share" as it could brighten someone elses day and at the same time save you alot of heart ache.
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Old 07-17-2009, 04:56 AM
 
Location: Kenmore, WA
7,455 posts, read 6,445,238 times
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Default Don't give up, keep going. The rewards will be worth it.

Bench;

I am so sorry to read about this ordeal for both of you. You did not include what you've tried, so far, so if I include the actions you've already taken, forgive my redundancy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dashdog View Post
So you might want to consider such a "dog share" as it could brighten someone elses day and at the same time save you alot of heart ache.
First, Dashdog's suggestion was an EXCELLENT one. My only concern would be whether your MT would be too much for an elderly person to manage. If not a senior, perhaps a neighbor -- at least as a temporary measure.

For a more long-term approach, have you attempted to work with MT on his anxiety? Tamar Geller's "The Loved Dog" describes working with your companion to help it overcome it's anxiety, by play training and socialization efforts. (Basically, you play "hide from the dog" for incrementally longer periods of time, and them catch them in the act of not reacting, and reward them lavishly.)

Have you considered getting him a companion? Aside from the popularity of having only one dog, it is contrary to a dog's nature to be alone for any length of time. Even if they cannot be with another dog, any other companion is preferable. If you cannot find someone outside your home to be a companion, maybe you know someone with a well-behaved dog that could come stay with yours? Play dates with this dog, to be certain of their mutual regard for one another would be a good idea.

The companion doesn't have to be a dog, just a companion your MT would find comforting to be with. Since he is a terrier, you wouldn't want a small mammal, but an older animal large enough that he would not think it prey.

Dogs of any breed are intelligent enough to get bored and frustrated with boredom. Both Geller, and Randy Grime ("Don't Dump the Dog") advocate setting up games for the dog to play in your absence. There are toys you can embed healthy treats into, and then hide them around their area. If you play with your dog at this when you are together, you can instill a love for this type of activity that will last into the times you are apart.

Realize, please, that this relationship is a commitment you've made for life. Think of it as a game. You have to get through this successfully, or you don't get to move to the next level. Failure isn't an option. Your MT is telling you that you both need to find a different approach. Make it enjoyable for both of you. Include your GF in the process, and make it a fun challenge for all of you.

Keep coming to the forum. If my post doesn't help, someone else's will.

God bless, and keep trying.
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Old 07-17-2009, 06:43 AM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,813 posts, read 55,762,637 times
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In the short term, while you work on better approaches, ask your vet about medication. It's better than putting him down or giving him up.
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Old 07-17-2009, 06:58 AM
 
593 posts, read 2,559,936 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bench Warmer View Post
I can't give him away.. I just don't have the heart to do so.. I'm certain he'd end up in a shelter, or dead ...
Manchester terriers, as do most purebred breeds have rescue organizations that you can turn your dog over to rather than a public shelter. I actually know someone who is involved with manchester terrier rescue.

I don't think you should give up, but if you do give up, I just wanted you to know that there are alternatives to the public shelter.
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Old 07-17-2009, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Montreal -> CT -> MA -> Montreal -> Ottawa
16,648 posts, read 26,615,464 times
Reputation: 26590
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
In the short term, while you work on better approaches, ask your vet about medication. It's better than putting him down or giving him up.
Oh! Good idea! A friend of mine had a SEVERE problem with his Lab's separation anxiety. The vet prescribed Clomicalm and my friend said the results were incredible.
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Old 07-17-2009, 07:21 AM
 
7,079 posts, read 34,456,327 times
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There IS a way to train a dog with separation anxiety, BUT it's time consuming and slow. I would call around to some trainers who ONLY use positive methods and see if they can help you. If push comes to shove, a breed specific rescue group might be the answer to find a stay-at-home parent for him.
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Old 07-17-2009, 07:42 AM
 
Location: Jax, FL
90 posts, read 293,383 times
Reputation: 55
Another thought is to leave the tv or radio on when you leave.

My brother had a cat that would destroy the house if left alone, but if the radio or tv was on the cat was fine.
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Old 07-17-2009, 08:09 AM
 
13,773 posts, read 33,825,110 times
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Sorry.. I don't know if this was suggested previously but how about putting him in a gated kitchen or the bathroom? I have a JRT who did the same thing when he was in a crate he would go crazy but he didn't mind being left alone in the kitchen.

Also, you might try 'rescue remedy' to see if that helps calm him down
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Old 07-17-2009, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Branson, Missouri
7,282 posts, read 17,211,269 times
Reputation: 3753
Make sure your dog is getting plenty of exercise before you want to leave him.

I have problems with one of my dogs and separation anxiety and we've had him almost a year now. He's not as bad as he used to be with it but tiring him out helps alot.
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