U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Pets > Dogs
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-16-2010, 12:46 PM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,752 posts, read 4,658,128 times
Reputation: 3680
I HATED my best friend's dog. Let me preface by saying I spent a lot of time with this person, so it was almost like he was MY dog, too.

This dog was ugly, dirty, loud, and annoying as hell. I could not STAND him. Every time he came near me I pushed him away and tried to focus my attention on his second dog (whom I adored).

One weeked, we all went on a getaway trip--just us two and both dogs. I realized on this trip how much this dog LOVED me. He wasn't trying to be annoying, but trying to get my attention because he LOVED me! It was the most humbling experience to see this little dog fight for my attention and affection, even though I couldn't stand him for the longest time. From that point on, I couldn't wait to see this dog and would go to my friend's house JUST to see Socks. He was still annoying, loud, ugly, and dirty, but he became one of my favorite dogs ever. That was largely why I decided to get my own dog, and THAT has been the best decision I've ever made.

My point is, you may not click with this dog now, but you will. Give it time! Dogs love you regardless, even if you can't stand them at first.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-16-2010, 12:50 PM
 
Location: Virginia
1,040 posts, read 926,005 times
Reputation: 875
Quote:
Originally Posted by groar View Post
things would probably be better if the family instituted a training regimen. rewarding him for undesirable behavior just brings more of that behavior. they say that you are always training your dog, you just may not be training them to do what you want. if he's better behaved, i'm sure you will be able to get past the looks. my husband strongly dislikes our dog's physical type (scruffy), but she's a wonderful dog and he got over it quickly. he even points out dogs like that as cute now.

find a local trainer certified by the apdt (link here: Dog Trainer Search) and take a class, or check out the book "the power of positive dog training" by pat miller for a basic 6-week obedience course based on positive reinforcement. everyone in your family has to be consistent with the dog for best results, though, and training is a lifelong commitment. training a dog to misbehave (which is what they are doing when they praise unwanted behaviors) is not doing the dog any favors. and his rough play with the cats could end up seriously hurting them someday unless he's taught to be more gentle (or not play with them at all). my cats taught the dog what the boundaries are themselves, but if your cats don't do that, you need to step in.

i'll echo the sentiment that you shouldn't take out your frustration with your husband and family on the dog, and next time you need to make sure that everyone is truly happy with the adoption decision.
Thanks for this information, Groar. I was thinking about doing a training program with him too. Just last night he somehow knocked down a bird feeder that my mom made for us and chewed it all to bits.

I agree I do need to be more positive around him. Our cats will have to step up and show him that they don't like those hard bites, but they're very timid. Hopefully they will soon though.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2010, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Virginia
1,040 posts, read 926,005 times
Reputation: 875
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
What I'm saying is that it might not be a bad idea to add another dog to the household that you like. It's totally normal for couples to have different dogs for each other. BUT only do this if your current dog and your husband have a strong loving relationship. There's simply no sense adding another dog to the household if the current dog isn't feeling any love from anyone. But if you're the only one who doesn't feel the love, I don't think it's a crazy idea for you to get another dog just for yourself, one that you absolutely adore. And only do this if you train the current dog very well and plan to devote yourself to training both dogs.
I agree! Chase loves my husband. Chase follows me around too, begs, he listens to me too. I don't yell at him or anything bad or -gasp- hit him if he does something bad, so I think he's looking for me to pay more attention to him. I think he follows me because he knows I do all the "chores" for him, but he knows he can get treats from my DH, lol!

I might look into getting another dog after the summertime, when the cats are older too. They get rambunctious at night also, our house can be a disaster with them LOL!

Thanks again for your kind advice, I will abide by it!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2010, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
15,943 posts, read 27,826,091 times
Reputation: 11568
It's definitely displaced anger that should be directed at your husband. And you need to develop a spine. He insisted you adopt a dog you didn't want, he showed no interest in your opinion, and he was clearly inconsiderate of your time when he made you do everything for the dog. You both need help, preferably marriage counseling, so you can keep this marriage toegther. Today the dog, tomorrow what? Move across the country? Have a child you're not ready for? Quit his job? All these things take compromise, which he doesn't seem to know how to do. Good luck and please don't take it out on this poor dog.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2010, 12:59 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX, USA
5,125 posts, read 6,563,075 times
Reputation: 2424
I don't have any other useful advice to give other than what's already been said but I wanted to say Good luck and let us know how things are progressing!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2010, 01:03 PM
 
Location: Virginia
1,040 posts, read 926,005 times
Reputation: 875
Quote:
Originally Posted by MAtheBanker View Post

My point is, you may not click with this dog now, but you will. Give it time! Dogs love you regardless, even if you can't stand them at first.

Thanks so much! True, he's only been in our house for 4 months and already I'm coming to conclusions. Your story was great! It might (I hope) have the same outcome for me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2010, 01:04 PM
 
Location: North Jersey
10,496 posts, read 14,353,075 times
Reputation: 6103
Quote:
Originally Posted by skeet09 View Post
I don't have any other useful advice to give other than what's already been said but I wanted to say Good luck and let us know how things are progressing!
Ditto

and post a pic of Chase if you can
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2010, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Lompoc,CA
1,156 posts, read 2,795,341 times
Reputation: 1016
I would like to see a pic of Chase too! Poor guy! I LOVE Boxers,guess thats why I have one.I dont
care for fuzzy,furry,pointy nosed dogs. I made the mistake of adopting a beagle/chow mix and that
dog was not my favorite pet. After she died, I made SURE to get the kind of dog hubs and I have always adored. A BOXER. We all make mistakes,but try to hang in there and do your best. If in the end you still cant bond,you might be best to re-home him. Just a thought.....


Greenchili
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2010, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Virginia
1,040 posts, read 926,005 times
Reputation: 875
Quote:
Originally Posted by njkate View Post
Ditto

and post a pic of Chase if you can

I will root around on my home computer, I know I must have saved one or two on there! Will post when I find one, definitely.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-16-2010, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Virginia
1,040 posts, read 926,005 times
Reputation: 875
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenchili View Post
I would like to see a pic of Chase too! Poor guy! I LOVE Boxers,guess thats why I have one.I dont
care for fuzzy,furry,pointy nosed dogs. I made the mistake of adopting a beagle/chow mix and that
dog was not my favorite pet. After she died, I made SURE to get the kind of dog hubs and I have always adored. A BOXER. We all make mistakes,but try to hang in there and do your best. If in the end you still cant bond,you might be best to re-home him. Just a thought.....


Greenchili

Thanks Greenchili. I'm doing my best with him lol. I guess everyone has a preference on certain animals that they wanted. I was thinking of getting a playmate for him after summertime, he has a lot of pent up energy too and sometimes we're exhausted at night to play with him. Thanks again!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Pets > Dogs

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top