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Old 02-11-2013, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
4,486 posts, read 14,920,188 times
Reputation: 3919

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NHartphotog View Post
Be aware if you expect an inheritance and/or family home: many end of life illnesses require nursing homes, and these cost at least $8,000 a month (in advance) for abysmal care bordering on criminal. Medicare pays only the first 100 days; while the elderly can spend years or decades there. Nursing homes will steal your loved one's pain medication (Hospice or not) for days at a time, and if you object your loved one will be threatened and hurt (though no bruises will be visiible). Moving the loved one is almost impossible without huge amounts of money up front.
Don't you have nursing home insurance?!

My parents both have policies that allow for nearly indefinite care in a nursing home or assisted living center. I think before something like that would ever happen, they'd hire a live-in nurse.

My grandpa had quite a bit of trouble getting around when he was in his 90's and my grandma couldn't take care of him. They hired a live-in nurse to take care of them and it worked out very well. It's actually a wash between the cost of nursing home care.

There are some BEAUTIFUL assisted living centers in Scottsdale that rival luxury accommodations. Here's a few that are well known:

Senior Living Care in Scottsdale AZ | Arte Retirement Community
Services & Amenities | The Retreat at Desert Cove

Granted most charge a LOT but...quite a few wealthy older people live in Scottsdale.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,215 posts, read 7,565,684 times
Reputation: 7717
Quote:
Originally Posted by chompy View Post
My dad and his four brothers and sisters inherited their parents' house, and they've been at each other's throats for the past five years deciding whether to sell it or not.
That's why I'm glad my grandparents sold their farm so they could move to a smaller place before they passed away. If they had tried to pass it on to all their kids, it probably would have destroyed the family. Not that anyone would have had malicious intentions, but a large property or significant amount of money like that can have a way of driving people crazy.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:04 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,207 posts, read 50,499,962 times
Reputation: 60095
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJBest View Post
By the time your parents are old, don't you know how much is coming? My parents are in their 60s and have set up trusts for my sisters and I. Their will is written. The insurance policies are set up.

If you haven't had the discussion with your parents by their late age, you're likely not getting much.
LOL, I think that's funny. "Don't you know how much is coming."

Not everyone's family had money or had "investments", stocks and bonds. My mother lives in her house, which is her main asset. She does have a bank account and CDs, but I doubt there's even $50K total there. The house is paid for, but she may NEED that asset for care in her old age. She is 84 and her mother lived to be 94. Right now Mom's healthy, but if she ever has a stroke or anything, that house is going to help pay for her care.

I'm one of 7 kids, 6 still living, so no, I'm not counting on any big bucks coming my way someday.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:32 AM
 
2,885 posts, read 3,397,252 times
Reputation: 4051
Quote:
Originally Posted by Retroit View Post
Why does it not surprise me that Baby Boomers would expect an inheritance? Talk about spoiled!
Talk about poor reading skills.

The word "expect" has a number of different connotations. One connotation is "demand" or "deserve," which is the connotation that probably would be insinuated by a hack trying to make some kind of morality play.

Another connotation has to do with logical deduction -- for example, I have examined my finances and expect to have enough money to last until I am whatever age. Or I expect to run out of money at whateverelse age. Or I expect to receive an inheritance. These have nothing to do with the ideas of demanding or deserving; rather, they simply report the result of a dispassionate and rational analysis.
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Lake Oswego, Manhattan, Aspen
3,135 posts, read 3,955,456 times
Reputation: 11035
Well, apparently, I'm from the first year of 'Gen X'. DH and I worked our way out of deep poverty. We started trust funds for our kids as soon as they were born, and before we had any real assets of our own. Virtually everything has always been in their names. Then again, they've been making and saving money since they were able to walk. But we're 'Gen X', apparently.

There were two famous design professionals in our old neighborhood, who were Boomers. They had affluent parents, but had worked incredibly hard to get where they were. They were anything but 'spoiled'. Their kid, on the other hand is spoiled beyond belief. Must be over thirty by now. Never completed a semester of college. Never had a job, except for an "art gallery" they opened for him (lasted as long as the lease on the building... and would have closed even earlier, except for the lease). His 'health problems' (cigarettes, booze and drugs) rule their lives. He has isolated them from their friends and families. They are the laughing stock of our old metro, and gossip about their kid's exploits follow them from their new metro (where they moved to escape everyone telling them to boot the rotter and face reality). They sent him to a colony for 'Allergic People' in Hawaii. But he was expected to do chores, so he suddenly realized he was allergic to fumes from the Volcano. Poor little six-foot 200lb. thing is so frail he can barely lift a cigarette to his lips.

These Boomers' sets of parents, btw, each left substantial monies to their kids... monies which I'm sure have been totally depleted by psychiatrists, rehab facilities, criminal attorneys, etc., etc., necessary for ministering to these Boomers' spoiled brat. (oh, and setting up the gallery for him, and paying to have a book produced/ghost-written 'by' their brilliant 'psychologist' son... who, you'll remember, never completed a single semester of college...) (Oh, and all the money that went to boarding schools in Connecticut... and unrefundable tuition to private day schools, when Sonny Boy decided at the last moment he couldn't face another moment in that horrible local school... two years in a row....) (funny how the old office managers know the new office managers who all know ladies in the Junior League...who phone everybody that kid has ever treated like dirt, with the latest news)

Anyway, Katrina blew down a bunch of trees on his parents' new estate in the new whitopia where they'd moved to escape the gossip about their precious baby (moving their businesses to another state for Sonny's sake had cost them hundreds of thousands, btw). So, 'Dad' was having new trees put in around the swimming pool, and Precious Baby looks at him and says, "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad, I hope you know that the money for those trees is depleting my inheritance."

I so wish he was the only one. Unfortunately, I could spend a month telling you about people in just our OLD metro with kids almost this bad. I mean Precious Tree-Resenting Baby would probably be a picnic, compared to this fortysomething 'kid' from the same community (again, with a hard-working Boomer parent, whose resources and inheritance, I'm imagining, will be going entirely toward helping the family's one descendant). I think the cigarette is a nice touch, as well as is his 'reaching out' to 'involve' the community driving by in their cars. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYbZ1GQMviI All this has unfolded since we moved away. I'm fascinated in a ghoulish sort of way: King Freak | Jackson Free Press | Jackson, MS And there are so many stories from people half a generation ahead of mine, whose kids have turned out this way. Those Boomers were our idols. They had the most beautiful homes, the most beautiful yards, the most beautiful cars. Half the people in our old neighborhoods had interiors that were in magazines. They worked and worked and worked to get all of this. Most of them had worked so hard and done so well. But their kids...

And then, I can go into PORTLAND, and see whole neighborhoods of spoiled non-boomers expecting inheritances.

Oh, yeah! It's the Boomers who are the spoiled ones. Yeah, right...
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Old 02-11-2013, 06:45 PM
 
24,511 posts, read 34,122,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
LOL, I think that's funny. "Don't you know how much is coming."

Not everyone's family had money or had "investments", stocks and bonds. My mother lives in her house, which is her main asset. She does have a bank account and CDs, but I doubt there's even $50K total there. The house is paid for, but she may NEED that asset for care in her old age. She is 84 and her mother lived to be 94. Right now Mom's healthy, but if she ever has a stroke or anything, that house is going to help pay for her care.

I'm one of 7 kids, 6 still living, so no, I'm not counting on any big bucks coming my way someday.
You proved my point eloquently.
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Old 02-11-2013, 06:46 PM
 
Location: Kalamalka Lake, B.C.
2,966 posts, read 3,761,042 times
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Dad was always referred to by relatives as "over-insured". Since the parents just made their 64th wedding anniversary, and mom's side of the family has a tendency to live 90 - 100, my bros. and I have "calculated" that Dad planned it perfectly. Insurance is now even paying for a caregiver of some sort, though Mom says she has to teach the person to cook. ??

Right about the time that Mom breaks the worlds' longest living person record all the money will be gone. GO MOM!!!!
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,022 posts, read 16,943,481 times
Reputation: 32174
Regarding Grandview Gloria's post #35 upthread: What an interesting tale. It would be instructive to be able to know what percentage of Boomers' children conform to the model you have described and what percentage are not spoiled at all. Alas, that's unknowable, but let's hope the spoiled, dysfunctional ones do not predominate.

That post also illustrates the folly of people who worked hard for what they have forgetting that the hard work formed their characters and figuring that they can put their children on easy street, thus having the children short-circuit the "work and effort" part. Everybody loses - the parents, the children, and society.

Thanks for the post.
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:57 PM
 
24,714 posts, read 26,785,278 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by french paris View Post
Agree but human beings will not ever change
Unfortunately, true.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:01 PM
 
24,714 posts, read 26,785,278 times
Reputation: 22709
Quote:
Originally Posted by City Guy997S View Post
I saw that first hand in a family....

Grandma was Italian immigrant, lived nicely but was frugal. Son was 60's, hadn't worked in 20 years and had some major health issues. His big dream was spending mom's money when she died. She tried to play the whole family with the "be nice to me or you are out of the will!"

Irony- old lady lived to be 91, her greedy son died 6 years prior and never got to spend a dime!
Son lived 25 years dreaming of his inheritance which never came......
In this case, it seems like justice was served .

But really...isn't life like that....when you sit around counting on one thing to happen, it has a way of never happening...or when it does, it ends up not being as great as you thought it would. Wise people know this and the unwise never listen.

A lot of times people blow inheritances. If you have bad financial habits with a small amount of money, you'll have bad habits with a large amount. I had a friend of a friend who inherited 700K. He blew most of the money on Disney paraphernalia, expensive suits, and gambling trips to Reno. This was a guy in his early 50s, working his butt off as a hairdresser in San Francisco, and who was HIV+. He blew through all the money in 5 or 6 years and was stuggling to pay the rent every month. Even my friend said he could have bought a house in SF with that money. Or alternatively, left it in the municipal bonds he inherited. Even at a low 3% rate of interest, that's $21K per year...it could have been a nice supplement to one's income so that he could have worked part time with less stress. But habits are habits
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