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She is the definition of bankruptcy. File and get her life back. She will have new credit cards in months and can buy a new home in 2 years. It will not be as bad as she thinks.
4 pages of vituperative chiding (and worse) of the person in question. Why so much anger? Here's why: because she's a medical doctor, and earns $170K/year. People are envious. So to assuage their pangs of inadequacy they ascribe to this person all sorts of lack of practical wisdom.
If she's in her mid-30s and is adamant about motherhood, what options did she have? As I've been writing on this board for some time, the more successful somebody becomes, the more difficult it is to secure a life-partner. Personally I'd be repulsed by the decision to have a baby, whether within marriage, or outside of it. But this lady felt the imperatives of biology, and acted as best as she could. Would she have been better off with some blue-collar flunky who adores country "music", swears by Bud Light, spends his evening watching reality-TV, and mows lawns for a living?
Yes, she made some unfortunate decisions, each in isolation manageable, then snowballing into a disaster. What to do now? How about the one thing that nobody has suggested: appeal to her parents for child care? Have them move in with her. The father can tend to the house, the mother can tend to the [grand]child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ
what kind of a birdbrain buys a million dollar house on a 170k salary?
That depends entirely on the area. For example, in Northern Virginia (DC suburbs), NOT buying a million-dollar house on a $170K salary would be nuts! What likely happened here is that the person in question bought an unusually grand house in an overheated market in a relatively economically backward part of the country. This is why the price collapsed. Had she bought in the NE corridor or the California coastal cities, she would have done just fine. If she bought a mansion in Las Vegas or the Midwest, well, then I agree that she overbought.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justanokie
If she was that lonely/desperate a good vibrator would have made a better play toy than a kid and cost a whole lot less. And if its a Mr Right she wanted then having a kid seriously put her at a disadvantage in that department.
A very valid point. I personally would have been thrilled to date someone like her, were it not for the child. Her decision to reproduce has severely impacted her marital candidacy.
I know an MD who got herself into the hole financially so badly that she was trapped into leasing and releasing an expensive car. She was maxed out on credit cards, playing the balance transfer game to get the lowest interest rate on her huge credit card debt. She literally had NO resources to simply buy her car at the end of the lease, or buy another, much cheaper car. She was trapped - the only way that she could have a car was to sign on for another very expensive lease, which the leasing company would do because they knew she would pay, even though she had NOTHING to her name except debt - but she had a 200K/yr income. The way this all happened, of course, was overspending. She spent, spent, spent. Expensive private schools for the kids. Expensive remodeling on the house. Expensive summer camps. Expensive vacations. Expensive clothing, food, etc. Her wallet was always open for anything for the kids, and her idea of the basic necessities for herself was what I would have considered luxurious indulgences for myself, even though my income was higher than hers. She blamed it all on an ex, who she said encouraged her to spend, but her spending continued unabated after the ex was long gone.
My point is that no matter how high your income is, you can still easily spend yourself into the trap of poverty, just because you never knew how to tell yourself, "No, I can't afford that."
If you ignore the student loans, the payment on a mil dollar mortgage is only 4800 a month or 34% of her income, a much lower ratio than conforming loans require.
Nanny may not like being ignored, I saw a woman once who didn't want to be ignored, unpleasant things can happen around children in this situation.
As to ignoring the student loan, well heck, lets ignore all the bills and she can have a great few months in Vegas!
The problem is, Uncle Sam and nanny want to be paid.
Quote:
Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman
Should five per cent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah I'm the taxman
If you drive a car, I'll tax the street,
If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat.
If you get too cold I'll tax the heat,
If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet.
Don't ask me what I want it for
If you don't want to pay some more
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman
Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman
And you're working for no one but me.
They have degrees in education or early childhood development, or both. They have foreign language skills. They know exactly how to teach proper ediquette and social skills.
In addition to their salary, they get a lot of all expenses paid international travel. They are often paid more than $50,000 a year. They tend to be called "governess" instead of "nanny" and none of them are working for doctors who make $170,000.
That depends entirely on the area. For example, in Northern Virginia (DC suburbs), NOT buying a million-dollar house on a $170K salary would be nuts! What likely happened here is that the person in question bought an unusually grand house in an overheated market in a relatively economically backward part of the country. This is why the price collapsed. Had she bought in the NE corridor or the California coastal cities, she would have done just fine. If she bought a mansion in Las Vegas or the Midwest, well, then I agree that she overbought.
huh? the idea that the house possibly dropped in value doesnt change the fact that she cant afford to pay for that house along with all the other expenses she has. i dont see how that would be different in northern virginia.
I was referring to people saying a million dollar home wasn't affordable to someone making 170,000. A million dollar home is well within the affordability of someone making 170,000, just not someone who also has that debt and that nanny.
I was referring to people saying a million dollar home wasn't affordable to someone making 170,000. A million dollar home is well within the affordability of someone making 170,000, just not someone who also has that debt and that nanny.
maybe its possible, but your lifestyle will be closer to a minimum wage earner than a person with a million dollar house. in her case, just her student loan debt on top of the mortgage/property tax/homeowners insurance/utilites would crush her on a million dollar home. but even someone without such expenses would have a tough time swinging that house on that salary.
here is a calculator to play with a bit to see what they think is affordable:
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I'm the taxman
