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Certainly many, many people are held back my alcohol or drug abuse, but there is another common factor. On this forum especially we seem to see a collection of losers. The losers never see it that way but it is clear to many of us. Losers always have excuses. They blame society, or politicians or "oligarchs" or some other group for their situation. They can have all the opportunities in the world, but they will still be losers. By contrast the winners take responsibility for their lives and work to make success and improvements.
I understand and agree smart decisions make a better life. That was really my point. I was "allowed" by society to make stupid choice after stupid choice and still get do-overs. Many do not get to make up for stupid choices. If I hadn't been born with advantages, I could be like the many who never get the do-over, who drag criminal records around for their stupid choice that affects everything forever, while I got a clean slate over and over not because of anything I did but for who I was and what I looked like and mainly the perception of society about whether I deserved second and third and fourth chances. Would I have gotten the same chance to make stupid mistakes and then put them in the past and start over if I weren't a young pretty white girl? I believe I wouldn't have.
There are millions of poor in this country who would love a do-over but would never pass the background check for a professional license or even at a job at McDonalds because society treated their stupid choices differently than mine, even when they were identical to mine. People want to believe it's a level playing field but it's not.
The playing field is never going to be level. For most of my life, white males have had an easier time getting ahead. I was born female, and just worked with the hand I was dealt.
These days , various forces are out to screw white males, IMO. It is what it is. Deal with it instead of using it as an excuse.
Nobody should have to apologize for the circumstances they were born into either.
I understand and agree smart decisions make a better life. That was really my point. I was "allowed" by society to make stupid choice after stupid choice and still get do-overs. Many do not get to make up for stupid choices. If I hadn't been born with advantages, I could be like the many who never get the do-over, who drag criminal records around for their stupid choice that affects everything forever, while I got a clean slate over and over not because of anything I did but for who I was and what I looked like and mainly the perception of society about whether I deserved second and third and fourth chances. Would I have gotten the same chance to make stupid mistakes and then put them in the past and start over if I weren't a young pretty white girl? I believe I wouldn't have.
There are millions of poor in this country who would love a do-over but would never pass the background check for a professional license or even at a job at McDonalds because society treated their stupid choices differently than mine, even when they were identical to mine. People want to believe it's a level playing field but it's not.
Not all stupid choices are treated the same or given the same chance to rebound from.
i can tell you this , i am still friendly with some of my old child hood friends from the projects where i grew up .
they had every opportunity i did , in fact i begged them to go to apex with me to learn a skill . they declined and made the choices to just float from one dead end job to another . well i found a very lucrative career by going to learn air conditioning and refrigeration that gave me a 40 year run and a good steady income .
they are now raising their families in the projects and still are struggling with their low end jobs. this wasn't luck! they had bad plans and never created opportunity .
It does happen... in 35 years managing low income subsidized housing I can count 5 success stories of Head of Household through hard work and determination reach a point where they no longer needed or qualified for assistance.
The fact is here... once you are in the program many other benefit doors open... it takes a rare individual to leave the security of government programs to make it on their own.
The successes were all women... 4 of the 5 were under 30 and all had a plan... they earned Nursing Degrees... the older lady was able to get on with the Transit Authority at 41... she was able to pass all the background, drug, and skill tests presented.
It isn't just about luck, planning, hard work etc there is much more at play. One thing is the sequence of events in your life and the year and timing of those events. So many early boomers had their lives shaped by a simple decision made by a bunch of folks they didn't know sitting on their local selective service board. Or their draft sequence number. If you don't think being or not being drafted was a significant life determiner .......
Go to college? What is the job market when you come out? Good or bad? That can shape your future career right there.
For younger folks now it can often be not about their financial planning but their parents.
Mom and dad pay for college=no debt
You borrow=debt
Just so much beyond our control. The trick is planning around what we can control and trying to have alternative plans if things detour south. I said detour not head because the goal is to get back on track to towards your intended goal.
When I graduated with my Engineering Degree it was the worst unemployment since the Great Depression... pretty bleak and no lines of employers ready to take on new grads even here in Santa Clara.
As I had always worked through school, retail and auto repair, I had work... but nothing in my field... so I decided to start my own business and it was the single best financial decision of my life... ran it full time for 10 years and still have it on a reduced scale... Property Management.
There are millions of poor in this country who would love a do-over but would never pass the background check for a professional license or even at a job at McDonalds because society treated their stupid choices differently than mine, even when they were identical to mine. People want to believe it's a level playing field but it's not.
This is so true... several close friends in the construction business... they can't hire if you have a DUI or cannot be bonded or pass a drug test... these things follow you for years... even worse for many things if you have any domestic violence.
I've posted before about the father of my friend being a registered sex offender... his father and mother eloped days before he was sent to Vietnam... she was a few weeks short of 18 and he was 18.
Her parents went ballistic... the kids went to Nevada and lied on the license... her father wanted him in jail but since he was serving in Vietnam it was complicated.
Here is the kicker... after my friend was born things softened... they have been happily married almost 50 years... but in today's world what he did what have been professional suicide...
The family didn't even know until two deputies came to the door and asked for the retired Dad... all the old cases were gone through and his named popped up... both he and his wife invited the deputies in... so at 68 he learned his fate... just an example of how something done in your youth can follow you forever.
The playing field is never going to be level. For most of my life, white males have had an easier time getting ahead. I was born female, and just worked with the hand I was dealt.
These days , various forces are out to screw white males, IMO. It is what it is. Deal with it instead of using it as an excuse.
Nobody should have to apologize for the circumstances they were born into either.
In some careers it has been the opposite... one of my male high school friends wanted to be a nurse... his name is Pat... it was an uphill battle for years... he would show up for a job interview and the interviewer would think a mistake had been made... even in Nursing School.. the Dean had to accompany him for the home visit part of his program... NONE of the female nurses were stigmatized... he was the only male in the program at the time and was constantly the subject of jokes... but his personality was such that he was able to win over people...
30 years later things are much different but it sure was a difficult path...
the year you are born and who your parents are , is the "LUCK OF THE DRAW "
I along with others would disagree. Planned parenting is just that basing the number of children you have on your ability to support and guide them at the level you desire. Being born isn't luck in many cases it is the result of planning and love on the part of your parents. That includes raising, supporting and guiding you through your life. Oh yeah and if possible helping to enhance your financial wealth upon their death. Again folks may disagree but that is THEIR world view and this is MINE.
When I graduated with my Engineering Degree it was the worst unemployment since the Great Depression... pretty bleak and no lines of employers ready to take on new grads even here in Santa Clara.
As I had always worked through school, retail and auto repair, I had work... but nothing in my field... so I decided to start my own business and it was the single best financial decision of my life... ran it full time for 10 years and still have it on a reduced scale... Property Management.
Congrats, you took the variables you could control and hit a homerun.
Currently, the economy is doing very well. Business prospects are up, unemployment is down, employment is up. If a person cannot make it in this economy, she/he needs to rethink what they do for a living.
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