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Old 06-19-2018, 08:46 AM
 
17,628 posts, read 12,224,034 times
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If I got an inheritance I’d be thankful. If someone else got more it would be irrelevant to me. Are you upset your siblings got more? Would that be the same if it was the SPCA and your siblings were cutout?
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Old 06-19-2018, 08:52 AM
 
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In all fairness, it should be distributed equally or given to charity,FI! Parents should realize the affect that doing it any other way will only cause conflict. Sell the House, Split the bank / insurance payment, do it as a team or through an executor. Parents really need to open talks about their wishes.
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Old 06-19-2018, 09:10 AM
 
Location: The Triad (NC)
26,871 posts, read 57,924,091 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavalier View Post
I'm wondering how you all feel about that?
I have read a few articles about all the stickiness of this issue regarding wills and inheritance.
It's a divisive issue.
You want the truth?

My reading is that Pop anticipates you needing help from the others as time goes on,
and he trusts them to 'do what is right' ... at least enough to not further burden the
estate with the expense of a convoluted trust to do that instead.

The $100,000 that you did get is sort of like a test to see how well you manage things.
It makes for a great backstop emergency fund for a modest income adult.
It could serve as the foundation of a good investment portfolio for a good earner.

The key to it all though is the steadiness and reliability of whatever 'modest income'
might amount to -- and what measures can be taken to do a bit better than just 'modest'.
What measures ARE you taking?
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Old 06-19-2018, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
3,659 posts, read 1,199,959 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavalier View Post
I'm wondering how you all feel about that?


I have read a few articles about all the stickiness of this issue regarding wills and inheritance.


It's a divisive issue.
It's the parents' money, not yours. They are the ones to get to decide who gets what, or nothing if they so choose.

I already know I'll be getting less than I would've, because my father and I agreed to cash in part of my inheritance when I needed to replace my car 2 months ago, to the tune of $9,000. That's fine with me, because I'd rather have my new car and have my dad be here to watch me enjoy driving it, rather than have a huge chunk of cash and no dad anymore.

I don't understand people who quibble over inheritance. It's the worst form of blood money there is.
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Old 06-19-2018, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,018 posts, read 5,094,023 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
It's a parent's one last chance to stick it to the scapegoat child.

Or one of the siblings has worked long and secretly through psychological manipulation to convince the parent that s/he should be appointed executor of the estate, because the other adult children are naive about investments and cannot be trusted with large sums of money.
What does being the executor of the estate have to do with it? Just because you're appointed executor doesn't mean you get to choose who gets what.
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Old 06-19-2018, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
3,659 posts, read 1,199,959 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiGuy2.5 View Post
What does being the executor of the estate have to do with it? Just because you're appointed executor doesn't mean you get to choose who gets what.
Dad's appointed my eldest brother to be his executor. I'm glad about that, because I don't understand any of that side of things. Selling a house, etc. etc. Plus I'd be too emotional to think straight.
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Old 06-19-2018, 10:59 AM
 
17,628 posts, read 12,224,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kapikap View Post
In all fairness, it should be distributed equally or given to charity,FI! Parents should realize the affect that doing it any other way will only cause conflict. Sell the House, Split the bank / insurance payment, do it as a team or through an executor. Parents really need to open talks about their wishes.
In all fairness? What is that exactly? Iím not sure but thereís no such thing as fair here. If you or the OP are unhappy about their share they can always refuse or disclaim it
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Old 06-19-2018, 11:17 AM
 
9,322 posts, read 11,159,538 times
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I knew a retiree that had 5 kids, she intended to leave one kid out of the will since he was very very successful. Estate was worth about 350K. Each kid got about 70K vs. her original intention of about 88K each of the 4 kids. So it wasn't a big deal to the others and it would have definitely hurt the person left out.

Ironically.......the kid that was left out showed up on the estate settlement day with a stack of bills to deduct from the payout (everyone assumed they were gifts since such a big deal was made about it when the money was spent). That "extra" cost everyone about 5K each.

The 70K ended up being about 65K and to 3 of the 5 kids it was a big deal (2 were teachers, one was bad with money). It isn't life changing but certainly helped those 3 people.
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Old 06-19-2018, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Minnesovia
2,476 posts, read 637,818 times
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My older sibling is executor and they are getting a little more than me, my younger sibling, my mother told me years ago before her death, received around $60K for her college debt, as I recall, and that they were going to make the difference up in the inheritance. My younger sibling got about half as much as my portion of my dad's investments.

In fact they left a couple different notes with the financial company pertaining to such details.

The house - the bulk of the money to the three of us - is going to be split evenly 33.33% or whatever it comes out to.
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Old 06-19-2018, 11:30 AM
 
6,761 posts, read 2,629,921 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eliza61nyc View Post
Only because the children become greedy and self centered. (in general, I include my own babies) Sorry but I really think it's that simple. you say you dropped a lot of cash on a child's college and then that child is going to have the NERVE to get upset because he did not get what he feels is the same upon your death.


I'm sorry I find this thought process absolutely amazing.

lol, how about we teach our descendants that no one is "owed" any thing and if some one leaves them 25.00 bucks that's 25 bucks more than they had to work for?
It's like you didn't even read my post.

One child got a LOT more funds for education.

Instead of making our final words to our sons being about how the one required much more to get through college, we'd like that settled before the reading of the Will upon our deaths.

And in doing so, we'll tell the others, separately and privately, that the one has paid back the estate the overage (although it's not really the total amount, it's the gesture).

So that when the Will is read, everything is distributed equally.

If you don't like that, that's fine.

Personally, when our estate attorney suggest that I thought it was brilliant.

Have a nice day.
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