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Old 06-19-2018, 11:33 AM
 
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In another post you were spending unhatched eggs. It is up to the person owning funds in whatever shape to share it. Not like in Europe:>(
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Old 06-19-2018, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
4,681 posts, read 4,836,858 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavalier View Post
I'm wondering how you all feel about that?


I have read a few articles about all the stickiness of this issue regarding wills and inheritance.


It's a divisive issue.
If there was no reason given to why there was an unequal division, I would wonder - was she "the favorite", did I disappoint them in some way, did they not love me as much, etc. I would have an emotional reaction to why they didn't see us as being equally deserving versus the amount.

Greed will tear a family apart, if you allow it. So don't allow it. You each ended up with the amount that your parents intended for you to have. You need to come to terms with that and not let it affect your relationship with your siblings.
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Old 06-19-2018, 01:22 PM
 
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This is just a continuation of the parent's dilemma - we have to give to each child what they need, when they need it, according to the best of our ability.

Kid 1 married well, is rich. Kid 2 is poor. Parents write a will that mentions kid 1 with love, gives lots of sentimental items to kid 1, gives the money to kid 2.

Kid A was given a lot of money during parent's life. Kid B gets money in the will.

It's just how parents think.

Personally, if a kid came and asked for money "against my inheritance", I would only give it if I wanted to, AND I WOULD LET IT BE KNOWN THAT I AM GIVING THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT TO ALL THE OTHER KIDS RIGHT THEN AND THERE. That way, the asking kid understands that they're not gonna get a penny more than the others by draining the parent early. And the only way parent should do it is if they can easily afford it.
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Old 06-19-2018, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Texas
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Most lawyers advise against a parent doing this, as it can create significant problems later on. If there is a large amount at stake, (millions) one of the siblings could contest the will, which could lead to a protracted legal battle. Parents are better off dividing it in equal portions for each sibling.
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Old 06-19-2018, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Texas
6,490 posts, read 2,363,904 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HokieFan View Post
If there was no reason given to why there was an unequal division, I would wonder - was she "the favorite", did I disappoint them in some way, did they not love me as much, etc. I would have an emotional reaction to why they didn't see us as being equally deserving versus the amount. .
That is why a parent would be wise to state in their will, exactly why they are giving less to one sibling than the other. So that the kids will know and won't be left wondering why, because those questions can't be answered from the grave.
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Old 06-19-2018, 01:45 PM
 
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Given that you've explained (and your parents had already sort of explained) the reasoning -- the question is -- is this causing any discord among YOU and the siblings? OR -- do you as adults (I presume) get (understand) the decisions and rationale your parents used.

If one sibling got 60K to pay for school/school loans, or another sibling (for example) got 50K for a home downpayment -- to me it's totally understandable that parents would do what your's did -- especially since they'd sort of said that's what they were leaning toward.

Tax issues aside (for the different ways money is exchanged (gift vs inheritance) -- it sounds like your parents tried to keep things even in the end.

Now -- if one of the siblings doesn't "get" that, that's a shame. Especially if the amounts overall aren't THAT different when all is said and done.
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Old 06-19-2018, 01:58 PM
 
5,458 posts, read 6,129,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
That is why a parent would be wise to state in their will, exactly why they are giving less to one sibling than the other. So that the kids will know and won't be left wondering why, because those questions can't be answered from the grave.

Was thinking just this. Lawyers many times don't like it, but you can put anything you wish in a will. Specific instructions...to give, or not to give...or to specifically avoid a certain person benefitting in any manner. It is up to YOU what you wish to put in the document.


Current sister in law has benefitted a great deal during her mother's life. Property, interest free loans, substantial gifts....all to a n'er do well child.


Other daughter has done very well by working hard and being frugal.


Chances are Mom will balance that in the will, but who knows? It might go the other way...the n'er do well needs the money!


My kids behaved poorly at times during their lives. They were greedy and very hurtful without thinking. As of now, they are freely discussing what I am worth and what they might inherit when I kick the bucket. Let me just say they are in for a BIG surprise. "Equally" big, because one should try to be 'fair' or perhaps try to explain why they were not.


Either way, for my beneficiaries, the explanation will be in the text.
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Old 06-19-2018, 02:04 PM
 
7,649 posts, read 5,409,513 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavalier View Post
I'm wondering how you all feel about that?


I have read a few articles about all the stickiness of this issue regarding wills and inheritance.


It's a divisive issue.
Your parents made the decision, just live with it and move on.

\
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Old 06-19-2018, 02:30 PM
 
6,029 posts, read 6,525,537 times
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Quote:
If there was no reason given to why there was an unequal division, I would wonder - was she "the favorite", did I disappoint them in some way, did they not love me as much, etc. I would have an emotional reaction to why they didn't see us as being equally deserving versus the amount.
Quote:
That is why a parent would be wise to state in their will, exactly why they are giving less to one sibling than the other. So that the kids will know and won't be left wondering why, because those questions can't be answered from the grave.
The OP said in post #19:
Quote:
My older sibling is executor and they are getting a little more than me, my younger sibling, my mother told me years ago before her death, received around $60K for her college debt, as I recall, and that they were going to make the difference up in the inheritance. My younger sibling got about half as much as my portion of my dad's investments.

In fact they left a couple different notes with the financial company pertaining to such details.

The house - the bulk of the money to the three of us - is going to be split evenly 33.33% or whatever it comes out to.
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Old 06-19-2018, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Out West
20,632 posts, read 15,439,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kavalier View Post
I'm wondering how you all feel about that?


I have read a few articles about all the stickiness of this issue regarding wills and inheritance.


It's a divisive issue.
Be glad that you got anything at all. I fully expect to be completely ignored in any will, and the bulk will go to ,who I used to call, "the golden child" when they pass on. They may toss a few coins towards my younger brother...which I don't really think he cares to receive.

Regardless, you got something. Use it wisely.
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