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Old 06-19-2018, 05:39 AM
 
Location: Minnesovia
2,451 posts, read 629,701 times
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I'm wondering how you all feel about that?


I have read a few articles about all the stickiness of this issue regarding wills and inheritance.


It's a divisive issue.
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Old 06-19-2018, 06:20 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
40,885 posts, read 32,658,014 times
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Too many factors to make a blanket statement but I'll tell you this:

It's not uncommon for parents to do this. For instance, my mom's mom did not have a lot and did not leave my mom anything because she had a different father from the other siblings and had already inherited a chunk from her paternal grandmother.

Parents who have a child with a substance abuse problem sometimes don't leave that child money - it would only escalate their issues.

Parents sometimes have no relationship or a very poor relationship with one or more of their kids and this sad reality is reflected in their will.

Sometimes one child takes on most or even all of the responsibility of caring for elderly parents and those parents leave that child more of their estate.

In other words there are sometimes very reasonable reasons for different inheritances.

And sometimes it makes no sense to the survivors. But regardless, it is the parents' money and they can do with it what they will, but you know that.

Do you know the reason for the differences in inheritances in your parents' wills?
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Old 06-19-2018, 06:40 AM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,531 posts, read 42,708,506 times
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Sometimes parents have given a lot of money to some children over the years, while other children have not needed it, so they try to even it out in their will.
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Old 06-19-2018, 06:50 AM
 
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It's a parent's one last chance to stick it to the scapegoat child.

Or one of the siblings has worked long and secretly through psychological manipulation to convince the parent that s/he should be appointed executor of the estate, because the other adult children are naive about investments and cannot be trusted with large sums of money.
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Old 06-19-2018, 07:05 AM
 
Location: New York
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It probably wasn't meant to be divisive. They did what they felt was best. You need to let that go. Be happy you got anything. They could have donated their money to charity.
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Old 06-19-2018, 07:13 AM
 
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They probably spent different amounts of money on each sibling when they were alive too.
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Old 06-19-2018, 07:26 AM
 
6,713 posts, read 2,608,873 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraG View Post
They probably spent different amounts of money on each sibling when they were alive too.
We're facing that. We spent a LOT more on one child's college education than the others.

We've decided an amount (it's actually a small fraction of the excess we spent) and he needs to pay us that back - completely interest free - so that we don't have to make a difference in the amounts given in the will.

Because fair's fair. Everyone could see he got 3X the amount of college funding than the others, and we really want to leave it where everyone feels like they got a fair shot even though the numbers won't really work out that way.

It's the spirit of the thing.

Parents who punitively give kids different amounts are setting their descendants up for a lifetime of ill will.

Is that really the way to go out of this life?
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Old 06-19-2018, 07:34 AM
 
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Honestly, it’s a pretty private decision. Whether someone decides to donate it, or scatter it to the wind, that’s their decision.
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Old 06-19-2018, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia/South Jersey area
2,280 posts, read 1,033,859 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thatsright19 View Post
Honestly, it’s a pretty private decision. Whether someone decides to donate it, or scatter it to the wind, that’s their decision.
my late husband and I decided against inheritances just for that reason. I absolutely hate the assumption that this country has that every thing in life with kids has to be "fair". and the kids expectation that they are "owed" something.

We have told our young adults children that our money is exactly that. OUR money. we have charities that we support and will leave the bulk of our estate to them.

During their life time they have gotten. college education without loans, cars, vacations and various financial help. Now they are going to get an attitude because they think their inheritances aren't fair?? are you kidding me!!

op, it's only a decisive issue if you make it one. Your parents left you a gift, they were under no obligation to do so.
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Old 06-19-2018, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Philadelphia/South Jersey area
2,280 posts, read 1,033,859 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
We're facing that. We spent a LOT more on one child's college education than the others.



It's the spirit of the thing.

Parents who punitively give kids different amounts are setting their descendants up for a lifetime of ill will.

Is that really the way to go out of this lif
e?


Only because the children become greedy and self centered. (in general, I include my own babies) Sorry but I really think it's that simple. you say you dropped a lot of cash on a child's college and then that child is going to have the NERVE to get upset because he did not get what he feels is the same upon your death.


I'm sorry I find this thought process absolutely amazing.

lol, how about we teach our descendants that no one is "owed" any thing and if some one leaves them 25.00 bucks that's 25 bucks more than they had to work for?
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