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Old 07-06-2018, 02:12 PM
 
1,341 posts, read 1,230,450 times
Reputation: 9660

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Never apologize for your life. Don't even mention whatever disparity you perceive in your circumstances. Relax, be welcoming, and offer him whatever hospitality you are able to offer with a generous spirit. That is what he will remember.
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Old 07-06-2018, 02:15 PM
 
2,360 posts, read 1,027,668 times
Reputation: 2071
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
my wife didnt have any money growing up but man she doesnt let me get away with any dirty laundry laying around or leaving dirty dishes laying around. when anyone comes over, she cleans up no matter who it is. everybody thinks my house is spotless at all times. the truth is, it pretty much is but not quite as much as when people come over.
O i do the same.. I go in consuela mode and clean everything.. well try too if son doesnt go behind me and mess it up. But i get how your wife is, she and I could get alone just fine! lol
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Old 07-06-2018, 02:24 PM
 
1,931 posts, read 1,159,413 times
Reputation: 9146
Does he want to buy/adopt a puppy? Am I the only one that thinks it's odd for someone's boss to invite himself over to the house? No one should invite themselves anywhere.

As long as your house is clean and well-kept, no need to feel shame or embarrassment, though!
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Old 07-06-2018, 02:24 PM
 
1,326 posts, read 527,514 times
Reputation: 2308
Quote:
Originally Posted by hitpausebutton2 View Post
So my dog recently had pups, and my boss who is a CFO of a mulit million dollar company, was interested in our pups. This guy lives in a 500k house and drives a tesla. So he is pretty set for life.. He wants to come and visit me and the dogs, and here im the poor man living in a 75 single wide trailer, in a trailer park.. as some might call us trailer park trash. .But we are the cleanest community around. yards mowed, trailers are kept clean and updated. Just doesnt feel right or comfortable. Wife got mad at me for downgrading us, as we arent "poor" by her standards, but my standards is yea ,were poor.. one step up from being homeless, or one job lost away from living on the streets poor. Any advice? Put this in economics as this about it at personal level.
Just an FYI, your place sounds a lot nicer than many breeders places. Don't worry about it. Just because someone is doing well now doesn't mean they didn't come from the same background as you.
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Old 07-06-2018, 02:25 PM
 
Location: on the wind
4,131 posts, read 1,540,807 times
Reputation: 14729
Quote:
Originally Posted by hitpausebutton2 View Post
Maybe thats it.. IF it was any other regular tech that wanted to visit me, i wouldn't care as we are in same working loser class. In fact the 8 people i work with all live in low end housing or trailers and were close nit family. So we expect to see dirty laundry in the bathroom, or dishes in the sink. We attend to stick to our "kind". But him asking to visit just throws me off and didnt want to be rude and say no, "stick with your kind".
"Kind"? Don't people who drive Teslas and live in 500K houses get their clothes dirty, need to do laundry, need to eat, or leave dishes in a sink? Do all "working class" people have to live like slobs or can't they pick up their laundry or wash a dish? Why do you keep defining yourself by this sense of "working" class as if it's beneath everyone else? At bottom, any person who works a job is working class (and yes, I do understand the original meaning behind the term). Your CFO works a job just like you do. Even if he didn't have to work for a living he chose to. His family may be just as close knit, just as determined, just as worthy as yours.

Social classes exist because the people in them insist on preserving them. They can get this strange sense of security from never giving them up. It means they don't have to think outside the box they created for themselves. Ever heard of reverse snobbery? Give your boss a chance to be human.
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Old 07-06-2018, 02:26 PM
 
Location: NJ
22,674 posts, read 28,559,598 times
Reputation: 14611
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murk View Post
Does he want to buy/adopt a puppy? Am I the only one that thinks it's odd for someone's boss to invite himself over to the house? No one should invite themselves anywhere.

As long as your house is clean and well-kept, no need to feel shame or embarrassment, though!
that's where the puppies are. i assumed that OP was looking to get rid of them (either sell or give) and so the boss asked if he could come and see them. i doubt he said "im coming to your house tomorrow night to look at the dogs."
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Old 07-06-2018, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Proxima Centauri
3,754 posts, read 1,592,841 times
Reputation: 4147
Quote:
Originally Posted by hitpausebutton2 View Post
So my dog recently had pups, and my boss who is a CFO of a mulit million dollar company, was interested in our pups. This guy lives in a 500k house and drives a tesla. So he is pretty set for life.. He wants to come and visit me and the dogs, and here im the poor man living in a 75 single wide trailer, in a trailer park.. as some might call us trailer park trash. .But we are the cleanest community around. yards mowed, trailers are kept clean and updated. Just doesnt feel right or comfortable. Wife got mad at me for downgrading us, as we arent "poor" by her standards, but my standards is yea ,were poor.. one step up from being homeless, or one job lost away from living on the streets poor. Any advice? Put this in economics as this about it at personal level.
Give him one of the puppies. In two years you may put a down payment on a nicer house.
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Old 07-06-2018, 02:35 PM
 
33,035 posts, read 12,497,258 times
Reputation: 20934
It's easy to say not to be ashamed. But I know the feeling. Several friends of ours are living in much grander homes, driving fancier cars, going on vacations to Italy and Scotland.

When they visit, I enjoy their company and tell myself they came to see us not the house. But still.

Focus on the pups, and your shared interests. Ignore the rest.
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Old 07-06-2018, 02:37 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
3,996 posts, read 1,776,085 times
Reputation: 13784
Well I have people coming at 530 today & I'm mortified. And no; there is no piles of dirty laundry strewn around & no dishes in the sink.

But I live in a construction zone, moved into an unfinished house almost 4 years ago that I didnít want to move into but was moved anyway. And no; I have no say.

I left work to caregive so he could go to work & now all the income is his, tucked away in accounts Iím not joint on. ďHeĒ is a hoarder & doesnít finish anything he starts so the walls crumble into dust around me, Iím forced to clean unsealed bathrooms & kitchen, safeguard disabled child from exposed outlets where the switches hang out of the wall 5-6 inches from wires, tiles that have never been sealed that slip out from underneath your feet & try to appear tidy in a house that has not one closet door. Not one.

Iím going to smile while my soul dies a little more & pray that nobody has to use a restroom. Since both guests are in their 70ís; I can anticipate a huge embarrassment & hopefully not injured guests (The doorway is unfinished, with a closet right next to it I hide with a bookshelf & the seat is not bolted onto the toilet. You have to put it on every time you use it & hope it doesnít slide).
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Old 07-06-2018, 02:44 PM
 
809 posts, read 893,935 times
Reputation: 991
Quote:
Originally Posted by hitpausebutton2 View Post
Maybe thats it.. IF it was any other regular tech that wanted to visit me, i wouldn't care as we are in same working loser class. In fact the 8 people i work with all live in low end housing or trailers and were close nit family. So we expect to see dirty laundry in the bathroom, or dishes in the sink. We attend to stick to our "kind". But him asking to visit just throws me off and didnt want to be rude and say no, "stick with your kind".
.. I'm as self deprecating as anyone with a dark sense of humor - but man for someone asking for this type of advice and biting back like this after getting some good direction .. Not to be overly critical but you gotta sit down and take these projection observations to heart.

Drink a beer, take a shot, smoke a doobie, do a dab, whatever it takes for some introspection, I recommend it
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