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Old 04-28-2019, 06:08 AM
 
25,710 posts, read 28,088,293 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
Iíve considered that too. Food expenses are the main thing I overspend onóif I could improve my self-discipline and do what I know I need to do to eat responsibly, I could easily save $500 a month or more. Instead, I either spend everything (if I binge a lot that month), or I only save about $100 (if I exercise a little more self-control). I liken it to a drug-addict knowing the drugs are killing them and they want to stop, but they keep coming back to the drugs. Iím like that with food..
I really hope you get some help with that because it's going to ruin your life if you don't. I had a friend who went to Overeater's Anonymous when she was 34 and it really helped her sooooooooooooooo much. I hope you don't wait that long.
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Old 04-28-2019, 09:38 AM
 
1,415 posts, read 317,515 times
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Originally Posted by keraT View Post
If someone is making low low 6figure in their 20s, that person is AMAZING at their job.
Essentially all newly minted engineers with zero work experience are hired in at salaries north of $100,000 all the time in Silicon Valley. Heck, many administrative assistants earn nearly $100,000 per year. Of course, it is a HCOL area.
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Old 04-28-2019, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Shreveport, LA
1,245 posts, read 947,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
I really hope you get some help with that because it's going to ruin your life if you don't. I had a friend who went to Overeater's Anonymous when she was 34 and it really helped her sooooooooooooooo much. I hope you don't wait that long.
Is that a religious thing? I spent all of my childhood and a good chunk of my adolescence in a fundamentalist doomsday cult and spent a lot of time isolated from the outside world. I've been out 6 years and I still feel a sense of culture shock with mainstream American culture, but I'm now an atheist and find religious themes uncomfortable.

The closest thing to a "higher power" I believe in is entropy, which will mindlessly destroy anything anybody has ever worked for or accomplished. It will be like none of us were ever here. All the more reason to live life up now rather than later, I guess, and I'm sick of feeling so sick all the time from food and wasting so much money on food.
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Old 04-28-2019, 03:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
Is that a religious thing?
No, it's a 12 step program like AA. I do think they acknowledge needing the help of a generic higher power, but otherwise, no religious dogma.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
I spent all of my childhood and a good chunk of my adolescence in a fundamentalist doomsday cult and spent a lot of time isolated from the outside world. I've been out 6 years and I still feel a sense of culture shock with mainstream American culture, but I'm now an atheist and find religious themes uncomfortable.
I think we're getting more to the root of what happened here. You've been traumatized. You won't fix any of your problems (weight, money issues, career issues) until you heal the trauma.

The problem with trauma is it usually causes us to overreact--to throw the baby out with the proverbial bathwater. Because you were traumatized by a religious cult, you've now become an atheist. It's understandable, but you've gone from one unhealthy extreme to another.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
The closest thing to a "higher power" I believe in is entropy, which will mindlessly destroy anything anybody has ever worked for or accomplished. It will be like none of us were ever here. All the more reason to live life up now rather than later, I guess
That's a very nihilistic outlook on life and I don't think it will serve you well. It's understandable how you got to that place, but you'll need to understand this isn't an outlook for sustained happiness or well being. It's also hedonistic. Hedonism does not lead to happiness either. Any psychologist will tell you that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
and I'm sick of feeling so sick all the time from food and wasting so much money on food.
Then maybe spend some of that money on therapy or a 12 step program instead (or both). In some way or other, you'll need to move out of your comfort zone, or your life situation will get worse.

I also like the book The How of Happiness by psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky. She presents a menu of about 12 things scientifically shown to boost happiness long term. She recommends picking 3 or 4 things from the menu and doing them consistently.

I don't know if you've read Jordan Peterson's book 12 Rules for Life or watched any of his YouTube videos, but I think they may also prove helpful.

Last edited by mysticaltyger; 04-28-2019 at 04:04 PM..
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Old 04-28-2019, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Shreveport, LA
1,245 posts, read 947,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mysticaltyger View Post
No, it's a 12 step program like AA. I do think they acknowledge needing the help of a generic higher power, but otherwise, no religious dogma.



I think we're getting more to the root of what happened here. You've been traumatized. You won't fix any of your problems (weight, money issues, career issues) until you heal the trauma.

The problem with trauma is it usually causes us to overreact--to throw the baby out with the proverbial bathwater. Because you were traumatized by a religious cult, you've now become an atheist. It's understandable, but you've gone from one unhealthy extreme to another.



That's a very nihilistic outlook on life and I don't think it will serve you well. It's understandable how you got to that place, but you'll need to understand this isn't an outlook for sustained happiness or well being. It's also hedonistic. Hedonism does not lead to happiness either. Any psychologist will tell you that.



Then maybe spend some of that money on therapy or a 12 step program instead (or both). In some way or other, you'll need to move out of your comfort zone, or your life situation will get worse.

I also like the book The How of Happiness by psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky. She presents a menu of about 12 things scientifically shown to boost happiness long term. She recommends picking 3 or 4 things from the menu and doing them consistently.

I don't know if you've read Jordan Peterson's book 12 Rules for Life or watched any of his YouTube videos, but I think they may also prove helpful.
I havenít tried that particular book yet, so I might as well look at it.
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Old 04-29-2019, 09:48 AM
 
25,710 posts, read 28,088,293 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
I havenít tried that particular book yet, so I might as well look at it.
Well both of those books are 'doing' books. They will challenge you out of your comfort zone. But I think they'll help.
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Old 04-29-2019, 12:45 PM
 
2,559 posts, read 1,648,031 times
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Yes, I too would like to follow in her footsteps and be a multimillionaire after 7 years of working.

I’ll just have to go back to school and get rerecruited. Although, I’m sure investment banking doesn’t take us loser CPAs

Last edited by Thatsright19; 04-29-2019 at 12:53 PM..
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Old 04-30-2019, 03:13 AM
 
5,607 posts, read 8,467,686 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magic Qwan View Post
I just need to get a masters or doctorate in the right field. Iím good at school.

My main goal is working less so I can have more personal freedom.
Doesn't sound like someone who is willing to follow her path, so let me make a different suggestion:


Find a career that allows "enough money" and time.

I was medically retired from the Marine Corps and went back to get my degree and worked several jobs in and out of my degree field.

Then I fell into being a freelance insurance adjuster.

Before my service connected injuries worsened I was working 6months a year, and making nearly 6 figures per year.

You'll need to be able to have the discipline to 'make yourself work' and regulate yourself though.

Look into it, there 's many "odd nitches" that allow you to be "partially retired" when your still going enough to enjoy it, and have enough money to do on.
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Old 04-30-2019, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Shreveport, LA
1,245 posts, read 947,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Themanwithnoname View Post
Doesn't sound like someone who is willing to follow her path, so let me make a different suggestion:


Find a career that allows "enough money" and time.

I was medically retired from the Marine Corps and went back to get my degree and worked several jobs in and out of my degree field.

Then I fell into being a freelance insurance adjuster.

Before my service connected injuries worsened I was working 6months a year, and making nearly 6 figures per year.

You'll need to be able to have the discipline to 'make yourself work' and regulate yourself though.

Look into it, there 's many "odd nitches" that allow you to be "partially retired" when your still going enough to enjoy it, and have enough money to do on.
Only working 6 months a year and getting almost 6 figures a year is pretty good. With that kind of money, my first order of business would be paying off the remainder of my debt (mortgage and car debt), then Iíd get wavefront lasik, then Iíd invest from that point on so I could eventually fully retire. I live fine on 50k a year, I just want out of the spotlight and more free time to just do what I wantólike travel and trying new hobbies.
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Old 05-03-2019, 12:12 PM
 
1,715 posts, read 683,601 times
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Make more money and spend less. Obviously!! Only if you're lucky enough to work in a high-paying job and resist the urge to spend more due to having more.
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