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They didn't teach it at any school I attended. The adults in my life didn't discuss such things. It was an "adult matter" they said.
The adults in your life failed you. It has happened a lot.
The more harsh truth in far too many instances: their first failure was poor attention to contraception.
I'm always amazed at the callousness of people here.
One bad diagnosis, accident, sick child, extended joblessness, a toxic family member, or any number of situations could put any of us under.
I'm not sure it's callousness, it's entirely possible someone discussing this article dares to point out or questions lifestyle issues doesn't lack sympathy. This is an economics discussion forum, it's not taboo to actually discuss things related to economics because there is a human being involved who is in an unfortunate situation.
I believe you're entirely correct on second point, there are likely some folks commenting who would be in a similarly difficult financial situation if faced with an severe unexpected hit.
We live in a culture of "live once, live to the most", with zero money management and savings idea, taught to young people for generations. Good for businesses, bad for making it work, when SHTF. Why are you even surprised? Living by debt was norm for how long? Even very smart minds simply can't fathom debtless life anymore.
At some point as people get older, they realize (hopefully) that SOMEONE is going to pick up the tab for other people's irresponsible choices with money. When you spend your whole life playing by the rules, working hard, saving for the inevitable rainy day and you see someone like this, you can call it callous to get irritated about paying THEIR share, too. But most people are actually paying the tab do.
These extremes exist, but are not the norm. We should recognize that there's a very small number of people who are completely careless in regards to their finances.
That being said, this particular person is a victim of physical abuse and is going through a divorce as a result.
the media does a great job of "finding the story", that is the sad tales of folks in rare cases who are facing real hardship, some of which can't always be easily planned for. You notice they don't ask her much about prior earnings, where the child support is, typ of car/when purchased, etc.
the media does a great job of "finding the story", that is the sad tales of folks in rare cases who are facing real hardship, some of which can't always be easily planned for. You notice they don't ask her much about prior earnings, where the child support is, typ of car/when purchased, etc.
The Dallas Morning News ran a sob peice about the working poor a few years ago - focusing on for or five families.
Every family featured demonstrated exceptionally dumb decisions. The one that sticks out - a guy drove a newer full sized pickup on a long daily commute. I don't recall the details but this guy's choice of auto was significantly responsible for his family's difficulty.
Also a woman had attended but dropped out of community college, beauty school, and IIRC a real estate academy............racking up debt every step of the way.
Debt can be good or bad for you. I have a mortgage. And I’m very far from loser status. I have 4 vehicles. No payment they all run absolutely great. Sure they aren’t new but they look new. My personal income isn’t has high as some, but I actually have more money overall because I’m not using most of my income to service debt.....which means in the end I have more money. Simply because we choose what we carry debt when we incur it. My debt servicing is a small part of my total income. Simply because I don’t overextend myself.
Mortgage debt ok. On one house. My house payment is lower than some two bedroom apartment rents. And I own the house.
Credit card debt? Sure I carry cc debt for the month. When the bill comes it gets paid in full. The reason is because (and I had this happen a few times) if someone gets a hold of my cc no big deal I call dispute the fees and I’m done. I dont need to fight with the bank and wait till they put my miney back of o ATM and SLE oe fraudulently charged through y ATM.
Vehicle debt...no..I buy a car that’s a few years old (IF I actually need a new car which means when my old car is simply incapable to do the job I need it to do) and drive that for 10/12+ years. For example right now my wife’s mobility is getting worse so we’re looking at a minivan. It’s gonna be a 2-3 year old low mile one. Something off a lease. I’m not buying new. No reason to. A 2-3 year old one ca be had very reasonably priced all day long. Nobody wants minivans they all want SUVs.
I'm not sure it's callousness, it's entirely possible someone discussing this article dares to point out or questions lifestyle issues doesn't lack sympathy. This is an economics discussion forum, it's not taboo to actually discuss things related to economics because there is a human being involved who is in an unfortunate situation.
I believe you're entirely correct on second point, there are likely some folks commenting who would be in a similarly difficult financial situation if faced with an severe unexpected hit.
So many posters are all "She made bad decisions!" about the woman in the article. Her main problems are the abusive husband who flew the coop in January, and the autistic kid that she can't leave alone which forecloses on her ability to even apply for regular jobs. She didn't "choose" that. If it was just herself, there would be no problem. Indeed, I often point out that poor people are rarely all of these 3 at one time - 1) single, 2) physically and mentally healthy, 3) free of family burdens. A single healthy person with no attachments may not be rich, but it's easy enough for that person to not be poor.
We all can criticize single mothers for having sex with people who end up being untrustworthy, but there are no guarantees in life that someone you have a kid with will always be dependable.
I know women whose previously dependable partners/husbands just upped and left one day. Or they became undependable over time, e.g.: developed drug and alcohol problems. There's no guarantee someone won't do that to you, even when they seem, at a given moment in time, to have everything together.
Speaking for myself, when my dad was young, he was the spitting image of a strapping successful man with a successful business and came from a family with property and a long history of being leaders in the community. And it was good. For a time.
My mom could not have predicted that 20 years in the future, when my dad got sick in his 50s, he would lose his s***. Not only was he not able to work, and his health insurance fail to pay out on claims, but he started to handle things illogically, made bad decisions with what money was left because when you're in distress and think you're going to die the next day, you don't think straight. Not to mention the cocktail of prescription drugs he was on messing with his mind, and what I think was a prescription drug addiction that he wouldn't admit.
A huge chunk of my mom's retirement savings went to his medical bills, debts, taking care of him when he basically became a shut-in, and dealing with the aftermath of his business collapsing. Which happened at exactly the wrong time in her savings arc... when you're in your 50s and need to be saving more than ever. Things were bad until he died. She has enough to survive now, but not nearly what could have been. And that's a relatively moderate problem given what people can go through, since my folks were fairly well off and had a lot of cushion to lose.
Health is everything. Mental and physical. Not only yourself but those in your immediate orbit you are co-dependent with. Without it you have nothing. The woman in the OP article has an autistic kid and an abusive, absent father - they are not a healthy family.
Last edited by redguard57; 09-08-2020 at 04:43 PM..
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