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If you discuss it and she knows the finances you do not need to tell her - she already knows, lol!
She knows my finances, but I do not tell her I depend upon her. Just like I would think it pompous to tell her that she needs me to keep our household going, I don't like to tell her I am unable to fend for myself if she was not earning an income.
She knows my finances, but I do not tell her I depend upon her. Just like I would think it pompous to tell her that she needs me to keep our household going, I don't like to tell her I am unable to fend for myself if she was not earning an income.
At this point, you don't really ahve to say anything to her about it. However, if she did want to stay home, you would have to tell her that you (as a couple) could not afford it; and that you need her income.
My whole philosophy is centered around living as minimally as possible and having a very high savings rate.
At first I wanted to buy a home (ie. 3bed/2bath) but now i am just going to go for a studio or 1bedroom. Whichever is cheaper. It is well worth it not having a mortgage payment!
I could get a roommate etc but there is always sacrifices you have to make. For example, you can't have anything very valuable in the home because of getting a potential thief as a roommate. Likewise there are other sacrifices you have to make such as privacy and who you can bring over. Is it worth the cost? IMO, no.
There is more than one way to skin a cat and the way you did it/doing it is fine. IMO you can make some sacrifices when you are young such as getting a roommate and giving up some privacy for X amount of time and put yourself in a position to where you no longer need that roommate/financial help and now that you are more financially stable you have EARNED the right to live alone. You can earn that right many different ways, such as having a roommate, getting a degree, working your way up at your job, etc. There are many ways.
What bothers me is those who need help financially and instead of "doing what it takes" (Getting a roommate, getting a cheaper place, etc.) they would rather complain about how hard it is out there. We call these people "Save me Feed me's". They create their own demons and don't even know it.
If anyone is looking for a good read on how to sacrifice and make something of yourself.. check out Scratch Beginnings by Adam Shepard. Awesome book to read. Will open your eyes to some things and what it takes to make it from scratch.
If you want to continue to whine and complain all the time, you will enjoy the book Nickel & Dimed which is about a lady who writes about how hard it is out there.. yet she never did what it takes to make it in the first place. This book is much more popular than scratch beginnings because people would rather make excuses in life.
We live on one income, I stay at home now with our kids but even before that we always lived on one income. You should read "the Two Income Trap" excellent book.
I made a conscious decision to be able to live ON MY OWN income....rather than including someone else. I guess it is a matter of deciding if you want MORE that requires sharing space or being willing to have LESS and getting all your space to yourself. It's a personal decision based on personality.
A better question would be.. how many people are struggling out there and not getting a roommate?
The lady who wrote the book "Nickel & Dimed" never had one and she struggled. IMO she struggled more because of her poor decisions.
What poor decisions are you talking about?
She was a journalist who decided to try to live on the salary of a Merry Maid, Walmart employee, and Diner employee. She was not successful.
To the OP, good topic.
As a stay at home mother, I definitely hear from people who love to look down on me because I am financially dependent on my husband.
I have tried to point out that many married people, if both of them are working, are also financially dependent on each other to maintain their lifestyle. Working does not make you independent, maybe less dependent, but not independent.
I have lived alone since age 23,including buying the smallest condo known to real estate man.
My current house(dream house plus)has one bedroom and a big loft with its own bath. I thought of having the loft closed in to make a real second bedroom for a roommate, but just couldn't stand the thought. Living with others makes me feel like I'm camping.
I have had long-term guests, and it was OK except for the acoustics, which amplified every sound from upstairs.
I would consider a roommate if my father moved in with me or if a friend fell on hard times.
A better question would be.. how many people are struggling out there and not getting a roommate?
The lady who wrote the book "Nickel & Dimed" never had one and she struggled. IMO she struggled more because of her poor decisions.
Man, my baby has been living here rent free! such a freeloader!
We were ok with one income until this whole economic fiasco and my wages were cut substantially. Before, we would apply my wife's extra income towards extra payments or into savings... but now we're definitely dependent on each other's incomes and don't have room for savings.
I'm thankful that we're both still employed, but who knows how much further things will slow down and contract and if we'll be laid off or have additional pay cuts.
With the effect of the growing unemployed not hitting the market yet, I'm sure there is a lot of room for additional foreclosures and other defaults that would compound the problem of the Alt-A, Option ARM wave.
So, who knows... worse case scenario, we might have to contribute to the mess... but hopefully we can hold on and avoid that situation.
I think families need to live on 1 income.If the partner works that money needs to be saved.If it takes two incomes to pay the mortgage and two car payments what happens if one partner gets sick and cannot work anymore.
The stress of knowing that it takes two is a bad omen.
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