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I feel sorry for kids who have parents who want them to be "super child", this one little girl, she was in violin lessons before school, had piano, dance, ballet, gymnastics, math lab, ice skating every day another class after school, with practice for all of those things...she was in 4th grade, and I felt like she needed valium she seemed so stressed all the time. Brittle, and high anxiety. She would cry if she did not get an "A" on all assignments. Her Mother had her life all mapped out for her...
One alternate emphasis would be to identify children who excel in different areas, largely defined and/or to identify the gifts of each child. (My grandfather was a fairly well known ph.d. in this area).
To try to make our children superior, what does this mean? (At my child's school it would be reading and math groups, not much else). What about athletic, artistic, scientific, psychological, etc., skills and creativity?
When the specrum is broadened, many other children can be identified as gifted.
I don't know a single kid who had assigned reading at age 4. Most kids I know are permitted to play with computer games and watch tv. They are not limited to only educationally elite activities. They are permitted to do lowbrow activities like watch tv and play video games.
Keeping your kids tied into only educational activities, and not letting them participate in technologically oriented fun will not make them into one of these superior kids.
Momma_bear,
By "assigned reading" I mean short selected texts from a phonics book that I use to teach him how to read. I certainly don't spend hours doing that, he doesn't mind it at all, and it has helped him quite a lot. One thing I know is that when he starts K, whatever is done there, academically speaking, will be a breeze for him. Mission accomplished so far.
I have not pushed anywhere beyond what he is comfortable with but I have provided ample opportunity. We do lots of "reading and bonding" time with books of his own choice, just like all other parents do - but that is a completely different story. It is just pure fun.
As for playing computer games and watching TV, if you are trying to tell me that a child who just doesn't do that is "deprived" of a "normal childhood", I will choose not to take you seriously.
In our house, we simply don't buy or use video games. It is as simple as that. Likewise, in our house the TV is simply not on during the week - we reserve that for week-ends when we put on a nice movie in the morning.
As parents, we deem that they can find tons of other things to do during the week - all of their own choice. Video-games and TV-during-the-week are just not part of the repertoire of choices.
They are allowed to play with whatever toys in the house they choose, they have crafts available, they have tons of books, paper and pencils lying around...and they are continuously encouraged to go outside and do whatever their hearts desire. We travel, we go places together, we get together with good friends who have kids their age, etc. The only thing they do not have - and which I consider part of a truly normal childhood - is a neighborhood where children step outside spontaneously and play together; but we can certainly not control that.
They are doing fine with the activities they have available to them and we never have power struggles over TV time or video-game time.
I feel sorry for kids who have parents who want them to be "super child", this one little girl, she was in violin lessons before school, had piano, dance, ballet, gymnastics, math lab, ice skating every day another class after school, with practice for all of those things...she was in 4th grade, and I felt like she needed valium she seemed so stressed all the time. Brittle, and high anxiety. She would cry if she did not get an "A" on all assignments. Her Mother had her life all mapped out for her...
Yes. THAT would be the wrong way of doing things. Lots of organized activities, stress galore, and running around like a chicken with the head cut-off - but nothing done well. Recreation and time for reflection (time to twiddle your thumbs) are also what goes into the making of a so-called "superior child", to use the OP's language.
Some people truly don't understand the right way to get to the desired goal; but they do know they want "that goal". In my previous post, I had simply provided an explanation as to why so many parents shoot for that goal - as this is what the OP asked. That some of them go for it the completely wrong way is the topic of another discussion.
Finally, watching TV and doing video-games don't qualify as "time to twiddle your thumbs" or "recreation" as far as I am concerned. I'd rather see my kids literally TWIDDLING THEIR THUMBS for a little while every day than see them get mesmerized by electronic mazes that actually increase fatigue, stress, reduce concentration ability and ultimately add zero to a child's quality of life.
The funny/sad/ironic thing is that the great jobs of the future will be all about being creative problem solvers and innovators....not number crunchers or spelling memorizers. How do you get to be a creative problem solver/innovator? By just staring at clouds and not being afraid to try new things....how many GT classes stress that??
By "assigned reading" I mean short selected texts from a phonics book that I use to teach him how to read. I certainly don't spend hours doing that, he doesn't mind it at all, and it has helped him quite a lot. One thing I know is that when he starts K, whatever is done there, academically speaking, will be a breeze for him. Mission accomplished so far.
I have not pushed anywhere beyond what he is comfortable with but I have provided ample opportunity. We do lots of "reading and bonding" time with books of his own choice, just like all other parents do - but that is a completely different story. It is just pure fun.
None of it will help him be "super acheiver". It will just ensure that he is terribly bored when the rest of the learn to read. Lots of kids enter K reading but they are not necessarily the best readers when it really counts (high school/college).
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa
As for playing computer games and watching TV, if you are trying to tell me that a child who just doesn't do that is "deprived" of a "normal childhood", I will choose not to take you seriously.
So when he starts school will he be forbidden to play video games at other people's houses? If so, he will have no friends. Keeping TV and video games from him will not make him "super boy". There are plenty of really really good students who play video games and watch tv.
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa
As parents, we deem that they can find tons of other things to do during the week - all of their own choice. Video-games and TV-during-the-week are just not part of the repertoire of choices.
They are allowed to play with whatever toys in the house they choose, they have crafts available, they have tons of books, paper and pencils lying around...and they are continuously encouraged to go outside and do whatever their hearts desire. We travel, we go places together, we get together with good friends who have kids their age, etc. The only thing they do not have - and which I consider part of a truly normal childhood - is a neighborhood where children step outside spontaneously and play together; but we can certainly not control that.
They are doing fine with the activities they have available to them and we never have power struggles over TV time or video-game time.
It works for us. It works for them.
You can do whatever you want but none of it will make your kids "super kids". I am not saying you should not make rules that work for your family, simply that having a bunch of elitist rules will not necessarily make your kids "better" than other.
The funny/sad/ironic thing is that the great jobs of the future will be all about being creative problem solvers and innovators....not number crunchers or spelling memorizers. How do you get to be a creative problem solver/innovator? By just staring at clouds and not being afraid to try new things....
Certainly not by watching TV shows and video games in your spare time.
If you show me one study suggesting that those activities improve creativity and problem solving skills, you might just reform me!
Staring at the clouds is surely a better way to become creative than staring at an electronic screen where someone else already did the creativity for you.
I am not saying you should not make rules that work for your family, simply that having a bunch of elitist rules will not
necessarily make your kids "better" than other.
Not necessarily, indeed. But I will keep my rules, if you don't mind.
You are right, they do work for us.
You keep using the words "elitist rules". Depending on how you look at it, there is hardly anything "elitist" about crafts, pencil, paper and a yard to play in. They're also very cheap.
I simply keep the rules that worked for generations before, those I believe in. Just because masses of people today hop on a certain bandwagon doesn't mean that everyone should hop on there too for fear of not being called an "elitist".
Finally, to answer your Q, my kids will certainly be free to play a video game when they go to a friend's house. We just don't buy those in ours. Granted they will spend most of their time in our house and not in someone else's, that should not become a habit. So far we have been lucky in that all friends my son has come from families with values very similar to ours. No video game in sight. I am aware this might change in the future but we will do our best to guide him towards children raised similarly with him. Funnily enough, he seems to be drawn towards those kind of children and not towards the "video-game" types.
After all, a child doesn't need MANY friends. He needs a few good ones.
The funny/sad/ironic thing is that the great jobs of the future will be all about being creative problem solvers and innovators....not number crunchers or spelling memorizers. How do you get to be a creative problem solver/innovator? By just staring at clouds and not being afraid to try new things....how many GT classes stress that??
A lot of the GATE programs out here focus heavily on creativity and problem solving.
Not necessarily, indeed. But I will keep my rules, if you don't mind.
You are right, they do work for us.
You keep using the words "elitist rules". Depending on how you look at it, there is hardly anything "elitist" about crafts, pencil, paper and a yard to play in. They're also very cheap.
I simply keep the rules that worked for generations before, those I believe in. Just because masses of people today hop on a certain bandwagon doesn't mean that everyone should hop on there too for fear of not being called an "elitist".
Finally, to answer your Q, my kids will certainly be free to play a video game when they go to a friend's house. We just don't buy those in ours. Granted they will spend most of their time in our house and not in someone else's, that should not become a habit. So far we have been lucky in that all friends my son has come from families with values very similar to ours. No video game in sight. I am aware this might change in the future but we will do our best to guide him towards children raised similarly with him. Funnily enough, he seems to be drawn towards those kind of children and not towards the "video-game" types.
After all, a child doesn't need MANY friends. He needs a few good ones.
The point is not that your rules are bad, just that they will not necessarily produce what you are seeking, the superior child. My oldest son's friend are the "superior" type you seek. Very high grades, seeking admission to elite universities, etc...and plenty of them are the "video-game" types.
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