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One of the best points I have read in a while on City-Data.
In the US, there seems to be such an enormous amount of confusion about the mindset of various class groups, that sometimes arguments really seem to slide too much on the naive side. Americans tend to mistake the middle-upper classes (and sometimes even the plain middle class) for the "uppers". As for the true upper classes, many are not even aware that those exist because they are rarely in the public eye.
The true upper class mindset values exactly what user-Id said: relationships and life experiences. They are cozy, low-key, non-flamboyant, relaxed and accommodating and they couldn't care less about "BEST SCHOOLS". That's because they can afford this mindset: not only financially, but also mentally.
They care about inaccessible, super-elite schools where the right marriage ties can be established. They do not look to "gift" the world with awesome human resources. They simply seek to maintain their cross-generational privileges in all of their glorious laid-back-ness.
Few people though understand that a true upper class mindset cannot be made. You're born into it. Some of us will change our income bracket, some of us will DRAMATICALLY change our income bracket - but that will not make us upper class. Not in the mind. We remain "market people" and even when we don't need to be in the market anymore, its related anxieties can still follow us.
The vast majority of middle to upper-middle class parents will simply NOT afford to nonchalantly shrug about the school district their kids go to. It is as simple as that. Knowing I was doomed to the market, I would never try to pretend to be someone I am not; and while relationships and life experiences remain a top priority for our family, we also know that we can't exactly ignore that little thing called "the free market".
So good-to-very-good school district it is.
syracusa,
Yes I agree with your and user_id and of course it is more of side commentary to the main topic but illustrates judgement within this upper middle class group.
One of the most interesting things that I have seen is the complete collapse of Generation Y folks or folks that are in my age range (mid to late 30s).
I cant tell you how many people that I have known that were raised with upper middle values that have failed to prove themselves in the real world in regards to their inability to make sound decisions. This inability to adjust to a lifestyle which may actually be closer to their earned income and net worth for the sake of continuing the upper middle lifestyle was sad.
I was raised where the financial aspect is almost secondary to the core values. But I think there are two sides in my generation that were raised in the upper middle.
Those that 'think' they are entitled to a certain way of life because their parents raised them this way and then the other half which is more laid back (as you said) and tend to me more conservative in their views (in other words valuing preservation).
Upper middles that I have seen fail in life was because they were not raised to make good decisions. This of course is one the reasons I was curious to hear how people would respond to the thread.
How do you know "lots of money thrown at real estate+best school districts= success in life" for a child. No one knows until the child is an adult, but of course with a broad paint brush, we got lots of different replies.
I have seen that model fail especially for the upper middles that thought they could wing it by being fake real estate investors with other peoples money. Best schools, expesnive cars and homes. I thought they really had it down but ultimately were fooling themselves when they thought they were indispensable at their job or simply too more out than they could afford. Now the kicker is, they still have the taste of Champagne but on a bud light budget. Its not so much that they dont have experience in quality, its their failure to manage their lives.
When I heard friends of mine telling me to get on the bandwagon I laughed at them because they were playing with fire. Now they are so far in debt, credit ruined and will never stand on their own two feet. Ne best school districts for them. Friends and experiences only go so far in the upper middle and when tragedy happens, its more viewed as unfortunate rather than trying to help someone.
As a matter of fact I have a great friend since childhood that is a SVP at a very large investment bank in NYC. Georgetown masters degrees and all the right connections. The amount of debt she has is incredible, however the circles she is in, she feels that the purchases and overextending are justified for the lifestyle. She just had a baby and will never see it because she works 16-18 hours a day saving the world so a company can make more money. I really wish she put her mind to good use because I am sure she would have cured cancer or something. But again this has to do with her upbringing and maintaining the status quo
For me, thats way too risky, but to each their own. I look forward to retiring early rather than constantly having to pay for a lifestyle. Two different trains of thought.
Last edited by shmoov_groovzsd; 07-29-2011 at 01:10 PM..
Parents just want to drop their kids off at the best "babysitting" school, so they can go off and work to supply the funding for their narcissistic lifestyles.
Parents just want to drop their kids off at the best "babysitting" school, so they can go off and work to supply the funding for their narcissistic lifestyles.
Oh, come on! For one thing, school attendance is compulsory, up to a certain age. For another, most parents are working very hard and want the best for their kids, at least in their own definition.
Oh, come on! For one thing, school attendance is compulsory, up to a certain age. For another, most parents are working very hard and want the best for their kids, at least in their own definition.
Come on what?
I am a high school teacher. Out of four classes only THREE sets of parents came to visit me during parent-teacher conferences to talk about their kids' education. Parents are NOT involved at the high school level. Hence, they don't give a damn.
You just made my point - parents are both working hard to support their narcissistic lifestyles.
I am a high school teacher. Out of four classes only THREE sets of parents came to visit me during parent-teacher conferences to talk about their kids' education. Parents are NOT involved at the high school level. Hence, they don't give a damn.
You just made my point - parents are both working hard to support their narcissistic lifestyles.
I am so glad my kids are out of school. The contempt the teachers on this forum show for parents is incredible. You twisted my words. Most parents are working to keep a roof over their heads and clothes on their backs.
I am so glad my kids are out of school. The contempt the teachers on this forum show for parents is incredible. You twisted my words. Most parents are working to keep a roof over their heads and clothes on their backs.
And you think teachers aren't as well? I'm sorry, but when I see kids with an iPhone 4, iPod touch, iPad, or a MacBook in class, and they can't afford school supplies, something is grossly wrong with this picture IMO.
Contempt... Yes. Let's talk contempt. Contempt for teachers to be exact. Contempt for us when we work our asses off to educate your kids. Contempt for us when we ask you to be involved in your kids' education. Contempt for us when we ask for a decent living salary. Contempt for us when we ask for classroom supplies, so we don't have to buy them out of our bloody personal funds. Contempt for us regarding education in general.
And you think teachers aren't as well? I'm sorry, but when I see kids with an iPhone 4, iPod touch, iPad, or a MacBook in class, and they can't afford school supplies, something is grossly wrong with this picture IMO.
Contempt... Yes. Let's talk contempt. Contempt for teachers to be exact. Contempt that we work our asses off to educate your kids. Contempt that we ask you to be involved in your kids' education. Contempt that we ask for a decent living salary. Contempt that we ask for classroom supplies, so we don't have to buy them out of our bloody personal funds. Contempt regarding education in general. I can go on all day. Care to dance?
Excuse me? I did not say that teachers are not working hard. The rest of your post is off topic entirely, has nothing to do with parents' obsession with the "best" school district.
There are plenty of parent-bashing threads on this forum, should you wish to resurrect one.
Excuse me? I did not say that teachers are not working hard. The rest of your post is off topic entirely, has nothing to do with parents' obsession with the "best" school district.
There are plenty of parent-bashing threads on this forum, should you wish to resurrect one.
Get off your high horse. You are not special just because you had kids.
I'd love to have children, but after working with 120+ high school teenagers every day for over four years I kind of decided I did not want to have children. It makes it real easy too when your wife doesn't want to have children either, because she works with special education kids every day. It drains her emotionally.
Plus I have three nieces and one nephew that we are close to. We tutor them as needed. Their parents could not give a damn about their education though.
Last edited by A Flock Of Budgies; 07-30-2011 at 01:31 PM..
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I am a high school teacher. Out of four classes only THREE sets of parents came to visit me during parent-teacher conferences to talk about their kids' education. Parents are NOT involved at the high school level. Hence, they don't give a damn.
That says more about the sort of community you are working in than about parents in general....
Personally, I'd never put the education of my children in the hands of a professional babysitter.
That says more about the sort of community you are working in than about parents in general....
Personally, I'd never put the education of my children in the hands of a professional babysitter.
I'm not a professional babysitter, because I don't put up with behavioral issues in my classroom. If you don't behave properly in my classroom you are out. Real simple. I don't like disruptive students that interrupt the learning process that other students are there for.
Also, it is not the sort of community I live and work in. Most parents just don't give a damn at the high school level. I've witnessed it first hand.
Note: You saying that kids are going to be placed with a professional babysitter says all I have to know about what you think about teachers.
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