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I was one of the room moms last year, and we sent home a sheet of paper saying, "I like Mrs. Jones because" and asked the kids to fill it in for her birthday. Most children also sent in a gift, but we didn't request that.
The best gifts are the spontaneous ones. One morning I received two apples from a learning disbled kid for helping him with his work. He snuck into his parents' orchard before the bus came. Another's parents bought me a tie, and I've received mugs, candy and other great gifts from grateful parents and students.
I went to school during the 1960s, and it was the parent's responsibility to provide all the school supplies, buy the books, and pay for any hot lunches provided by the school. If the child wanted to be involved in sports, the parents had to buy the appropriate uniforms and equipment. If the school wanted to raise funds for something that would benefit the school, there would be a bake-sale during the week-end, or a school fair with games and rides. If a teacher wanted to take their class on a field trip, the entire class would participate in raising funds, typically by selling baked goods or going door-to-door selling cupcakes, cookies, or other items.
In short, there was no government involvement, no Department of Education, there were also more teachers than administrators, and the parents paid for everything.
It would be "VERY helpful" for me to send some cash to school so that this friend/teacher could buy the teacher (from the class) with the birthday a gift card to a nice restaurant to dine with "her husband and children" so that she will "know how much we appreciate her".
WHAT?! I just met her a couple days ago!
There seems to be no end to their tactless begging.
"Mommy, don't forget we're buying Mrs. So-and-So a pedicure before she goes on maternity leave! Nathan's mommy said they need the money RIGHT NOW!"
Tell me I'm not alone...
Absolutely, you are not alone.
Begging has become 2nd nature, not just in public schools, but in general
Other than the list of supplies given to you at the beginning of the year, and traditional gift gifting that YOU find appropriate during the course of the year, everything else is over stepping.
My suggestion: copy the letter and send it to the principal with a short memo attached, simply stating:
Gift giving on demand is ill mannered and inappropriate in any learning environment. I try to teach my child proper etiquette and the spirit of gift giving in it's true context.
Then, I would state -
and this is the important part:
There is no reason to bring attention to the teacher/friend that I am the one that has cited this complaint against her/him, as not to embarrass the teacher/friend any further for this kind of behavior.
I would appreciate your confidentiality in this manner.
Sign your name legible and quite large
Believe me, that message will get back to the teacher If not, every teacher on staff.
Now, so your child will not feel left out on that special day
I'd go to the the dollar store IF YOU FEEL
LIKE IT, pick up a ceramic mug and put an apple in it and tie it with a bow and attach a balloon, and write the words:
"Happy Birthday, A Year Wiser" on it and have your child
put it on her desk on Friday.
Setting the trend at the beginning of the school year
is probably the most important thing you can do for
your child and yourself. Don't ever feel intimidated
by your child's teacher and staff. You are not their
subordinate
Do everything with candor and respect and your child will have a wonderful year and you won't become a gift giving patsy.
Location: Currently I physically reside on the 3rd planet from the sun
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lemonlime22
LOVING my kiddos being in school these past two days!
Was surprised to find a letter in my daughter's backpack with an envelope attached with the words "due Friday" on it.
It was a letter from another teacher (and co-worker) announcing my daughter's teacher's birthday. It would be "VERY helpful" for me to send some cash to school so that this friend/teacher could buy the teacher (from the class) with the birthday a gift card to a nice restaurant to dine with "her husband and children" so that she will "know how much we appreciate her".
WHAT?! I just met her a couple days ago! Isn't Christmas, Valentine's Day, Teacher Appreciation Day and and end of school year gift enough? Apparently not.
There seems to be no end to their tactless begging. A couple years ago one of my daughter's teacher's alerted us to her Amazon page. Last year my other daughter's teacher not only sent out a "wish list" (she wanted a director's chair) highlighting favorite colors, stores, and restaurants, but things she DIDN'T like. "No coffee or hand lotion, please".
I don't know if this is done in other regions of the country--most of my friends have older kids. It DOES seem to get worse every year...
If I weren't worried it would come back to bite my kids (you gotta wonder) I would complain to the District. This has really gotten out of hand. And I hate when these 'room moms' get my kids to nag me for the gifts/cash. "Mommy, don't forget we're buying Mrs. So-and-So a pedicure before she goes on maternity leave! Nathan's mommy said they need the money RIGHT NOW!"
And if you're a teacher who thinks I'm an awful mom, too bad. You get paid, you have awesome health benefits, you have a pension plan, a union that will never fire you, you have ALL summer off, Christmas, Spring break, and most postal holidays off! Quit yer bellyachin'!
Tell me I'm not alone...
If any teacher solicited funds from me through my child for personal indulgences such as birthday gifts etc. I would file a formal complaint with the school and district.
I was one of the room moms last year, and we sent home a sheet of paper saying, "I like Mrs. Jones because" and asked the kids to fill it in for her birthday. Most children also sent in a gift, but we didn't request that.
we collected $345 from a class of 20. And I'm pretty sure everyone didn't contribute. We didn't request a certain amount, so parents sent in whatever they were comfortable giving.
I understand not everyone can afford to contribute to things
I think you are confusing ability to contribute with
a standard of appropriate gift giving, regardless of if
it's during the first couple of days of school, or mid term.
I certainly hope that little note, "I like Mrs Jones because..."
wasn't sent at the beginning of the school year either.
Frankly, I don't think it should have been sent at all.
Just my two apples worth
You collected $345 from a class of 20 merely out of guilt.
STOP.
If I knew you personally I'd send you these two books, but since I don't,
I'll just give you the titles and you can pick them up at the library yourself.
Giving Thanks: The Gifts of Gratitude by M.J. Ryan
Priceless Gifts: How to Give the Best to Those You Love
by Daniel Sugarman
I think you are confusing ability to contribute with
a standard of appropriate gift giving, regardless of if
it's during the first couple of days of school, or mid term.
I certainly hope that little note, "I like Mrs Jones because..."
wasn't sent at the beginning of the school year either.
Frankly, I don't think it should have been sent at all.
Just my two apples worth
You collected $345 from a class of 20 merely out of guilt.
STOP.
If I knew you personally I'd send you these two books, but since I don't,
I'll just give you the titles and you can pick them up at the library yourself.
Giving Thanks: The Gifts of Gratitude by M.J. Ryan
Priceless Gifts: How to Give the Best to Those You Love
by Daniel Sugarman
Enjoy the read
LOL- the teacher's birthday was in March. We sent home a paper to let the kids write her a note if they chose. Completely free, we even provided the paper.
And we didn't "guilt" anyone for an gift. We sent an e-mail letting parents know we were collecting for an end of the year gift if they would like to contribute. Compleletly voluntary- no suggested amount, no pressure to give. We got checks ranging from $5-$30. I gave $20, because that's what I always give to class gifts. The checks were sent to me, and I honestly have no idea how many or who contributed because I wasn't keeping a list. It was voluntary. We got so much money because the teacher was wonderful and the parents truly appreciated her.
My kids buy a special book for their teachers every year for our family end of the year present. And then write them a note inside thanking them.
My opinion is this: the teachers are in the same demonizing process the manufacturing workers were in in this country. It's all propaganda. First we have to make it as though the workers are nothing but lazy, greedy, bums that do not deserve to make as much money as they do. Once the general public can be brainwashed into believing the workers, the teachers, (anyone in a union with job protection) is worthless then the process of replacing can happen. Either new hires at less wages, less benefits or the job is shipped overseas. Ads go out for teacher positions while the school administration is clamoring they are being cut and they are losing teachers. Out with the old, in with the new I guess.
Workers now desperate, work for less, less benefits, bigger classrooms. Should they complain they would probably not have a job. And before anyone jumps on how "bad" the unions are let me be clear...the unions were originally formed to protect workers because they needed protection. Why? Because they were working in environments that were so hazardous they were dying by the day. Have the current unions become corrupt? Yeah. Does that mean they have to be that way? No. Will the business hiring the worker ever have the best interest of the worker first and foremost? I'm thinking not. This country continues to devalue the worker. The OP was out of the ordinary. Teachers deserve some praise for the thankless job they have. (and that isn't to say there isn't a crappy teacher every now and then but the good outweigh the bad)
Why oh why does this country seem to think the real workers shouldn't be paid a living wage??? I say if we cut...let's cut the bloat from the top, not the bottom!
My opinion is this: the teachers are in the same demonizing process the manufacturing workers were in in this country. It's all propaganda. First we have to make it as though the workers are nothing but lazy, greedy, bums that do not deserve to make as much money as they do. Once the general public can be brainwashed into believing the workers, the teachers, (anyone in a union with job protection) is worthless then the process of replacing can happen. Either new hires at less wages, less benefits or the job is shipped overseas. Ads go out for teacher positions while the school administration is clamoring they are being cut and they are losing teachers. Out with the old, in with the new I guess.
Workers now desperate, work for less, less benefits, bigger classrooms. Should they complain they would probably not have a job. And before anyone jumps on how "bad" the unions are let me be clear...the unions were originally formed to protect workers because they needed protection. Why? Because they were working in environments that were so hazardous they were dying by the day. Have the current unions become corrupt? Yeah. Does that mean they have to be that way? No. Will the business hiring the worker ever have the best interest of the worker first and foremost? I'm thinking not. This country continues to devalue the worker. The OP was out of the ordinary. Teachers deserve some praise for the thankless job they have. (and that isn't to say there isn't a crappy teacher every now and then but the good outweigh the bad)
Why oh why does this country seem to think the real workers shouldn't be paid a living wage??? I say if we cut...let's cut the bloat from the top, not the bottom!
Good post. It's amazing how people say that because of some unions' behavior, that unionization is inherently bad. I'm not happy with everything the NEA does, but after teaching in a non union state for two years--and moving to a union one--I've gained new appreciation for the good things that unions can do. I'll probably remain a teacher now because I can afford to be one in the midwest. In North Carolina I was planning to switch careers because I couldn't do as well financially.
As I read this thread I am left wondering why any reasonably intelligent and well qualified person would want to be a teacher
Because it is one of the easiest degrees to obtain.
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If not, every teacher on staff.
