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Old 08-24-2011, 10:14 AM
 
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Well, I assume that other parents are doing the best they can for their kids unless given ample evidence to the contrary, and sending a child to public school (oh, the horrors!) doesn't qualify.
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Old 08-24-2011, 10:18 AM
 
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Heaven forbid a white child have to go to school with mostly black kids. How uncivilized!
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Old 08-24-2011, 10:22 AM
 
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Originally Posted by toobusytoday View Post
Bulletin boards are commonly used for venting because IRL one can't say to parents, "That's really stupid". It's okay to do so here and to look for validation for one's viewpoint. A terms of service reminder that helps sometimes:

http://www.city-data.com/forumtos.html
I don't think it's appropriate to use the term stupid on-line either, even if the person being criticized isn't a part of the forums, maybe especially since the person being criticized isn't participating since he has no ability to defend himself and his decision.

Regarding the terms of service, I do not believe that "helping each other" includes jumping on the bandwagon in trashing another parent when very limited information about a situation is available. Frankly, I would be torqued if I knew that someone with whom I had barely a glancing acquaintance was implying that I was parenting poorly because I chose to send my child to a different school.

Last edited by formercalifornian; 08-24-2011 at 10:30 AM..
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Old 08-24-2011, 10:27 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Neutral View Post
Heaven forbid a white child have to go to school with mostly black kids. How uncivilized!
You missed my point. When you take a child that has been heavily protected and naive, put them in an environment where they have no experience or knowledge to that type of situation. High school is hard enough and the change in drastic change in the environment can be extremely stressful. Same goes for taking an inner city black child and putting them in an wealthy white suburbia. How comfortable are they going to feel? I am talking about an environment that is not well integrated.
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Old 08-24-2011, 10:29 AM
 
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Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
Well, I assume that other parents are doing the best they can for their kids unless given ample evidence to the contrary, and sending a child to public school (oh, the horrors!) doesn't qualify.
Its about switching two environments. Not the horrors of publics schools per say.
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Old 08-24-2011, 10:29 AM
 
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Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
You missed my point. When you take a child that has been heavily protected and naive, put them in an environment where they have no experience or knowledge to that type of situation. High school is hard enough and the change in drastic change in the environment can be extremely stressful. Same goes for taking an inner city black child and putting them in an wealthy white suburbia. How comfortable are they going to feel? I am talking about an environment that is not well integrated.
Do you personally know the child involved in this situation? Or are you just assuming that he will have trouble with the adjustment?
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Old 08-24-2011, 10:36 AM
 
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OP, my parents did the same thing. I went through 8 years of Catholic school before moving into a public HS. In my case, I wanted to, because the Catholic HS was all girls (horror!). My brothers continued into an all boys Catholic HS, by choice.

It wasn't unusual at all in our case. Many of my classmates joined me in the public hs. Some parents did it to give their children a strong religious foundation, and felt 8 years was enough.

But, yeah, if the public hs was questionable for safety or quality of education, I would save my money during the elementary years and pay for private high school.

I wouldn't assume this boy will have a tough time. High schools usually have enough programs for everyone to find their niche with like-minded individuals.
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Old 08-24-2011, 11:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
Do you personally know the child involved in this situation? Or are you just assuming that he will have trouble with the adjustment?
I have met him twice at small parties that co workers throw. Do I know him well? No. He is a sweet kid and the same age as my son but this boy seems a lot younger. His father told my husband that the boy has been unable to sleep for the past month worrying about going to the new school. His words, "He is really scared." My husband is somewhat vocal and told this father that he might want to rethink sending the boy to that particular school.

Last year at that high school a group of boys threw a girl down a flight of stairs like a sack of potatoes. Another incident happened where 6 girls beat on one girl while on the school grounds. The last bit of news I heard was that the state is not happy with scores produced at the school as it is under state standards. So this is my point on this particular situation, this boy is going to have a hard time. Its a rough school. As a mother I do worry about this kid even though he is not mine. He seems like a nice kid. That is just how I am, flawed or not.

If you don't agree that I am using this forum to discuss it, that is fine. You are entitled to your opinion. As far as my general opinion, I think its odd that parents would start their children off in private to only switch them to public later on. As others have pointed out, it may be due to sports or activities. From my personal experience the private schools where I grew up and where I live now offer all these things so really it boils down to a question of money. If a parent knows they can't afford private for the long haul then they need to pay attention to what public schools are like in their area. Seems pointless to me to be protective in the younger years and then throw caution to the wind in the teen years when there are many factors involved than just academics.
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Old 08-24-2011, 11:08 AM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,489,422 times
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Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
OP, my parents did the same thing. I went through 8 years of Catholic school before moving into a public HS. In my case, I wanted to, because the Catholic HS was all girls (horror!). My brothers continued into an all boys Catholic HS, by choice.

It wasn't unusual at all in our case. Many of my classmates joined me in the public hs. Some parents did it to give their children a strong religious foundation, and felt 8 years was enough.

But, yeah, if the public hs was questionable for safety or quality of education, I would save my money during the elementary years and pay for private high school.

I wouldn't assume this boy will have a tough time. High schools usually have enough programs for everyone to find their niche with like-minded individuals.
My SIL requested the same thing. For some reason my MIL only put the youngest child in private catholic school. When my SIL was ready to start jr high, she asked to go the public school instead of going on with private. My uncle put all of his children through private and not once did he ever consider public school because his mind was set on a complete private education. I'm glad your parents let you make the decision. You were prepared for it and wanted it. I do hope this boy adapts and finds his niche.
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Old 08-24-2011, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,708,331 times
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I don't know that I'd call this stupid. My youngest has decided to stay in the local school for high school in spite of a less than stellar track record for the school but it really doesn't matter because she is tracking with the best students in the school. People don't understand why I don't force her to attend where I teach (a much better district) but it doesn't matter. It's like there are two different schools. One for the top 10% and one for the rest of the kids. Partially because dd attended a charter school that had a great G&T program, she's in that top 10%. Sending your kids to a private school for elemenatary school can build a solid foundation that can help carry them later. I am assuming here that the elementary schools are about the same quality as the high school. It would be odd to have good elementary schools and bad high schools.

As to adjusting, I think it would be just as hard to leave school mates you've gone to school with and lived in the same neighborhood with to go to a private high school as it would be to start attending the neighborhood school. The student is changing schools and cultures either way but my guess would be friendships would be stronger with neighborhood kids because they'd see them in the summer too. My dd's moved back to the local school from a charter school two years ago and both have adjusted fine. Dd#1 actually moved twice. Once when I pulled her from the charter and again a year later when I got a job in a great district and she decided she wanted to attend there (smaller school so there are more opportunties to be involved). Dd#2 has chosen to stay in the local schools but is finding that it's hard to get into sports and groups because there are just so many students to compete with but she has great friends where she is and wants to stay with them.
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