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Old 08-31-2011, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
5,352 posts, read 3,961,168 times
Reputation: 4179

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I would send her a quick email, assuming you have her's, and ask here how things are going and note that your daughter mentioned she had a headache... just touch base with her and try to get a feel of how things are going. You could also volunteer to come into class and help one day. Most grammer schools are always looking for class assistance from parents.
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Old 08-31-2011, 07:08 AM
 
2,596 posts, read 4,646,543 times
Reputation: 3949
Quote:
Originally Posted by mco65 View Post
You could also volunteer to come into class and help one day. Most grammer schools are always looking for class assistance from parents.
This is a great suggestion. In the classroom, the OP might have a better opportunity to evaluate whether a comment was made as a complaint and it's a frequent occurrence, or it was a joke made to another child one day that her daughter misinterpreted. I would take steps to get to know the teacher and see for herself before initiating anything that might cause icy relations for the rest of the school year.
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Old 08-31-2011, 07:45 AM
 
711 posts, read 1,282,717 times
Reputation: 711
Quote:
Originally Posted by vengefulangel View Post
Its already been a week and ive been threated to have my butt kicked and my tires slashed and thats just at my scholl. Give the lady a break maybe shes just having a bad day
I hope your not a teacher.
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Old 08-31-2011, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Arizona
1,206 posts, read 2,098,050 times
Reputation: 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by mco65 View Post
I would send her a quick email, assuming you have her's, and ask here how things are going and note that your daughter mentioned she had a headache... just touch base with her and try to get a feel of how things are going. You could also volunteer to come into class and help one day. Most grammer schools are always looking for class assistance from parents.
I have already offered to come in and volunteer for whatever she needs. I am a SAHM so have unlimited time to offer. She said she would let me know after the Labor Day holiday.
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Old 08-31-2011, 10:19 AM
 
15,778 posts, read 13,205,091 times
Reputation: 19657
OMG seriously?

Is she a good teacher? That might be slightly important to know before passing judgment.

I cannot fathom that people are calling someone unqualified based on two sentences. Do the people in this forum really think that there are not two sentences they have said at some point that taken out of context might make them look bad?

Maybe this teacher was out of line, maybe not. Its entirely too soon to tell. Two sentences from a single 9 yr old and some people are calling for this person to be fired.
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Old 08-31-2011, 11:13 AM
 
Location: GOVERNMENT of TRAITORS & NAZIS
20,598 posts, read 22,764,019 times
Reputation: 7630
Quote:
Originally Posted by vengefulangel View Post
Its already been a week and ive been threated to have my butt kicked and my tires slashed and thats just at my scholl. Give the lady a break maybe shes just having a bad day

I used to teach in Detroit too...
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Old 08-31-2011, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Midwest transplant
1,985 posts, read 4,794,357 times
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You've taken the right steps so far...your awareness is heightened. I would not react too strongly to your daughter's comments, it may encourage her to tell you more of the negative. If you go in and volunteer, perhaps you'll see for yourself what her issues are and if she's got a lot of "negatude" going on. Also, be sure to attend Back to School night.

If after a month, the complaining seems to be occuring every day, or you experience/see it in the classroom, I would ask to meet briefly with the Principal, in a supportive way to let them know that you're concerned with the teacher's comments about her job/position. She may be an excellent teacher, but a poor judge of what's appropriate for 9 year olds.
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Old 08-31-2011, 12:45 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,206 posts, read 2,098,050 times
Reputation: 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
OMG seriously?

Is she a good teacher? That might be slightly important to know before passing judgment.

I cannot fathom that people are calling someone unqualified based on two sentences. Do the people in this forum really think that there are not two sentences they have said at some point that taken out of context might make them look bad?

Maybe this teacher was out of line, maybe not. Its entirely too soon to tell. Two sentences from a single 9 yr old and some people are calling for this person to be fired.
I never called this teacher unqualified, I called her unprofessional, never said she should be fired either. I understand people get irritated, but come on, it's only been 3 weeks since school started. If she is already having such bad days she doesn't want to go to work what is her mood going to be like in another 5 months? I'm not passing judgment on her either, I simply wanted to know what other people would do/say in this situation.

This is not the first time we have had to deal with a teacher saying inappropriate things, we had to have our daughter switch teachers last year because her teacher did not know how to sensor herself. It got so bad my daughter didn't want to go to school anymore and would call herself stupid if she didn't understand something. I do not want this happening again this year, so I am concerned.
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Old 08-31-2011, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,206 posts, read 2,098,050 times
Reputation: 1529
Quote:
Originally Posted by teachbeach View Post
You've taken the right steps so far...your awareness is heightened. I would not react too strongly to your daughter's comments, it may encourage her to tell you more of the negative. If you go in and volunteer, perhaps you'll see for yourself what her issues are and if she's got a lot of "negatude" going on. Also, be sure to attend Back to School night.

If after a month, the complaining seems to be occuring every day, or you experience/see it in the classroom, I would ask to meet briefly with the Principal, in a supportive way to let them know that you're concerned with the teacher's comments about her job/position. She may be an excellent teacher, but a poor judge of what's appropriate for 9 year olds.
This is exactly what I was thinking, thank you.

I just want to make sure she doesn't have another negative school experience this year as she did for half of her 3rd grade year. Finally had to switch teachers last year because her first teacher was not able to sensor herself and said negative inappropriate things to not just my daughter but others as well.
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Old 08-31-2011, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
4,033 posts, read 8,262,802 times
Reputation: 4878
I imagine that the comments were directed at some very unruly behavior; the first couple of weeks of school, the kids are still acting as if it's summer break.

Moreover, from your comments, this actually seems to be a pattern with your daughter rather than her teachers. This is now the second teacher of your daughter's who, according to your daughter, is making inappropriate comments.

It is always important to listen to our children and validate their feelings but there is also a point at which children will learn to victimize themselves b/c it ellicits a sympathetic response from a parent rather than a modification in their (mis)behavior. She is portraying herself and her classmates as hapless victims who were unjustly and inappropriately criticized for their behavior.

I would sit down with your daughter and try to find out just exactly what was going on in the classroom when the comments occurred. I also wouldn't validate a victim mentality. Rather, I would point out that, while the teacher's comments were undesirable, they were [probably] made in response and directed towards misbehavior in the classroom. Obviously, the teacher means to shame the children for misbehaving, which the children will not like; they want to continue misbehaving and they certainly don't want to feel guilty about giving the teacher a headache. However, at some point kids also have to learn that their actions have consequences for other people, not just that bad behavior results in a punishment. I actually think that this could be a really good learning situation for your daughter.

While the teacher's comments are unfortunate and perhaps inappropriate, the situation is much more complex: there is more going on here. You and other parents really need to be careful of being manipulated by your kids re: a good teacher that the kids just don't like b/c he/she is stricter than they care for; you will end up with a teacher who probably does not discipline as much and who is very popular with the kids b/c he/she lets them get away with a lot more, which may not be in the kids' best interest.

I would contact other parents as well to get a clearer picture of the situation and their impressions, bearing in mind that most parents will instinctively defend their children, no matter what. I would also contact the teacher re: the situation rather than going over her head to the principal: something supportive and sensitive, like, "I imagine that you've had your hands full since school has begun," then see what she says. You will probably hear a completely different side of the story that explains why she made the comments.
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